10 Signs You’re in a Healthy Relationship

    Ladies, relationships play a huge role in a person’s life. It may seem obvious to some of you, but there are many who separate their relationships from the rest of their lives.

    Whether you’re with a guy you’re dating or engaged to, your relationship should come second to your relationship with Christ. But your guy has to have a prominent place in your heart and life—otherwise, why are you dating him? After all, he’ll likely be your husband, right? That’s why it’s important that the relationship you’re in is a healthy one.

    Here are 10 signs that can help you determine whether you’re in a healthy relationship.

    1. You talk to each other. Communication is so important in a relationship. A healthy relationship is one in which both guy and girl can speak openly to each other, not just about the things that concern them, but also about their hopes and dreams.
    2. You listen to each other. This is more important than communication. And listening is more than hearing. It’s about taking note of what is being said to you. A healthy relationship is one in which both you and your guy take the time to listen and act accordingly.
    3. You don’t argue. This doesn’t mean that you don’t disagree. Everyone disagrees, but in a a healthy relationship, disagreements don’t end up in arguments or fights. And the reason why you don’t argue is because you agree about the important things.
    4. You say you’re sorry. Saying sorry is not an easy thing to do, but when you’re with the right person, it’s easy. You’d rather humble yourself with an apology than make your guy feel bad, and vice versa. And when you say sorry, you’re not made to feel guilty or burdened.
    5. You understand your roles in the relationship. A healthy relationship is formed by a guy and girl who each understand their roles in making the relationship work. This is more evident in marriage when a home and children come into the picture.
    6. You respect each other. To respect someone is to hold them in high regard, and in a healthy relationship, both the guy and the girl recognize the value of the other person, not only as an individual, but as a part of the relationship. You respect each other’s values, beliefs and opinions. And you respect each other’s desire to remain chaste until marriage.
    7. You love God more than each other. When you put God first, everything falls into place. When you love God, your desire is to emulate Christ, and in doing so, you both try to instill the Christian qualities within you that lead you to be more compassionate, loving and kind to each other.
    8. You strengthen each other’s walk with Christ. You both recognize that this is the core of every successful relationship. And you encourage each other to know, love and serve God more by loving and serving others together. So you attend church together, volunteer together and, most importantly, you pray and read scripture together.
    9. You share each other’s interests. You’re each other’s best friend, and like best friends, you love to do stuff together. When you have fun together, your relationship is stronger because you’re happy together.
    10. You see a future together. Because ultimately, this is the reason why you’re together, right? If you’re not already married, then your intention is to be so soon.


    Ladies, are you in a healthy relationship?

    T.M. Gaouette
    T.M. Gaouette is a freelance writer, ghostwriter, blogger and fiction novelist. She was born in Africa, brought up in London and is now living in New England with her husband and four children. Devoted to Him, Gaouette is dedicated to glorifying God through her stories for teens and young adults. T.M. Gaouette is the author of "The Destiny of Sunshine Ranch" and "Freeing Tanner Rose," Christian novels for teens and young adults. She's currently working on completing her upcoming novel -visit for more on her Christian fiction work. Connect with her on and .


    1. Yep. lol According to this list, my boyfriend and I are settling into a healthy pattern in our relationship. Some of this we started out with, some of it we’ve grown into, and some of it we’re still learning. But we’re getting better and better at this stuff.

    2. This is a good start, but I’m going to have to disagree with #5 (“You understand your roles in the relationship”). Please correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m assuming by ‘roles’, you mean gender roles as in who pays, who drives to dates, who cooks, etc. This may be just me, but I do not see the point in assigning gender roles, especially in a couple.

      For instance, the traditional role for guys is driving the girl on dates. However, in the relationship my best friend is in, this would go terribly wrong–my friend’s boyfriend is not the best driver in the world :p However, there is no need for them to “abide by the roles”. I’d much rather be driving than let my boyfriend drive, considering he hasn’t gotten his license yet 😉 Just wanted to throw this out there!

      • That’s exactly what I thought when I read that one! I’m not too big on the gender roles. (I think I’m probably too independent for me to take them seriously) My life is not a play for me to fill the role my gender gave me, I’m just going to be me, be happy, and hopefully be accepted for it.

      • Yes! Every set of two people is different, which means every relationship is different, which means every relationship is going to have different roles. Sometimes those will look very traditional, sometimes they won’t. And thinking that you can just ‘check off the boxes’ is a big mistake — every relationship requires wisdom in order to be an active participant, no matter how simple it seems on the outside. The way you get that wisdom is to just ask for it, James 1:5 says “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.”

        Jesus said the church was his bride, and he also said that he wanted that all people — so, his bride — “that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me.” John 17:21. So, then, Jesus is saying that the unity in marriage ought to be like the unity between him and the church, which ought to be like the unity between him and the father, and the holy spirit. The unity of the trinity isn’t something captured by defined rules, it’s like a beautifully choreographed dance, with three parts, each distinct, but each moving together in perfect harmony.

        A godly marriage isn’t you filling your “roles” — it’s you two participating in a dance, together, unified, building each other up, moving together — whatever that ends up looking like in day-to-day life.

    3. This is a pretty good article to go by! My relationship is a good strong one thankfully <3 however, if there's anyone dating someone that they aren't sure there's a future with, don't feel like you shouldn't be in a relationship. Everyone says "don't date anyone you don't see yourself marrying!!!" but honestly, I can't see myself getting married to anyone in the future – at all. It's just not something I can fathom for myself, so I'm definitely not able to think as I'm beginning to date someone "hey, I don't think I should date this person because I'm not sure if I'll marry them!"
      I've dated three people so far, and in two relationships I honestly thought I would marry them but – news flash! – just because you think you'll marry someone, it doesn't mean you will. So until you get deep in a relationship, I would suggest not to fret over if it's someone you'll marry because chances are, until you're 18 or older you probably won't be dating the person you'll marry. Just sayin.

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