10 Signs You’re in a Toxic Relationship
Written by T.M. Gaouette | February 20, 2015
Ladies, last week I wrote a post on “10 Signs That You’re in a Healthy Relationship.” Well, this week I’m going to focus on 10 signs that you’re in a toxic relationship.
It’s normal in our imperfect society to believe that we shouldn’t expect to have a great relationship. Or that there will be some negative aspect of every relationship or marriage. But ladies, nothing is impossible with God. In order to get to that great relationship, however, we have to recognize when we’re not in one. We have to be honest about whether we’re currently in a toxic relationship.
If you’re interested in knowing if you’re currently in a toxic relationship, check out the following 10 signs. As you’ll notice, they’re pretty much the opposite of those of a healthy relationship.
- You don’t talk to each other. A lack of conversation is very damaging in a relationship. So if you’re reluctant to bring up concerns or you don’t share your hopes and dreams with your guy, then you’re pretty much closing the door on future discussions about important issues.
- You don’t listen to each other. In many toxic relationships, couples talk at each other, or maybe they focus more on talking about themselves and neglect to listen. Talking over each other is another way of speaking but not having a conversation.
- You argue. This goes beyond having disagreements. Arguments are usually more aggressive and heated than disagreements, and they typically lead to accusations and sarcasm. Don’t be fooled into believing that all couples argue. All couples disagree, but in toxic relationships, couples argue.
- You don’t say you’re sorry. When you’re wrong, you don’t apologize, and that usually leaves a hole in a relationship. Usually people don’t apologize because they care more about being right than they care about the other person. Pride and arrogance often get in the way of apologizing.
- You don’t understand your roles in the relationship. When you don’t establish roles in your relationship, you butt heads and everything falls apart. Harmony can only be established when a guy and girl accept and maintain complementary roles, and this is never more significant than when it comes to marriage, with a home and children.
- You don’t respect each other. There’s no respect in your relationship, so it’s become very toxic. You no longer mind boundaries and you don’t value your guy, and vice versa. This can lead to diminishing the value of the one you supposedly care about. And that can lead to speaking disrespectfully to your guy and treating him with compete disregard.
- You don’t love God more than each other. When God is not set above your relationship, you don’t glorify Him in it. And when you don’t glorify Him, then you don’t try to please God by maintaining a Godly relationship.
- You don’t strengthen each other’s walk with Christ. You and your guy don’t help each other in strengthening your relationship with Christ. When this happens, you fall away from your faith. You don’t pray as much as you used to or maybe you don’t go to church or Mass regularly.
- You don’t share each other’s interests. You and your guy don’t hang out like friends, and so your relationship is just not fun. Couples who spend more time apart doing things with their friends often find that they have less and less in common as time goes on.
- You don’t see a future together. A toxic relationship is one with no future. Maybe you’re just in a casual relationship. Maybe you guys are all about “having fun.” This kind of relationship ultimately leads to intimacy and sex outside of marriage, which in turn only accumulates tons of baggage. If you can’t see a future with your guy and he doesn’t see one with you, then there’s really no Godly reason for you to be together.
Ladies, a toxic relationship can be saved if you and your guy really want to have a future together. Relationships are hard enough, but a toxic relationship requires more work. It requires more patience. But more than that, it requires a lot of prayer.
Ladies, do you believe that you’re in a toxic relationship?
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