Bullying has become a huge problem in schools. And because social media has made it easier to contact people and share information, bullying now comes in many formats.
In order to deal with bullies, it might help to understand how they tick! I’m going to offer up a few secrets about bullies, and they may just surprise you.
Before you delve into this list, however, know that not all bullies fall into all of these categories. But it’s more than likely that every bully falls into at least a few!
So here goes:
- It’s not easy being a bully. It’s true! Imagine having to maintain your status as a bully. It means you have to continue bullying, and that can be exhausting.
- They’re desperately unhappy. Anyone who is truly happy would never have the desire to hurt others. Only unhappy people take out their frustrations on other people. Only unhappy people are mean. They’re miserable, so they want others to feel the same way.
- They’re insecure. Contrary to the popular notion that bullies have a superior attitude, deeper than that are feelings of insecurity and low self-esteem. Bullies pick on others because it takes the focus off of themselves and what they believe are their weaknesses.
- They’re envious of their victims. There’s something a victim has that a bully wants! Maybe the victim is prettier in the bully’s eyes, or smarter, or maybe the bully’s crush likes the victim. Or maybe the victim is confident or secure in her own skin—something the bully wishes she could be—and so the bully is jealous of that and wants to destroy that confidence. The bully doesn’t have it, so why should you?
- They’re trying to impress the cool kids. Or they want to be cool! When bullies bully, others laugh or follow along. And bullying can lead to popularity. It has to do with hierarchy, and ultimately goes back to #3: insecurity.
- They’re not strong. Think about it: Most bullies surround themselves with others. Strength is in numbers. If those people desert the bully, she loses her strength. She actually needs them.
- They want attention. Maybe they’re not getting attention at home. Maybe a parent is neglecting them. Maybe they can’t make friends the regular way. So a bully resorts to picking on others to get attention.
- They don’t want to be bullied. Bullies do not want to be bullied. Often, they become the bully so that they won’t be bullied. The big fear of a bully is meeting her match. What if the person she picks on fights back or makes her look bad? This is why she often has an entourage—for support.
- They are being bullied. Many bullies are actually being bullied somewhere else in their world. It could be their parents, siblings or other people they interact with on a regular basis.
- They’re afraid. Bullies are afraid of a lot of things. They’re afraid of being deserted by their peers. They’re afraid that people will learn that they’re not as strong as they act. They’re afraid that you’ll find out all of the above!
Ladies, bullies are often dealing with personal issues that are painful. This certainly doesn’t give them a reason to behave the way they do. But it does demonstrate that bullies need your prayers. I know that’s the last thing you want to do for a person who may be bullying you, but remember, God is your strength. And He can soften even the hardest of hearts.
PI Girls, what do you think about the above list? Share your story…we love to hear from you!