10 Things for the Single Girl to Remember in the Middle of “Cuffing Season”

    It’s getting cold outside. Couples are wrapped up in each other’s arms. Your family asks if you’re seeing anyone yet. The Hallmark Channel is releasing new episodes of the perfect holiday romance. Christmas lights begin to line the streets. That magical feeling is in the air. Oh yes, “cuffing season” is officially upon us. Culturally, it’s the idea that this is the time to settle down and couple up so you won’t end up spending the holidays alone.

    However, there are so many more reasons to not settle in the face of vulnerability or pressure during this time. In fact, you can have a perfectly fulfilling holiday season with or without a boyfriend and it’s all about how you choose to spend your time! So here are 10 things to keep in mind when you’re a single girl in the middle of “cuffing season.”


    1. Never make your decisions out of loneliness. It almost always makes you overlook red flags and is harder to get out of. 


    2. Remember romance isn’t the only form of love. You can spend more quality time being present with friends and family and getting to know yourself during this time!


    3. Your journey may look different from those around you and that’s okay. God’s purpose for you was never defined by your relationship status.


    4. Single doesn’t automatically mean lonely and relationships don’t always equal happy. It’s about how you spend your time and the foundation on which you’ve built your life.


    5. Set boundaries for your mental health. Consider taking a break from those holiday romance shows if they’re making you feel hopeless and disappointed about your love life. Remember—it’s all scripted.


    6. This is the perfect time to cozy up to that book you’ve been wanting to finish!


    7. Or you can have that holiday classics movie marathon with your girlfriends!


    8. Now’s that time of the year to evaluate your goals for next year and become a better woman for it!


    9. You have the freedom to give, serve or volunteer this season as much as you decide.


    10.  While your friends are out doing couple things, consider doing some of these 50 Things to Do When You’re Single for the Holidays.

    Brittney Moses
    Brittney Moses
    Brittney Moses is a Los Angeles native, passionate about seeing this generation live wholeheartedly on purpose. While pursuing Clinical Psychology, she leverages her platform to reduce stigma, educate and assist with helpful information on the integration of faith and mental health. Still, her favorite part of life is being called Mommy to her sweet son Austin.


    1. I don’t really have any expectations for getting a boyfriend just because most other people have one. (This is going to be a really long post that doesn’t even strictly relate to the article) Anyway, almost two months ago I started going to a new church (same beliefs as my previous one, just smaller) and after the service, my family and I were standing outside the sanctuary. I noticed another family standing across the room from ours, talking, and one of the boys kept looking my way and smiling. Maybe he was just smiling because of the conversation going on between him and his family, maybe he was just looking at me because I was a new kid that morning. I don’t know. Anyway, that night there was a youth group event. My brother and I went, and this same boy came up to us as we were playing foosball and just joined us out of the blue. Then, he sat at the same table as my brother and I did at the youth group dinner time, and looked straight at me as he was explaining some facts he found interesting. Then he held the garbage open for me when I threw away my plate. Then later, when my brother and I were being asked our ages, he’s literally craning his head around other people to see if I raise my hand for middle school or high school (kinda sad that he thought I might be middle school when I’m definitely high school – I’m short, but hey at least maybe it shows he was interested). Is it just me because I like him, or does it seem like he might have liked me? Basically 2 months later now… after attending church and youth group with this boy, he is great. He has very good knowledge of the Bible, kind, and serves with the younger children’s programs on weekends. He’s respectful, and he prayed once in Sunday school and even if I didn’t like this boy a single bit, I would still say you could tell how strong his love for the Lord was from his praying. His dad’s awfully nice to me, too, and one of the church elders. Now for the not so happy news. I have social anxiety. I am quite afraid that I have appeared disinterested, probably even rude, over the past several weeks. I disappoint myself because I really want to talk to this boy, but I haven’t. It should be so simple. And yet I feel like I’m ruining for myself what could at least be a cool friendship. Last night at a youth social event – a movie night, he sat next to me during the movie, and I didn’t say a word to him the whole time except shake my head when he asked if anyone was sitting next to me. And if I can talk about anything, it’s Star Wars.. well guess what we were watching. Still, even after the movie, I didn’t ask him how he’d liked it, if he’d seen it before, who his favorite character was… It makes me so sad because I think about all that stuff afterwards and realize how good it would have been for me to just say those things. But in the moment, I just stood up and walked away as soon as the credits started. I don’t want to come across as freakishly infatuated, but I know that’s just an excuse I give myself because nothing I would say would realistically come across that way. Still, in the moment, I always feel reserved and hold myself back from even saying hi because of these ridiculous fears of embarrassment, rejection, and my own self doubt and low self esteem. If he ever liked me, he probably thinks I don’t like him now. If you made it this far, thanks, and I have a request. Please pray for me, that I would be able to overcome my hesitancy to interact with people, specifically this boy. And please pray that, if it is God’s will, that he would somehow realize that I didn’t mean to be disrespectful or come across as uninterested, even though that’s the way it seemed. Please also pray that I would remember my identity in Christ when I am mentally beating myself up over my shortcomings, and that instead I would look to Christ to help me overcome the difficulty. Thank you.

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