10 Things Teen Boys DO Want You to Know

    Ladies, do you and your friends ever wonder what boys think about girls? Are you or one of your friends crushing on a guy and trying to get his attention?

    At the end of last year, I gave you a list of 10 Things Teen Boys Don’t Want You To Know! Well, this week I’m giving you a list of 10 things they do want you to know, but that they may not come out and say directly. I hope this will give you some interesting insights into how boys think.

    Before you delve into this list, however, know that no two guys, whether they’re non-Christian or Christian, are the same. And not all boys fall into all of these scenarios. So here goes:

      1. Friendships are important to guys (just like they’re important to you!), and they often will put their friends before girls and dating.
      2. Flirting is confusing. Guys just don’t understand flirting! Some girls flirt for attention, while others flirt only with guys they like, but guys aren’t privy to the ambiguity behind flirting….so it confuses them!
      3. Girls who curse and smoke are not cool. Guys may not care if some girls they know smoke or curse, but most would rather the girls they’re interested in keep their language clean and not smell like ashtrays!
      4. They’re not into drama or backstabbing best friends. When girls gossip or talk negatively about their pals, guys are not impressed. In fact, guys respect girls with integrity.
      5. They can’t just be friends if they like you. Don’t tell a guy you just want to be friends if he likes you. Consider the flip side! How easy is it for you to hang out with a guy you’re crushing on when he just wants to be friends? It’s no fun!
      6. They prefer girls they can talk to. Some guys are baited by a pretty face, but beauty fades in the eyes of the beholder if you have a mean streak and no personality. The same goes for guys, right?
      7. The less makeup, the better. Many guys really like more of a natural look. Too much makeup gives the assumption that you have something to hide!
      8. Some girls are too boy crazy. While teen guys are interested in girls, many kind of wish girls would tone it down when it comes to boys! Oh, and they just hate the giggling and whispering behind cupped hands!
      9. They are more comfortable with modesty. They want to look into your eyes when they talk to you and not be distracted by tight or revealing clothes. Guys really don’t like immodesty, and if they do, it’s usually for the wrong reasons.
      10. Phone calls and text messages are not a commitment. When a guy calls or texts a girl, he may or may not be interested in getting to know her more, but either way, he doesn’t want her to think communication necessarily means commitment.

    Ladies, this list is not meant to change you, but rather, give you some insight about the things teen boys wish you knew. However, it will also inform you of two important things. One is that all the things that guys don’t like are negative traits anyway, right? Like gossiping and smoking and being boy crazy. And two, nixing these negative qualities will only help you become more of a Godly girl…which is what your focus should be anyway!

    Teen boys are complicated, that’s for sure, but guess what? They think teen girls are too. And the truth is, your teen years are complicated in general. Which is why I continue to urge you to spend your teen years focusing on God, rather than a complicated relationship, that in most cases will end in heartache!

    Ladies, what do you think about the above list? Share your story…we love to hear from you!  

    T.M. Gaouette
    T.M. Gaouette is a freelance writer, ghostwriter, blogger and fiction novelist. She was born in Africa, brought up in London and is now living in New England with her husband and four children. Devoted to Him, Gaouette is dedicated to glorifying God through her stories for teens and young adults. T.M. Gaouette is the author of "The Destiny of Sunshine Ranch" and "Freeing Tanner Rose," Christian novels for teens and young adults. She's currently working on completing her upcoming novel -visit for more on her Christian fiction work. Connect with her on and .


    1. Thank u this helped a LOT! I dont cuss or wear innapropriate clothing and it discusts me how girls do that so im so glad i was raised that way. I dont smoke or wear makeup either. 🙂 i like this guy from my church and school (well im homeschooled but i have friday classes and he goes to that) he likes my friend though.. Ive known him for 3 years but i havent liked him until 3 months ago… He is kinda a player but.. Agh i like him a lot.. My friend asked if he liked me at all, and he said just as a friend.. I told one of my friends i liked him and she told EVERYONE including my friend who likes him (and he likes her) and she also told the guy i like.. But my other friend convinced the guy i like that i didnt like him becuz it would be awkward if he knew i liked him since he likes my friend… It just makes me so sad that he doesnt like me and many of times i seriously thought he did like me by what he said over texts and in person but idk.. I guess hes just a flirt 🙁 and EVERYONE says how cute it would be if we were a couple.. I dont want to date yet and im not aloud to anyways.. I just want him to like me but i guess that didnt happen 🙁

      • Hi Taylor.

        Don’t worry. You are only 15 and when the time is right God will help you find a good, fearful, loving and understanding husband.

        I’ve been in a relationship with some one who took my very far away from God for 1 ½ year. Leaving him was so hard, but God’s blessings are so much bigger than anything a guy could ever give. NO man can love you more than Jesus already has. So put your worth in Jesus and place Him above everything else. He knows the plan for you.

        If he wants you to be with that guy, he will make it happen. Trust in the grace of your father, he loves you and knows whats best. And don’t worry, i know being 15 and teenager sucks. Growing up is hard. Things get better. Remember to pray and pray for your future husband too. Take care of yourself first. He took 9 months to create you, right? To make sure you were perfect. You are fearful and wonderful made, and you don’t need a boyfriend to tell you that. You just need Jesus.

      • @TaylorSelph Hey sweet girl; like I wrote in the article, boys are so confusing and this stage in your life is really confusing, But know this, whether this boy likes you or not doesn’t determine your value. You are special in God’s eyes, and you don’t need this boy’s approval to know that. And consider this, how complicated would it be if he did like you? You just clarified that you didn’t want to date yet and that you were not allowed. If he liked you and wanted to date, that would make everything all the more complicated, right? Maybe your principles, his lack of interest, and your parent’s rules are God’s way of saying he’e not the one. Anyway, hang in there, sweet girl. Refocus your mind on He who holds you in high regard. Best and blessings, TMG

    2. I like these a lot. I think being a girl they can talk to is very important, as well as not being guy crazy:) They are all key, but those two stuck out to me as ones I can work on within my group of friends.

      • The one about cussing – some people have a problem with it, like me. I don’t judge people or think less of them for their problems, so people shouldn’t of me for mine. If they do, then it’s them who has a problem. Either you except people or you don’t.

    3. This is soo true especially about guys are confused about flirting. I saw my brother un-knowingly flirting with girls…he didn’t understand that having long conversations and sitting by them at a 4-h meeting, to them, meant flirting. Anyway, I explained to him that they took this as flirting and he was so confused. He thought they were just having a conversation and he was really sad. I pretty much explained to him the female mind and he was really sad. So, yeah, guys do not like dating!!! And also, my brother has a best friend and they hang out all the time. They are Snap-chatting all the time and always talk when ever they see each other. Friendships are VERY important to guys.

      • I thought about this and I think a better way to explain it is that if a guy has been pursuing you and finally admits that he likes you after the “chase”, but you don’t feel the same, it’s better to distance yourself from him to let him deal with the rejection. This stinks though, especially when you had no clue they were “pursuing” you in the first place!

      • @Teddyree Thanks for the question. You’re right. As Christians we are called to remain pure until marriage. This tip is in the event that you learn that a guy friend or a guy you know likes you. In this situation, you can’t just say, “I’m sorry I’m not interested in dating, but I’d like to be friends.” They can’t be friends if they have feelings for you, so it would be better to take a step back, just as Olivia correctly wrote below. This is easier to do if the guy is not already a friend. Best and blessings, TMG

        • What do you do if the guy likes you, and has told you, but has told you that he wants to wait to date?

        • @Teddyree – I’d be thankful:) I’ve stated this many times. I believe that dating is the first step to finding a husband. Anything more casual is complicated and leads to heartache. Casual dating can also leave you open to temptation, which will likely affect your future marriage. At this point, your focus should be on God! Thanks so much for your question. Blessings, TMG

        • But what if he’s a really good, sweet, caring, and funny friend? It seems stupid to just abandon the friendship because he happens to like you. Wouldn’t that just make things worse?

    4. I know that what makes a women who she really is, is what’s inside her heart but how do I show who i really am from the heart if they won’t give me the time of day to see who I am. Today I wore a scert that was kinda short and I got all kinds of attention but not the attention I want. I want guys and people in general to see who I am and not what I’m wearing.

    5. Wow, I love these, so relatable. I am not really a relationships person but I have only liked one guy for about 3 yrs now, we used to go to school together and our parents were friends before we moved to the U.S the year before last. Am not allowed to date but he asked me out and I didn’t even think about it, couldn’t say no because I really liked him but I wanna get closer to God and grow uprightly, what do I do?
      (its now a long distance relationship though)

    6. Guilty of number 5 haha, this great guy told me he likes me and I told him we should just be friends, which we are. But I get the feeling from him like he expects me to like him back too now, which I don’t and don’t think I will. I’m not attracted to him at all in that way, I just like being friends and want to stay that way since I don’t like him.

    7. 5. They can’t just be friends if they like you. Don’t tell a guy you just want to be friends if he likes you.

      Well, what if he’s a great friend and I’m not ready to commit right now? I don’t want to lose his friendship!

    8. Two problems with this.
      One: “Don’t tell a guy you just want to be friends if he likes you.”
      …what else are you supposed to do? Just cut off all forms of communication with the guy? If you didn’t know he liked you, how could you just throw away a friendship out of the blue because of his feelings? ugh
      Two: “The less makeup, the better. Many guys really like more of a natural look. Too much makeup gives the assumption that you have something to hide!”
      I love makeup. And I wear as much as I want. Why should girls care what boys think about this? I’m just imagining some makeup-loving girl reading this and feeling like she has to change herself for boys to like her. Gross.

      • I just started college and I don’t have an answer or understand the “don’t tell a guy you want to be friends if he likes you” I kinda understand it bc it saves your friendship for a while. But I don’t know what you do instead! As far as the makeup, I believe it is a true finding from many guys. But the point is don’t feel pressured to wear makeup or to think its the only way to attract a boy. If you love makeup and don’t care what boys think then wear it! Just know boys don’t like to see your beautiful natural face and that they will like you for you without any makeup on! Hope this helps!

        • Just know that boys DO like to see your beautiful and natural face! Sorry for the typo :/

    9. 5. They can’t be just friends if they like you.

      ….What if you might like them back? I mean, I don’t want to lose the friendship we have, but I don’t like him back. I’m caught between a rock and a hard place here.

    10. #5… how do you do that to someone?? I am a people pleaser and a peace maker, so I DO NOT like hurting people! there is a guy at school who I think might like me, but I don’t like him that way. how do I be a friend to him without making him think that I like him back?

    11. I like this article. 😀 Most of these things should be no problem for me, but I few I didn’t quite understand were #5 and #7. For 5, do you mean I shouldn’t be friends with a guy if he has a crush on me? What if I didn’t even know he had a crush on me? Or what if I know but want to stay friends? Do I just not tell him that I know and pretend that things are normal? Or are you saying, if he says he likes me we can never be friends again…? I don’t really understand romance stuff (I’m probably the only teenager who has ever walked the earth to have never had a crush. >_>;;). And about the makeup, by “the less makeup the better” do you mean that I can wear makeup as long as I’m not piling it on, or do you mean it would be best if I ditched makeup all together???

      • So I think basically what is important about #5 is understanding how a boy would feel in that situation and accepting if he decides not to continue Yalls friendship. Then it says to think about it, it may be hard for you to hangout with a guy you like but yall can’t be more than friends bc he does not want to date you. If yall know yall like each other but aren’t dating or one of yall know the others feelings, it is okay to hangout just be careful.God created every person how he wanted and everyone is beautiful. Naturally is nice and most precious. I believe that makeup should be wore to enhance and brighten the face not to cover, hid, and puts glumps of it on. I think it is up to you whether you want to wear it and how much. Makeup is not bad, just dont use too much. Hope this helps! Let me know if anything doesn’t make sense.

    12. I don’t completely agree with #5. You said “How easy is it for you to hang out with a guy you’re crushing on when he just wants to be friends? It’s no fun!” On the contrary, I’ve had the opposite experience. One of the best experiences I had with a guy was this guy Daniel I was crushing on. I ended up telling him about it, because a friend threatened to tell him if I didn’t. He told me “I don’t like you, but I don’t want this to mess up our friendship.” He made a point to talk to me and hang out with me afterwards, and we stayed great friends. A further relationship never developed, and to this day I am so grateful for the way he handled things! I’m so glad we got to remain friends in spite of my crush on him!

    13. Okay, so I do have an objection…

      I once told my guy best friend I had a crush on him (after his brother threw him under the bus and told my sister he had a crush on me…) and it turned out fine, in fact we both knew that dating would have no point and agreed we’d just continue being best friends…
      and if there came a time when both of us were ready and older then I think I might start dating him with the intention of marriage…
      and I only say that because I’ve known him since we were in our church’s nursery.

    14. About number five, I really like this guy and he likes me back. We aren’t dating, and he’s really shy so we also haven’t talked about a relationship. I kind of want to wait a couple years to date. My question is why can’t we just be friends for now? Yes I really like this guy and I would love to date him but my parents think i’m too young to date for now ( i’m 15).

      • Some of the best advice I ever got was this: find and cling to good guys of all ages. Good people make good friends and good significant others. You’re young, just be friends, if he’s a good friend chances are eventually he’ll make a good boyfriend when the time comes. Before this year (my senior year of high school) I hadn’t dated, I had just been friends with guys. Then just before Christmas this year one of those guy friends asked me out; he goes to my church, he’s a great guy and our friendship has turned into a great relationship, it probably won’t last while we go to college, I mean I doubt he’s the one God has for me. But nonetheless, our relationship is fun and totally pure and we go to Mass together and it’s great and it’s all because we he was first my classmate, then friend, then brother, now boyfriend. Stay friends, it’ll be great!

    15. I remember going through stages having crushes on guys when I was in my younger teens , its was difficult, I ‘h impluvise issues I’m a huggable person some guys don’t always want to be hugged let them hug you I ‘ve been rejected I ‘d get physical lonely, easily my cousins were having boyfriends, they were younger than me, 13 years old,
      I didn’t understand things being on the Autism Spectum disorder its hard to control my emoits at times, I ‘d be crying a lot all the time, its was depressing, for me not having friends that understood nor extra long suffering, took me a long time to find another guy to friend that’s was bout five years ago now.
      I was just 14/1/2 years old at that time James just turned fifteen., I thought some of the girls were going to ask me dose James like u?, thank God that never happened, he did hug its alright Jessica, clam down , he noicted that I was getting angry, he said we re to young to be dating, my parents say 16 or older, I respouned I’m glad to hear that, I wasn’t ready, at that time, its was V Day’s, we were both homeschooled! I’m glad he advised me to purser myself into dating, yes guys ‘ll tease , I ‘h that many times, I never forgot to this day leave Jessica alone, she doesn’t appericte being laughed at,
      James told me we re just friends, through email, he said not ready to move yet, It ment he didn’t want to date yet, I was 16/1/2 years old at that time,. I ‘d not prusser yourselves into dating,. courtship is better, wait on the Lord!! I’m 19/1/2 years old I ‘ve dated yet, I pro won’t date till my 20’s, I’m ok being single is ok!! girls, James was happy for me I was ok being single,. he’s single, also he is turning 20 today! hard to believe,. the devil can come up with tempations,

    16. Some of these are true, but I respectfully disagree with number seven. While it certainly holds true for MANY, MANY boys, please do not feel like you have to wear less to no makeup to make a guy like you a little more! c: You should dress and put makeup on for YOU, because you feel good in what you wear, and it’s what you’re most comfortable with. I feel like someone should wear as little or as much makeup as they want regardless of guys’ opinions.

    17. Totally agree with number 7!!!!! Some girls think they need bucket loads of makeup for boys to like them. Ladies, guys like to see your face!!! I’m definitely not opposed to makeup, because I wear it myself! Just make sure you still look like you when you’re done 🙂

    18. I would say, just love yourself the way you are, and keep God your number one priority. You don’t have to strive or follow any list to get your “perfect guy” to love you. Follow Jesus. Do what pleases HIM, and He will lead you to the man of your dreams. A man who loves you and respects you for who YOU are.

      • Of course that is modest, that is about as modest as shorts can be, I feel like as long as they are past your fingertips, or more than halfway down your thigh, then they are completely modest. It would be waaaay to much to ask for a girl to be wearing full length pants in the middle of the summer.

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