10 Things Teen Boys Don’t Want You to Know

    Boys can be hard to understand, right? And for Christian girls growing up in a highly sexual world, it’s imperative to learn how they tick!

    But guys aren’t just going to up and give away their secrets…yes, they have secrets, just like you! So I’m going to let you in on a few.

    Before you delve into this list, however, know that no two guys, whether they’re non-Christian or Christian, are the same. And not all boys fall into all of these scenarios. But even the best Christian guy falls into at least a few!!!

    So here goes:

    1. Being a guy is tough. There are a lot of expectations and peer pressure from other guys. In that sense, they’re not much different from you!
    2. Teen boys struggle as much as you.They’re also going through an awkward stage. Physically and emotionally, they’re experiencing new things. They’re crossing over from child to adult, and in many ways, it ain’t pretty!
    3. Boys can be insecure, and fear rejection and failure. They don’t know how to act in front of girls, as much as you don’t know how to act around them. So they may put on a tough persona to hide their insecurities.
    4. They may be saying what they need to say to get what they want. I’m sorry to include this, but I’ve actually heard teen boys say this–usually in the event that they want to be intimate. It’s basically a means to an end that they’d rather deal with later!
    5. Many aren’t interested in long-term relationships…at least, not right now! They just want to have fun, fit in and not be left out. Sound familiar?
    6. They may be looking to trade up. Eeek! I’ve heard this directly also. Boys like to compete, and at this point in their lives, they’re usually not looking for the girl who would make the best wife.
    7. They’re very visual. Many boys lust quickly and it doesn’t take much for their minds to hit the gutter. Sure, checking out girls is cool among friends, but many guys struggle with immodesty. It’s often distracting and confusing, and since they’re likely going through hormonal changes, it’s embarrassing. Even Christian guys struggle!
    8. They may be easily tempted. Again, lots of guys struggle with immodesty. Many are too immature to avert their eyes when a “hot” girl walks by or flirts with him.
    9. Guys are physically attracted to immodesty and emotionally attracted to modesty. And this isn’t just in relation to clothes, but also to behavior. I can’t say this enough…boys respect modesty!
    10. They’re not going to change for you. Really! Even if they say they will, most likely they’re just saying it to get what they want…refer back to number 4.

    Ladies, this post is not meant to denigrate boys, or give them excuses for their behavior. The truth is that teenage boys are just as complicated as you are. They’re going through a physical and emotional change in their lives, and it’s a challenge.

    But the truth is that the many idiosyncrasies that come with being a teen boy are the same reasons why getting emotionally involved usually ends up with a broken heart for you. But more than that, relationships can distract you from God. I know that I’ve written it before, but unless you’re looking for marriage, you probably shouldn’t be looking for love!

    Ladies, what do you think about the above list? Share your story…we love to hear from you!

    T.M. Gaouette
    T.M. Gaouette is a freelance writer, ghostwriter, blogger and fiction novelist. She was born in Africa, brought up in London and is now living in New England with her husband and four children. Devoted to Him, Gaouette is dedicated to glorifying God through her stories for teens and young adults. T.M. Gaouette is the author of "The Destiny of Sunshine Ranch" and "Freeing Tanner Rose," Christian novels for teens and young adults. She's currently working on completing her upcoming novel -visit for more on her Christian fiction work. Connect with her on and .


    1. I really agree with you on dating! I don’t think we should try to date guys when we are only 13-16. What’s the point? I do think there is nothing wrong with some harmless flirting but getting attached and etc. is not healthy emotionally.

        • First of all that;s besides ilovemusic@LKH’s point. Second of all that was just a rare instance for you. Most girls at that age need to be focusing on their walk with Christ, building deeper friendships and their education. Some thirteen year old’s are still in middle school depending on their birthday so they need to not be fishing for boys. Most girls at those ages are not ready for a relationship. They barely know what they want in a guy except what the world thinks. I know I was nor ready at that age and I am still growing. Children at that age need to be focusing on becoming women of gold that seek after God and His kingdom, and his righteousness, and to know Him better, and to be more like Him, and to be better Christian wives for their future spouses(:

        • That’s great for you guys, but that also doesn’t usually happen. Also typically at that age girls are alot more physically mature than guys, and with that they notice guys in ways that most guys don’t notice them, a guy may date but usually it won’t actually go anywhere

        • Your profile says you’re fourteen…. you’re getting married?!?!? I mean, go ahead, whatever makes you happy, but isn’t that a little young?

      • I agree 100%. Some people do meet their significant other when they’re younger and manage to stay together, but this doesn’t happen often. This is the point where we’re hormonal and rendered incapable of making good decisions for relationships. We have too much to worry about with school anyway.
        I do not mean to be judgmental, critical, or condescending. After all, I’m only 17. I’m saying this because I’ve experienced it too. I got my first boyfriend just in February and he dumped me because he wanted to kiss me one day after we started dating. For me, I acted on my hormones – I thought the guy was cute, especially because he was Latino. Latinos are just really attractive to me. And he liked me because I learned Spanish. Yes, you read that correctly.
        And again, that’s not to say that every teen breaks up. I know two couples who started dating when they were in high school. But I just think it’s a good idea to wait. It’ll be worth it.

    2. Only one problem- guys CAN and WILL change for you, if they really care about you. Jerks or players won’t change. Guys can make changes a sure as girls can. That’s awfully harsh to say that guys will never change for you. I’ve known plenty who really have. After all, are you a guy?

      • I agree! I think she could have phrased it better, because yes, not all guys are jerks. There ARE guys out there who are genuine and will change. I think T.M. just wanted to stress that there are lots of guys who WON’T change so you have to be careful.

      • I agree with the list. Guys may temporarily change in a relationship, but when they’re done trying to impress you (like in marriage when you’re committed life-long), their old habits will come out. Guys can change, but stay away if they’re just changing for you and not for God or for themselves!

      • I agree. I think the list was a bit to hard on guys. Some guys are like this, but some are really great guys. However, it is true that some guys will SAY they’re going to change or even temporarily change, but it won’t last. The way to tell, I guess, is when you see fruits of their changes.

        • Hence my third paragraph. “Before you delve into this list, however, know that no two guys, whether they’re non-Christian or Christian, are the same. And not all boys fall into all of these scenarios. But even the best Christian guy falls into at least a few!!!” Thank you for your comment. Best and blessings, TMG

    3. This is a very accurate list. Someone must have actually experienced these things!! I will say that us girls need to be SO careful who we tie ourselves with. Even if we promise it’s a fling and not that important, our hearts get tied up with even the smallest enotional connection. And please heed my warning, ONLY date a guy who is following after God even more passionately than you are. If you are more passionate for Jesus than He is, I know from experience that it is really hard and even sad to be in that relationship. No matter what-ask GOD what He wants, who He wants, and when He wants you to date!

        • OMG…That is so “sexist”. Even if that was God’s plan… It’s still “sexist”. Thank you for your comment. 🙂

      • Wow! I LOVE your comment, especially the part where the guy should be following after God more than you. I agree with that because it makes me think of how God created relationships in the first place. God wants the men to be the head and women in submission (which isn’t a bad thing 🙂 ) ….Like Adam and Eve, God wanted Adam to take control and watch after Eve, his companion. How can a women be a man’s companion/partner if they don’t have a strong leader to follow? Thank you for your thoughts. 🙂

      • @FionaSista that’s not sexist, girls and guys are obviously different and have different roles in a relationship. Just because women are supposed to be submissive to their husbands doesn’t mean that they don’t have the same value. Equal does not mean the same. Equality is a measure of value whilst similarity is a measure of function.

    4. Why is this site so against guys and so judging? Girls mess up too. You’re acting like guys are just some dumb monkeys that’ll go for any girl in a corset or with their skirt just a few inches above their knees. Good gravy.

      • This article isn’t against guys at all. The point of the article is to provide girls with a better understanding of teenage boys, both good and bad qualities. It’s suppose to help us understand that, just like us, boys have their struggles, sins, and their “pros”. If anything, this article is supporting guys.

        • I agree with Blackstar24, this article is meant to show us that we aren’t the only ones struggling, boys are too! It does support boys, and it helps us to know how boys are struggling too and how we can help with those struggles.

    5. The guy I like just recently told me that he has a child already, and he’s 19. He said it right after he was (hopefully) joking about not getting married and not having kids and such, but he said it with such a serious face.

    6. I think that we should stop breaking the world into a binary, and realize that humans of all genders are more similar than different. Being a person can be tough, everyone struggles, everyone fears rejection and failure, sometimes people say things to get what they want, not everyone is interested in a long term relationship, etc. Teenage boys are not secret, mystical, incomprehensible creatures, they are simply people.

    7. Kiana Here!
      this is very helpful because I honestly had no idea about a few things on here. I have a crush that I like…sometimes… lol but yeah and he’s supposedly the most popular guy in school but I don’t like him because of that I like him because idk he may have a man’s body I know right wrong reason to like someone but yeah and and people like him to but my goal was to change him slowly but surely into like a gentleman and someone who knows how to treat a lady but after reading this info clearly it wont happen but we’re in high school.
      but don’t worry I have been praying daily for my future husband ;]

    8. Hi this is Hannah 🙂

      I agree with this list, but I don’t quite believe with #10. There has been so many stories, especially those told to Jason and Crystalina Evert where boys have changed because they want to be worthy of a girl. This is true with me. My boyfriend liked me and I him, but i seriously did not approve of his lifestyle. He hung out with the wrong crowd, he smoked, drank consistently, struggled with his faith, and did not do well in school because he just didn’t care. When he told me that he wanted to be with me, I set out the standards in front of him and gave him the ultimatum. He accepted it, and though i didn’t know for sure if he would keep his word, he has. We’ve been happily dating for 11 months now. His grades have improved, he doesn’t smoke anymore, he thinks before he acts, and trusts me with everything he worries about. I’ve convinced him to go to Catholic youth groups with me, and it has made so much the difference. He and I have made mistakes but we working together through God to make things right and give glory to him through our own actions! 🙂

      Zephaniah 3:17 -God is ALWAYS with us!!-

      • That’s great for you and your boyfriend Hannah! I, too, have met a boy whom I like and he likes me but I don’t totally agree with his lifestyle. He is a good person and he usually does the right thing. He goes to church and believes in God. I’m just worried that he’s not as devoted to God as I am. He sometimes uses curse words or makes inappropriate jokes. I don’t mean to sound arrogant but he just doesn’t seem as devoted as I am. Of course we’re all human and we all make mistakes. I just think that one day he’s going to have this realization of how great God is and he’s going to realize how he’s been living and totally give his life to God. I don’t know his internal struggles and this may have already happened. If it hasn’t already I hope it does soon. Sorry to bother you with my long reply. I just wanted to tell someone who might listen.

    9. I like this list. 🙂 Thank you. I especially like #9. That’s a really good way of putting it.
      It’s nice to be reminded that even though guys look all big and though, they still struggle with many of the same things girls do. 🙂 And we should dress modestly, so we don’t use their possible weakness against them.

    10. I really like this article. It actually raised my appreciation for guys, knowing that they’re struggling, too. It helped to step away from the stereotypes and realize that *ahem* immorality isn’t the ONLY thing on their minds. We girls aren’t the only ones finding it difficult living in today’s society! That being said, we need to choose our companions and partners carefully. And we need to remember that God already has someone picked out for each and every one of us! 🙂

    11. this is so wrong not all boys are like this. 5, 9 and 6 are making girls here think all boys want is sex sex sex and won’t respect you if you show much skin. that is wrong you are supposed to be helping these girls not telling them how to dress so boys will like them.

      • I totally agree! I don’t think that we can make all these sweeping statements about half of the world’s population. Though I’m sure most boys may be like this, all of them are still different, and there will be some that will respect you-not for your body, just for you.

        I appreciate that this article is trying to help us girls out, but in my opinion, there are better ways!

      • I don’t think that the article was saying that all every boy wants is sex. It said at the beginning that not all of the points apply to every boy. There are a lot of boys who struggle with sexual desires as well as boys who struggle with seeing girls dressed immodestly.This does not necessarily mean that all they want is sex. They may actually want to avoid sex but struggle with their desires. We as girls may not think about how we affect men when we’re dressed immodestly.

    12. I think this is pretty accurate. Guys and girls think differently; take some psychology classes in college and you’ll find this out very quickly. Also, read Song of Solomon. You can see how differently the lovers compare each other.

    13. Reading the book “Every Young Womans Battle” was very helpful to show me how to stay sexually pure and understand boys and relationships better, if you are struggling with some stuff then i definetly reccomend giving this book a read.

    14. I have a great friend who happens to be a guy. I have known his family for an extremely long time but we only became friends about this last septemberish. He is the most knowledgeable young man I have ever met. But it was interesting to me to here his side of things. Boys do get insecure. Got to admit it sometimes girls can give guys the hardest time ever….I know because I used to a lot! But I was realizing when we were talking how not beneficial this is for them. We are always saying how mean guys are to us but we hurt guys too. I think that sometimes we forget that just because boys don’t always show their emotions doesn’t mean that they don’t have them. Being accepted is hard for everybody.

    15. When I first started going to my church (4 years ago, I was 13), there was this boy that caught my attention. I knew then that I wanted to get to know him more. His brother and himself started coming to youth. I eventually found out his name and got to know him a little better. I knew there was something about him that was different from other guys. I’ve had a crush on him ever since. Just last year, he actually ended up telling me he liked me too!!! I was SOOOO beyond happy, I couldn’t believe it! But after a few months and 1 date, he started falling off from talking to me. I didn’t know what I had done wrong, I was heartbroken. Him and I are just now starting to become friends again after about a year, I still see him twice a week at church. His friend tells me he thinks he still likes me but idk what to think, and now my best friend likes him. I tell people I don’t like him and I want my friend to be happy but it’s hard explaining that no matter what, I still believe that God put him in my life for a reason. He was my first love and that will never change.

    16. Last year when I was in seventh grade I met this one guy. We started to talk a little, but that later that turned into talking all the time, then we became best friends. But he had this other girl that was his friend before I was, she didn’t like me because she thought that me and him were spending too much time together. I was recently in a relationship with someone at that time and my best friend got really jealous and told me later that day that he was going to ask me out, I felt so sad and sorry not knowing that he had a crush on me. Later that week it was my birthday, so my best friend took me out to go eat pizza and skate. It was totally fun, that was the day he met my mom, my mom said that he was a good kid and that she really didn’t mind me hanging out with him. That night we were talking on the phone and he had asked me how was I doing with my relationship, I had told him that we were no longer together and I never worked out. It was almost summer break so he made me do this promise of me not going out with anyone over summer break and he would ask me out next year(8th grade). So now we are in 8th grade and he still hasn’t asked me out. The bad thing is we don’t talk anymore. The girl he was friends with before me, told him that I wasn’t good and told him a whole bunch of lies about me to try to get him away from me, I guess it worked. But now that he’s gone I love him. I guess I just didn’t have enough time to think about us going out when we were friends. I honestly miss him and he knows all my secrets and he knows mine. I just wish I can have him back, but I don’t think he likes me anymore.
      Sorry if this was too long I just wanted to share my experience with you guys and be carful with the people who love you, because you might just lose them one day. Thank you for reading and listening to my problem. 🙂

      • Omg, almost the same thing happened to me I’m also in 8th grade now and I miss my ex-boyfriend so much yes it sounds pathetic but me and him were best friends and he ended up asking me out and I made the mistake of saying yes and now we broke up because of his best friend who “liked” me and was jealous that me and him were dating and now he ignores me and I miss him so much, but don’t worry I know its not easy trust me but don’t wait around for him you will find someone that will honestly like you for you. You seem super nice and your pretty so you have nothing to worry about. Good luck!:) Thanks!

    17. If u are 13 don’t trust boys I think that they just want a gf so they look cool…. U might be lucky if you are 13 and finds a boy that really LOVES you!!!!!!! Stay true to yourself ……just remember you are beautiful 😉 I love ya! Jesus loves u and made u how u are for a reason!!!!!!!!!!!!! — daisy <3

    18. I love how you worded this line:

      “Guys are physically attracted to immodesty and emotionally attracted to modesty.”

      I was talking about this subject with some friends not that long ago. How, yes, guys may pay attention to girls who dress immodestly but they do not respect them. It was short, sweet, and to the point! 🙂

    19. 9.Guys are physically attracted to immodesty and emotionally attracted to modesty.

      I found this out about 3 months before me and my now-boyfriend started dating. He liked spending time around me and we had a lot of fun, even though I didn’t care much about how I dressed and always wore a T-shirt and jeans. However, after we started dating I’d wear a more…flattering shirt, I dunno, cause I thought he might like it. Truth is, he acts very uncomfortable if I’m immodestly dressed! I love how he respects me and doesn’t like it when I don’t respect myself.

    20. My bf, I didnt have to ask him to change, when he realized he wanted to be with me he changed a few months bf he asked me out. and we have been togther a year and marriage is a common topic with us

    21. I think this a very good list, and it shouldn’t be taken as degrading to boys, because things like this happen when you’re a teen. It’s nice to have these things in mind when dealing with a guy; great list!

    22. This list is very true. Wish I had seen it back in the day! But now I have a wonderful, loving, boyfriend who is also a Christian and we have been together for about 2 1/2 years! 🙂 ♥

    23. I know what you mean! I met this guy, and we really had alot in common. We talked for a while, and I thought I was in love. I haven’t seen him since and I really miss him. ;(
      We just talked about school and stuff. Later I prayed about him because I don’t know if he is a christian 🙁

      • No that’s not true lol. But everything she said was completely accurate. First off, you don’t want to try to “get a guy to love you” that’s just plain wrong. you cant be looking for love (because trust me, most likely, you WONT find it. That always happens when you LOOK for love instead of letting it fall into your life) Love is going to happen when you least expect it, when you least want it, and in the best way. 🙂 My fiance found me right before I left for college so obviously I did not want that at all!! Especially right before I left for UNT and he UT. Both are 5 hours away from each other. But we fell in love. We did silly things together like flying kites, watching the stars, chasing each other in Chili’s parking lots (haha!) And it was all so amazing. We made it for a year and a half without being together all the time and I eventually transferred to UT to b a teacher and here we are at UT together planing our wedding for next year 🙂
        However, I made a lot of mistakes in the past and dated the “bad boy” image constantly. When I finally found what God wanted me to find, I was scared and I didn’t want it to happen because of my bad relationships in the past. This is why the person that you want to date should be the person you see yourself with in the future. I hope his wasn’t too random and I hope it will encourage you to make the right decisions and to guard your heart until you KNOW that person is the right one 🙂

    24. My boyfriend..actually ex now and I were together for about 7 months.. there were several things he said he would change that he knew I disagreed with. Honestly at first he tried..but he couldn’t do it. He still likes me and of course feelings of my own dont just disappear over night but I realized that I need someone who is going to help me grow in my spiritual life and not drag me down. (: love this!

    25. Ugh could not be more true. Guys are so confusing and completely dense! I’m pretty good friends with this guy who I’ve liked for a while, and I recently got up the nerve to ask him to hang out, because we don’t really hang out outside of school. That was way out of my comfort zone in the first place. He got all weird about it and just started joking about how he’s not too social outside of school. Like, really! Do I have to spell it out for him!? Apparently.

    26. I had a youth leader that explained how a guy’s mind is easily lusted, and how this particular guy (her husband) resisted temptation. It’s not just in teens. It’s how men’s brains work.
      And as for teens, it’s good to keep in mind that they aren’t dating to look for a wife! (of course) 🙂 I had an acquaintance that was so upset that her boyfriend of nearly a year broke up with her because he wasn’t ready for such a long, serious relationship. I wanted to tell her that that’s how dudes’ work, and you can’t change that, but there was no way I could.
      These are all things that I need to remember! Thanks for writing this post!

    27. I agree with everything except the part about how boys are not interested in long term relationships. To some extent, that’s true but I can think of quite a few fellas in my life right now that are, in fact, interested in long term relationships. Actually, they have talked to me about how they feel weird for not being like all the other boys in their life who want to date to have fun instead of finding their soul mate. So, yes, most boys aren’t looking for a long term relationship, but we shouldn’t forget about the few boys who are. 🙂

    28. Yeah. Try ma brother and ma best friend are an example.
      They need time and patience and understanding and Gods word yo become great men.
      I’ve had most of my best friend as boys so I know exactly what you mean. From the time I was young I hear thier complaints in how a gal dresses on how their future wife should be and so on bt mostly they try to fit in and it hurts but its good to know we are all in the same boat.
      Shout out to all the boys even though they aren’t here.. Imagine a world without them…eeek

    29. I am homeschooled and theres this guy in my homeschool group who I am good friends with. I admire him alot and he is a christian and it really shows. Im a year older than him, and im in 9th grade. But I want to remain just friends for a long time. Im not trying to pursue anything more than a friendship, because im proud of what we have now. And besides, im not ready for a relationship past friends. I cant seem to avoid the occasional romantic thought about him becahse im human. But im just happy hes in my life as a good friend and terrified for the end of the schoolyear when i wont see him as much!!

      • Hi, I here you with that. I was also homeschooled and I understand admiring other christians. I am glad that you are waiting because most think we are very isolated. May I suggest that you may want to start a list of waht you want in a husband now. Then you can pray for him and you will know what you want before you date.

    30. This is a pretty good list but there are some misconceptions listed here. Here’s the couple I noticed:
      5. Many aren’t interested in long-term relationships
      Just like with girls, some aren’t and some are. The best thing to do is to ask them and talk about what you’re getting in to as soon as you start dating them! Also, he may think you want a long term relationship just because you are a girl, and this isn’t necessarily the case either. Always, always always talk about what you both want out of the relationship up front. If this seems too awkward, this is a warning sign that you probably aren’t ready for a relationship with this person
      8. They may be easily tempted
      They are just as easily tempted as you. The only reason their temptation is more apparent is because society teaches us that it’s acceptable for boys to give in to their temptations, but unacceptable for girls to. Don’t assume boys are always looking to score, but also don’t let the ‘boys will be boys’ attitude excuse them from their behavior
      9. Guys are physically attracted to immodesty and emotionally attracted to modesty.
      Just like girls, different guys have different preferences. The most important thing is to find a guy that respects you however you dress, and that understands you are ultimately in control of your own body and that what you want to wear is not always his business. This is important, because many unhealthy, controlling relationships begin when the boy begins to tell the girl how to dress and act ‘modestly.’

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