Let me tell you a secret: I just graduated from high school, and–wait for it–I have never been on a date! That’s right. I’m 18 years old, and I have never gone on a date, let alone had a boyfriend.
While I realize there are many girls out there who choose early in their teenage years to not date until a certain age, maybe until they’re in college, that was not the case for me. In fact, if you had asked me four years ago if I thought I would make it through high school without dating anyone, I probably would have laughed and said, “No way!” I thought for sure I would have a guy come into my life during my high school years and sweep me off my feet, even if it was just for a short time.
But that didn’t happen, and it took me a long time to accept the fact that only God knew who and when I needed to date. It took even more time to be comfortable with it.
Being single in a society where even 9-year-olds are talking about their exes and boyfriends can be really hard. You’re pressured into thinking that you’re not cool or even normal if you’ve never dated, and that can cause you to make decisions you will regret later on in life. There were two guys I came close to dating during high school. Each time I thought “surely this is the one!” But for some reason neither of those relationships grew into anything worthwhile.
When I would tell people that I was single, I would get, “What?! But you’re so pretty!” as a response. They didn’t understand it, and neither did I. I didn’t understand how all of my friends and even the girls I counseled at a middle school camp had boyfriends, and there I was, just me.
At some point during my junior year, I realized that it was perfectly okay for me to not be in a dating relationship. I realized that as long as I wasn’t dating anyone, I wouldn’t have to worry about going through the tough breakups that my friends went through. I wouldn’t have an ex that I absolutely hated. And when I got married, I wouldn’t have to regret wasting my emotions on high school flings.
Now I look back at those two relationships I desperately wanted to work out and see that I got exactly what I needed. Neither of those guys were the type I want or need to hold my heart, and had things actually gotten serious, they would not have been the type of relationships God wants me to have.
If you’re a girl like me, one who is still waiting for that first love, I want to encourage you to make the most of your wait. While you’re not emotionally attached to any guy, take a piece of paper and write down the qualities you want in your future husband, so when a guy does come around you can see if he is the guy you want to spend your life with. You can also pray for him. Life is really hard for young guys, and both of you will become stronger if you are praying for your future husband and the relationship the two of you will share.
At times you will get desperate, but don’t settle for anything less than the man that God has for you, and you will be able to look back at these years without regrets.
Romans 8:28 says, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.”
Written by PI Girl Molly
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