• News From Nicole
More

    3 Things to Do If You Struggle to Forgive

    “Forgive, as God in Christ has forgiven you.”

    These words are repeated throughout the New Testament. Over and over again we are reminded that forgiveness is part of following Christ. It’s a supernatural act, one beyond human ability. To forgive another person is to effectively acquit them of a debt they owe use—an emotional, physical or mental debt. This is incredibly hard.

    It’s natural to struggle with forgiveness because we want to hold onto what others have done to us. But there is a deep truth woven into the gospel, the same gospel that offers us eternal life and salvation—and this truth requires that we forgive.

    The truth? God has forgiven us more than we could ever forgive others. Here are three things to remember about forgiveness.

       

    1. Remember What Forgiveness Is

    If you struggle to forgive, the first step is to remember what forgiveness is. It is not reconciliation. It’s not restoration to the relationship you had before. These things may follow forgiveness, or they may not. Sometimes it’s not wise or healthy to restore a relationship with someone who hurt you. It’s possible to forgive someone without staying in close proximity to them.

    When we forgive, we release the person from their debt to us. We release them to God’s justice. I don’t know about you, but thinking about forgiveness in that context makes me feel like something is actually being done. Just saying “I forgive you” often feels empty, like the offender is getting off without a consequence. But when we forgive, we’re committing someone to the justice of God, who is the only righteous Judge. This frees us to love and show kindness because God will take care of the rest.

       

    2. Remember How God Has Forgiven You

    Ephesians 4:31-32 says: “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with all forms of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, as God in Christ has forgiven you.”

    God has removed our sins as far as the east is from the west. He died so we could have a hope and a future! That’s pretty incredible. When we realize just how much it cost the Lord to reconcile our sins, we are much quicker to show grace to others. Forgiveness springs from a heart that knows just how much it has been forgiven. As Beth Moore once said, “Those who live under grace, give grace.”

       

    3. Remember That Forgiveness Is a Process

    Forgiveness, like many spiritual acts, is not a one-time thing. You may have to decide to forgive many, many times—even for the same person! Sometimes you will have to forgive without that person even repenting to you. Once again, the key is to commit the person to God’s justice instead of trying to work justice out on your own.

       

    Seeing forgiveness as a process, not just a singular choice, can help you give grace over periods of time. Difficult people will always be in our lives. Hurts will happen, even within the church. But we can show grace because God has shown grace to us! In Christ, we forgive. He strengthens us to do so.

    Phylicia Masonheimer
    Phylicia Masonheimerhttps://phyliciamasonheimer.com/
    Phylicia Masonheimer is an author and speaker teaching women how to discern what is true, discuss the deep stuff, and accomplish God's will for their specific lives. She holds a B.S. in Religion from Liberty University, where she met her husband, Josh, and now lives in northern Michigan with her two daughters, Adeline and Geneva.

    Project Inspired

    We here at Project Inspired want to guide and inspire teen girls to be true to themselves and to God. We want to show young girls how to be people of value and confidence – how to be your own best selves – through leading a Christian life. Who are we? We're a team of girls, like you. We edit the site, we post to social media, we hang out in the chat rooms and forums. We talk with you, we listen to you, and we love you!

    Read On

    Joyce Meyer Says the Faith and Prayer of Her 2-Year-Old Great-Grandson Healed His Mom

    Christian speaker, author, and preacher Joyce Meyer says that the faith of her 2-year-old grandson healed his mom when she was experiencing pain. In a...

    5 Distinctions Between Behavioral Modification and Heart Transformation

    Here at Project Inspired, we are passionate about discussing today’s culture and the effect it has on us as believers. It’s not always easy,...

    How to Set Yourself Up for a Productive Fall

    It’s hard to believe we are talking about the turn of seasons, but crisp air and school days are just around the corner! As...

    How to Encourage Your Boyfriend’s Spiritual Leadership

    We often talk about spiritual leadership only in the context of men: Husbands, boyfriends, fathers and sons are called to be “spiritual leaders,” and...

    Be the Friend You Wish You Had: 4 Principles to Keep in Mind

    We are living in an increasingly isolationist time and culture in which many are finding it hard to find friends and pursue community. Things...

    Subscribe!

    Stay connected with Project Inspired.