Living single is a wonderful time of journeying with God as He refines us in our calling. However I’ve often encountered a few assumptions frequently made about single Christians that should probably be clarified, because this stage of life isn’t always so black-and-white. Here are three things we should stop assuming about our single brothers and sisters.
1. Being single means God still hasn’t sent “The One” because you’re not spiritually ready.
We hear it over and over again: “God will send you ‘The One’ when you’re spiritually ready.” It’s the idea that God will reward us with a spouse once we’ve proven to him that we’ve reached a superior level of faith consistently. One would assume, then, that those who are married achieved some level of faith that single people haven’t, so single people have some more growing to do before they can get there, too. The truth is that personal growth and spiritual development are things we work through all of our lives, regardless of our relationship status. If anything, marriage is the union of two sinners who have the gospel challenge of growing through their flaws together with Christ at the center.
2. Desiring marriage or a relationship means you’re not satisfied enough in God.
It’s a perfectly natural desire to want to find someone to share your life with and be married. Even God said that it’s not good for man to be alone (Genesis 2:18) because we are wired for human relationships. Within the single journey there may be times of feeling lonely, especially when we are void of genuine and meaningful intimacy for some time. This doesn’t mean that you’re not fulfilled enough in God. It’s a part of the human experience. The good news is we can navigate these moments in healthy ways. Here are 5 ways to make alone time the best time ever.
3. Single means available.
At the same time, not everyone who’s single is on the market for a relationship or currently desiring marriage. There are many of our brothers and sisters who are using this time to focus on how God is growing them in this current season. This is a healthy pursuit, especially for those who may be recovering from a history of unhealthy relationships. Give them the space and timing to let God do what He needs to do in them.
Not all of these assumptions are necessarily false, either. Yes, we need to prepare ourselves spiritually for marriage. Yes, we want to turn to God instead of a man to fill our voids. The whole point is that we take the time to ask our single brothers and sisters where they are instead of assuming where they need to be based on their relationship status. Amen?
Are there any assumptions you’ve heard about being single that you’d like to see cleared up?