I am the confident girl. Ever since I was young I’ve been applauded for my confidence. But what most people don’t know is that I struggle with insecurity.
All of us have things we aren’t secure about—things we don’t like about ourselves, questions that remain unsettled, uncertainty about how we’re perceived. I am no different. I have always been good at covering my insecurity with confidence, and, when in an unhealthy place, condescension. As I have grown in my walk with the Lord, He has brought me great freedom in this area. I have learned to recognize the lies of insecurity and—though they still come at me—head them off with God’s truth.
Your first step to overcoming insecurity is acknowledging these lies. They aren’t harmless thoughts. They are dangerous to your faith and to your ministry. You are called to minister to others and you cannot do this effectively from a place of insecurity!
Here are five lies I fight as soon as they enter my mind.
1. Everyone is judging you.
You know those girls with a “resting mean face”? I can almost promise you it’s due to insecurity. I know because I’ve done it. When you fear that everyone around you is judging you, you’ll face the world with defensive anger. You have to protect yourself. You have to look unapproachable to stay safe.
It’s sad, really, because most of the time no one is thinking about us at all. But the lie tells us that everyone is cruel, that they are judging us “not enough,” when in reality that’s mostly our own mind talking.
So don’t believe the lie. Everyone is NOT judging you. Most aren’t even looking at you! The only One who matters has judged you righteous by the blood of Christ. That is more than enough—enough to bring joy to our faces! We can smile at anyone, judging or not, because we are at peace with the One who matters.
2. You’re not enough.
You know the inner critical voice: You’re not skinny enough. You’re not pretty enough. You’re not smart enough. You’re not cool enough. Guess what? This doesn’t end in college. It doesn’t end when you get married. It never ends as long as you believe the lie in your own mind.
There will always be another group of people who make you feel “not enough” if you let them. The key? Don’t let them. It’s our own mind, when full of unbiblical, ungodly thoughts, that leads us to embrace not-enoughness. Who cares if someone thinks you’re “not enough” because of your clothes? You were enough for God to send His son to die. He sent everything He had because He loved you, and the rest of us, enough to do so.
3. You’re too much.
Oh, how I struggle with this. I am a high-capacity person and I do a lot each day. I’m an extrovert and I own a business. Combined, I feel like “too much” for most women. I feel like I have to stop being myself or tone myself down to have true friendship. What a lie! My truest friends see me for who I am and embrace me anyway.
Letting God into my spirit, to tell me who I really am, shows me how to be myself with grace. Fellow “too much” girls, let Jesus tell you where you need more grace. Then just be yourself. If you’re “too much” for some people, they will find different friends.
4. You will be rejected.
I fear being “too much” because of this: I don’t want to be rejected. Don’t we all fear being treated with contempt? It’s one of the most heart-wrenching experiences, and we never forget it.
But even if people on this earth reject us, we have a promise in Jesus. When we devotedly follow Him, we are secure. We are in His love forever. We cannot be rejected because Christ has covered us. Isn’t that incredible?
5. It’s too late for you.
Insecurity tells us we are too late. We are too late married. Too late getting our degree. Too late for redemption after we’ve sinned sexually.
But God says never too late. He is a Redeemer and a Restorer who builds up the ruins and replaces ashes with beauty. What a God we serve!
Replace the lies with truth
Reject the lies of insecurity when they come. Don’t sit with them, invite them in and offer them coffee. REJECT THEM. They are not from the Lord! Instead, get in the Word of God and preach that Word to your heart. Ask the Lord to show you where you need His truth most. Pour out your insecurities to Him and let Him replace them with His presence. This happens as you persevere in prayer.
Insecurity sneaks up on you, so be on guard. It assaults all of us in seasons. But we are not required to live with it and embrace it—we are able to overcome it by replacing lies with truth.