• Relationships
  • News From Nicole
More

    5 Questions to Ask Before Taking Back an Ex

    Are you debating whether or not to take back your ex? Maybe you’ve been “talking” since the breakup or hanging out in the name of “closure.” Your emotions haven’t disappeared; in fact, they’ve become stronger. Maybe breaking up was a bad idea after all!

    Before you jump back into the relationship, take time to consider all the angles. Relationships are hard, and breakups are even harder. It’s difficult to make a decision when you are emotionally compromised. So as you decide what to do next, ask yourself the following five questions.

    1. Am I in a healthy emotional state? Breakups put us in a mental and emotional state that colors our view of the past, present and future—especially in relationships. We tend to romanticize the past, resent the present and forget the future. Before jumping back into a relationship, we should honestly ask ourselves: “Am I in the emotional state to make a decision like this?” It may be wiser (and usually is) to take a few weeks or months away from the decision and revisit after getting counsel.

    2. Am I ignoring major red flags? In our haste to get back into a relationship, we can also ignore warning signs. I’ve done this myself! We have to be honest about WHY we broke up in the first place—or, if you were broken up with, what about our partner led him to that decision. Is his character the kind that a quality relationship could be built on? If not, what red flags are you ignoring in your desire to reconnect?

    3. Am I glamorizing the past? This is a tough one. Hindsight is 20/20—unless you recently broke up with someone you love! Without sufficient time and space to see the past accurately, we can glamorize the past. We glaze over the bad parts and romanticize the good. We focus on the beautiful moments, forgetting the reasons we broke up at all. Be honest with yourself about the past; yes, there may have been some good, but even a little good doesn’t mean it’s time to get back together.

    4. Is this the best choice for my future? Think long-term: Would getting back together, dating longer and potentially marrying this person be the best decision for your future? And don’t just consider your life; consider your family, his family, your friends and your future family. Is this the kind of person you truly want to build a life with? His every decision will affect yours. Consider seriously if this person will lead you on a path that is promising.

    5. Would God honor this decision? Last but not least, would getting back together with your ex honor God? Will you be able to thrive in your relationship with Him while pursuing this human relationship? If not, keep your distance.

    I know this isn’t easy. Everything in you might be longing for an excuse to get back together, to stop the pain. But keep a long-term view, ask yourself honest questions, and be okay with waiting on God when life doesn’t make sense.

    Phylicia Masonheimer
    Phylicia Masonheimerhttps://phyliciamasonheimer.com/
    Phylicia Masonheimer is an author and speaker teaching women how to discern what is true, discuss the deep stuff, and accomplish God's will for their specific lives. She holds a B.S. in Religion from Liberty University, where she met her husband, Josh, and now lives in northern Michigan with her two daughters, Adeline and Geneva.

    Project Inspired

    We here at Project Inspired want to guide and inspire teen girls to be true to themselves and to God. We want to show young girls how to be people of value and confidence – how to be your own best selves – through leading a Christian life. Who are we? We're a team of girls, like you. We edit the site, we post to social media, we hang out in the chat rooms and forums. We talk with you, we listen to you, and we love you!

    Read On

    Joyce Meyer Says the Faith and Prayer of Her 2-Year-Old Great-Grandson Healed His Mom

    Christian speaker, author, and preacher Joyce Meyer says that the faith of her 2-year-old grandson healed his mom when she was experiencing pain. In a...

    5 Distinctions Between Behavioral Modification and Heart Transformation

    Here at Project Inspired, we are passionate about discussing today’s culture and the effect it has on us as believers. It’s not always easy,...

    How to Set Yourself Up for a Productive Fall

    It’s hard to believe we are talking about the turn of seasons, but crisp air and school days are just around the corner! As...

    How to Encourage Your Boyfriend’s Spiritual Leadership

    We often talk about spiritual leadership only in the context of men: Husbands, boyfriends, fathers and sons are called to be “spiritual leaders,” and...

    Be the Friend You Wish You Had: 4 Principles to Keep in Mind

    We are living in an increasingly isolationist time and culture in which many are finding it hard to find friends and pursue community. Things...

    Subscribe!

    Stay connected with Project Inspired.