5 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Date a Nonbeliever (Besides the Obvious)
Written by T.M. Gaouette | February 3, 2015
God’s plan for humanity is evident in the lessons that we’re taught in scripture. It describes man and woman coming together in marriage (Ephesians 5:31) and the two creating a Godly family (Ephesians 6:4) that comes to know, love and serve Him. The children in this family go on to do the same, marrying and having children and creating Godly families (Proverbs 22:6). God’s plan for us is to flourish and live good lives, devoted to Him and His will (Joshua 24:15). This family foundation is only possible when we first meet the person we will marry.
Why am I referring to marriage when this post is on dating? Well, I believe wholeheartedly that dating should be the first stage of marriage.
Why shouldn’t we date nonbelievers? Well, here are five reasons!
- God won’t be the center of your relationship. God should be the center of everything, including a relationship. Couples and families are supposed to pray together. It’s what keeps the union strong. Imagine dating someone who doesn’t care for a hobby or an interest you’re passionate about. Don’t you want to share that hobby with the person you may spend the rest of your life with? Well, God should be at the top of your list of passions, and if the guy you date doesn’t care about the most important entity in your life, where will that lead?
- There’s no guarantee that a nonbeliever will become a believer. Oftentimes, we’re so in love with someone that we will set aside our differences, or worse, we’ll vow to change the guy, right? Wrong! Never plan to change any guy to fit you. Sure, maybe your faith will inspire him to find Christ, but what if it doesn’t? Then what? And even if he does find Christ, there’s no guarantee that he will become a devoted believer who desires to know, love and serve Christ as you do. There are more Christians in this world than there are true believers. Your guy may just become a Christian in name.
- It will be difficult to do God’s will with a nonbeliever. If we date nonbelievers, how is God’s will to be done together? You’ll have to do God’s work alone. You’ll feel uncomfortable talking about God and your guy may feel left out when you’re hanging with your Christian friends. When a couple is not fully devoted to God together, there may be disagreements or compromises about faith. But worse, a nonbeliever won’t support you in doing God’s will, and may even convince you to turn away from Christ altogether.
- Your own faith will weaken. It’s only natural, really. If you’re not with someone who will strengthen and support your faith, then you will have to do it on your own. And this won’t be easy. In some situations you’ll fight battles about going to church or doing youth group activities. If you marry a nonbeliever, you’ll fight about getting your guy to go to church or raising your children in the faith.
- Your marriage won’t be as successful as God intends it to be. If you, as a devoted believer, decide to marry a nonbeliever, your marriage won’t be focused on God. And when you’re not focused on God, your marriage will be a struggle.
The reality is that dating an unbeliever could result in marrying an unbeliever, and this may lead you to turn away from God. But more than that, you could end up turning away from God and raising children who will never know Him fully. Some of you may think that this is a long shot. Or that you would be different. But if you don’t prepare your life for success, it’s only going to be harder to attain.
God has His way. And life is hard as it is—you need God in it. So finding a true believer is a fundamental step in creating a more Godly life and family. Sure, it’s not a guarantee, but it’s more likely than if you choose to date and then marry a nonbeliever who has no desire to know, love or serve God, let alone encourage you—or teach your children—to believe in Him.
Ladies, have you ever considered dating a nonbeliever?