We’ve all been there: counting the days until the next social occasion where we’ll inevitably run into our crush. Just thinking about him makes your heart flutter!
Liking a guy is completely normal. God created us to desire relationships with people, including the marriage relationship. Because God is a relational God, He made us with an innate desire for companionship and intimacy.
But sometimes our desire for companionship gets out of hand. Our priorities get skewed, and what started as “just a crush” is no longer benefiting us spiritually or emotionally. If you’re thinking, “That might be me…,” here are five signs it’s time to move on from your crush.
1. He consumes your thoughts.
Yes, crushes are relatively harmless. And yes, we were designed to desire relationship. But when our desire for relationship outpaces our desire for God, we’ve got our priorities in the wrong order. Your thought life is the first thing to evaluate in circumstances like these.
How you think directly affects how you act. What you think about each day determines how you prioritize. If your mind is consumed with your crush, the next social event will be more important to you than time in God’s Word. You might sacrifice your family relationships in pursuit of a dating relationship. Or maybe you spend so much time daydreaming that you fall behind in your school and work commitments. Take control of your thought life by submitting your thoughts to the Lord and checking them against God’s Word. Nothing should come between you and Christ—not even the guy you like.
2. Your spiritual life is suffering.
When our thoughts get out of control—usually by fantasizing about a crush—we lose focus when studying God’s Word. What used to be a fruitful prayer time becomes an opportunity to daydream. If you struggle with this, it may be time to submit your dreams and desire to God—and then move on.
Your spiritual life is the most important factor in your dating relationship. Without a daily walk with God, you won’t have the confidence, strength or wisdom to have a healthy relationship with a man. If your spiritual life is suffering, take a break from your crush and concentrate on what you know God wants from you in this season.
3. It’s all you talk about with your friends.
Maybe your friends don’t mind dissecting everything your crush says. But if it’s all you talk about every time you’re together, they may grow distant and disinterested. You need your girlfriends in every season, but especially during your single years. They are your support as you make the big decisions about college, career, marriage and kids, and they’ll be with you a long time—if you treat them well! Instead of talking about your crush and analyzing his every interaction, take time to invest in your friendships so they can last for the long run.
4. He’s dating someone else.
This might seem obvious, but how many of us hold out hope even when we know a guy is off the market? Because of the false romances portrayed in movies, books and TV shows, some of us buy into the idea that if we only wait around long enough, our crush might come around.
The healthiest choice in this situation is simply to let the guy go. Our hearts tell us we have “emotional ownership” over people we like, but in reality, we don’t have that power. We need to respect the relationships of others and follow God’s leading into the calling on our own lives. In doing so, we grow in character and become a better version of who we’re called to be.
5. He doesn’t reciprocate your feelings.
Sometimes your crush simply doesn’t like you back. This kind of rejection stings; it hurts to know that someone doesn’t like you as much as you like them. But this can also be a blessing in disguise. Knowing the other person’s feelings frees you to clear your head, realign your heart and pursue your goals without distraction.
The desire for companionship may never go away completely, and that’s okay! Remember, God gave us these desires. It’s up to us to honor Him with those feelings. Our emotions are a vehicle to glorify God, and we do that best when we submit our thoughts, feelings and actions to His guidance and grace.