|   Log In

Christian Life

5 Signs Your Relationship Isn’t Going Anywhere

Ladies, has this ever happened to you? You have a crush on the sweet guy in one of your classes…and it turns out he likes you, too! You two officially start dating, but after a few weeks, reality sets in. Something about the relationship doesn’t feel quite right, but you just can’t put your finger on it, and you start wondering if your relationship is really going anywhere.

Does this sound familiar to you? No relationship is perfect, but the goal of dating should be to find The One, right? If your relationship isn’t going anywhere, can you recognize the signs?

Your relationship may not be going anywhere if:

  1. He doesn’t share your devotion to God. As a Christian, your ultimate desire should be to glorify God, but what if your boyfriend doesn’t share that desire? What if you feel like you’re constantly pushing him to go to church or youth group or to glorify God in his actions and deeds? If your boyfriend doesn’t share your devotion, then it will be really difficult to pursue your own relationship with God. You really need someone who can share that love for Christ in order to strengthen your walk with Him.
  2. It’s distracting you too much. Your boyfriend is, of course, going to have a prominent place in your life. But if you find you’ve been spending less time with your girlfriends, family, schoolwork and, most importantly, God in order to spend time with him, it’s a sign that your boyfriend may be distracting you from the meaningful people and activities in your life.
  3. You feel stressed out all the time. Relationships are a lot of work…but maybe you’re finding that your relationship with your boyfriend is just too much stress! Maybe you’re constantly emotional and upset. Maybe you argue all the time. Sure, no relationship is perfect, but when you argue more than you are happy and you feel anxiety about your relationship, then something’s definitely wrong.
  4. There’s just no communication. Communication is very important in any relationship. But if you and your boyfriend have a hard time communicating or being honest about your feelings, that’s a sign of trouble. Maybe he doesn’t seem concerned about your feelings or he refuses to discuss the future of your relationship. If you can’t talk, how can you know someone?
  5. You’re pushing boundaries you swore you never would. Temptation is something everyone struggles with. But if you’re finding that you’re getting closer and closer to a line you thought you’d never cross, it might be time for you to step back and re-evaluate your relationship.

If you find that most of the above are true for you and your relationship, it might be time to end it. Here’s how to do so gracefully.

Ladies, what do you think about the above list? Share your story…we love to hear from you!

Image: ThinkStock

POST A COMMENT

You must be logged in to post a comment.

26 Comments

  1. beautiful_ending

    Posted by beautiful_ending on January 21, 2015 at 23:05

    wow. that was a whack in the butt. you see, yesterday after school my boyfriend broke up with me. we both knew it needed to happen, but just didn’t want to say it. we had been dating for 2 and a half months, and that entire time we didn’t go on a single date. sure, we hung out, but not ever alone. I tried to get him to see a movie with me or something, but he always had something else going on. I think one of our mutual friends just forced us into dating (she’s very nosy) and it just kinda happened. before he asked me out, he wanted to kiss me. I refused, because I love the idea of waiting to have my first kiss until I know that he’s the one. I’m very glad I did so, because I would be a heck of a lot more heartbroken right now. I think he’s worse. he never held my hand while we were at school, and our friends didn’t realize we were dating for a few months. it was just a glorified friendship. reading this list, though, made me think really why this happened. he’s a believer, but isn’t that involved with his church or a bible study. I’m terrible at having my solo/quiet time, but I still love the Lord. we never talked, and really didn’t have anything in common besides school and band (he plays trombone and I’m in colorguard). I was always stressing that he never touched me, besides a few hugs a day (I think my love language is physical touch, so that killed me). this is really long, but I’m just here to show you how true this is. if you find yourself in a similar situation, do yourself a favor and back out of the relationship.

  2. LightInRuins

    Posted by LightInRuins on January 6, 2015 at 19:28

    Hey ladies, so any advice would be nice here. My current boyfriend and I were friends for about 6 -7 years and stayed that way through high school and up until now (my junior year of college). We’ve been dating for 8 months, long distance, but we see each other every 2 weeks for some days and we talk every day for hours. Everything has been great, up until recently.

    We pushed past some boundaries that I would’ve never imagining crossing before marriage. We talked about it and reaffirmed that it would stop, but we slipped another time. Some of the things that I believe are pushing the boundaries, he doesn’t see a problem with. We’re also not on the same level spiritually and that has been the one thing that truly bothers me. He believes but he doesn’t have a desire to grow in his relationship with God, at least not that I can see. I love him and I want to spend the rest of my life with him. But I’m worried that we’ll never truly be able to connect on a spiritual level and that scares me.

    Before we became a couple, I promised God that the next person I dated would be a man if God that held the same desire for God that I do. I don’t feel that I’ve kept it and I don’t want to give him up but I don’t want to let him go b/c we’re on two different levels. We’ve talked about this before and he said that he wants to grow and that he goes to church with me and prays with me b/c he wants to. I’m not sure if I should just let time take it’s course or let him go so he can grow on his own and me the same…Help, ladies?

    • Project Inspired

      Posted by Redeemedgirl20 on January 22, 2015 at 15:42

      Hi. Let me tell you as a sister on Christ and also a junior in college. I broke up with my boyfriend in November. For a few serious reasons, one of which he kept pushing the boundaries we had set. Also, just like your bf, he was willing to go farther than I was. I crossed some boundaries too.
      And if your bf has no desire to grow in Christ or he’s just doing those things for you, there’s no point. Would you rather have a guy who wants to know the Lord and will seek Him or a guy who’s just so-so about his relationship with God?
      Girl, these red flags are going off in my brain. I know it’s been a while since you posted this but I had to respond. It must be super hard cause yall have been friends for a while but if he truly cares about you, he will respect your boundaries and want to grow in Christ so he can be a better man. This relationship sounds like it needs to be over. I say all this in love. I pray this helps and this response isn’t too late for you.

  3. Project Inspired

    Posted by Kittykatbrat04 on August 24, 2014 at 13:06

    I just want to say, don’t ever go past boundaries that you have set for yourself in dating. If you haven’t set any, then get a piece of paper and write down what you want in a husband, what you want in yourself, and boundaries you don’t want to cross before marriage. Keep this and when you start dating, refer back to it. This is what I did but I crossed some boundaries. I had this guy over and he asked me if I wanted to have sex and i said no but he kept asking so I gave into him. I started to have sex with him but it hurt. I told him to stop, but he didn’t, until he was done.
    I’m telling y’all this because I don’t want it to happen to you. Don’t have sex until you’re married. There are a lot of things that could go wrong. You could get an std, or worse, you could get pregnant. I’m not saying pregnancy is a bad thing, it’s just better when you’re married. That’s what God designed sex for, for marriage. If you feel like you’ll never find someone or you’ll always be alone, stop those feelings by reading your Bible. We are never alone. God is always with us. I know you want to feel a guy’s arms around you, but that will happen at the right time; in God’s time.

  4. Project Inspired

    Posted by allisvanityunderthesun on July 2, 2014 at 23:44

    i dont know if anyone will read this, its my first time using this website, ive always read some of the articles, but never got to comment, and this one really hit me the most.
    well im not really good with the dating world. took me 18 years to date a guy, didnt work out. and i met someone on easter, i could say i thought it was love at first sight. anyways, we didnt last for like 2 months sadly, i know its silly, but i still ache till this day over him. he dumped me because i “caused stress”, i can say he was the one who was actually causing stress, because what bothered him, were his problems. he didnt like any male commenting on anything i posted, he was insecure, so hed bag on me to make himself feel better, in anyway, even education wise. ( he thought i was dumb i guess. ) he believes in God, he was actually an athiest at a moment from doubts, but got drawn back to God. although hes into science still. anyways, i know majority of the relationship perhaps was lust? i dont know ladies i need advice. he has tried dumping me before, but CRIED while i sat and comforted him, he didnt want to dump me, so id tell him stop overthinking the relationship so soon and be happy. i was happy. he said he loved me, and i mean the guy cried, he really was serious about being with me, he did care… he would just overthink. he said he liked the way i was, all for nature and down to earth. he let others opinions get to his head. especially his mother. anyways, he dumped me because i was also battling with depression. silly. and he told me the other day that hes basically not over it, and hes trying to focus on himself and his education, work, etc. so what doesnt click in my head is why did he dump me if he still wanted me in a sense. and he decided to say he didnt love me, i guess to convince himself. he was into modesty, more than any guy ive known. he was polite and mature, i just dont get what went wrong.. sorry i had to vent.

    • Project Inspired

      Posted by Kittykatbrat04 on August 24, 2014 at 12:42

      I’m sorry to hear you go through that. It sounds like he had a lot of insecurities and it’s better that you are not with him if he got jealous of guys leaving comments. It also sounds like he has a lot of growing up to do if he says that you caused him stress over little things like that, but then again I don’t know either of you. And it sounds like he battled with depression because of him crying when he tried to break up with you? It sounds like you weren’t really happy in the relationship because of him “bagging” on you. It is never okay for someone to put you down even if you were wrong. And it doesn’t even sound like you were in this situation.
      Its okay to still ache over the relationship. I still ache over a relationship that ended two years ago. Take your time getting over him, don’t move on til you’re ready, and trust that God will bring you the right person for you.

  5. PureLife

    Posted by PureLife on May 7, 2014 at 12:11

    Is pushing boundaries you thought you’d never cross really his fault though? In my opinion, it’s your own fault. My boyfriend is everything I could have asked for, and we think we will get married. There have been so many God winks. I’m not stuck on that vision because I don’t know God’s exact plan, but I truly feel he will be my husband. I have pushed boundaries I thought I never would, and I haven’t heard a voice in my head saying what I’m doing is wrong, and if I do hear it, I stop. I will not have sex before marriage though. He is very respectful of that. You draw your own boundaries. What you’re doing isn’t wrong unless you get a voice in your head or a gut feeling.

    • Godsbabygirl2007

      Posted by Godsbabygirl2007 on May 7, 2014 at 18:39

      It can be either party’s fault. I had a guy I really did care for very deeply that pushed my boundaries and just kept pushing. I ended up doing something I regret because I didn’t want to have him upset with me. I wasn’t even dating him, I WANTED to date him. Lesson learned: When you have set a boundary in your heart, follow it, stick to it or you will regret what happens. Don’t let yourself get caught up in the heat of the moment.

  6. fire4God

    Posted by fire4God on May 5, 2014 at 18:29

    Ha! I am the one reading this, but this is what my friend needs to hear. Shes been dating this one guy for about two months now. All of these are true for them. But the wrist part is, she is only 14 and is like obsessed with marrying him. This happened with her last boyfriend too… ah the joys of dating…

    • cricket___

      Posted by cricket___ on June 9, 2014 at 09:29

      I have come to the conclusion that all 14 and 15 year olds (including myself) are insufferable, especially when it comes to boys. We are just hormonal. I have promised myself not to date anyone or move forward with anyone until I stop wanting to be with EVERYONE.

  7. Project Inspired

    Posted by KaylaGrace18 on April 26, 2014 at 19:26

    Hey Girls! I don’t know how many of you will read this or if you do whether you will take what I say to heart but even if one of you does it is worth sharing this. I had been best friends with a guy for 9 years an amazing guy who I thought was a strong Christian. As soon as he asked me out I realized he didn’t treasure his relationship with God as much as I did, our communication went down to almost nothing and it stressed me out insanely. He then began pushing boundaries that we had discussed when we started dating, but I stayed until I left for college. After that boy and I finally broke up (because I had pushed boundaries, when I found out he cheated with my best friend it hurt a lot more) I started dating a boy at my college, a small extremely strict (not necessarily a bad thing) school. We had talked for a while, but one day he asked me to meet him off campus which was against the rules, I made the mistake of doing that and while we were at Walmart he kissed me. That may not seem like a lot, but we both got kicked out of school. We continued talking, although we didn’t have the best communication, because he “didn’t know how to talk to someone he liked” but he was talking about us getting married when he did talk to me. Then he asked me to send him pictures. I wish I had seen the signs earlier because I could have saved myself and him a lot of pain. When I did break it off with him it was hard, I wasn’t sure if I would ever find someone else who would love me. About a month later I realized that my relationship with God was the only one I needed to focus on that much and that any relationship with out him at the center wasn’t worth it. Girls trust him to lead you to the right guy at the right time. Jeremiah 29:11 tells us he not only knows his plan for us but that it is not to cause us harm. Trust him, and listen to the warnings others give to you. I wish I had.

    • Godsbabygirl2007

      Posted by Godsbabygirl2007 on May 7, 2014 at 18:41

      Amen, I feel you sister. I went through something similar…waited on this guy for 3 years..ended up doing things I regretted with him and I can’t change what I did, but I can learn from them and stand stronger in my boundaries.

  8. Trinity

    Posted by Trinity on April 25, 2014 at 19:33

    Number 5 is so true ladies! Even if he doesn’t physically force himself on you, if you keep having to say no after you’ve already sat down and established the rules and he keeps trying to go there, back out fast! You may lose him, but he was never worth having and it’s always better than losing yourself.
    Another one that should be mentioned is that he should be willing to pray with you. It may sound dorky but at the beginning of your relationship ask him to pray with you to bless the relationship. If he won’t or tries to sidestep it get out before you get serious with the guy.

  9. ambersky

    Posted by ambersky on April 25, 2014 at 18:27

    I agree completely

  10. Project Inspired

    Posted by on March 3, 2014 at 14:51

    wow! I’d be sure to remember those when i start dating.

  11. Musician4Life

    Posted by Musician4Life on February 17, 2014 at 18:53

    I agree 100% with this… I was in a relationship for 9 months before I finally came to terms with the fact that I had totally lost myself. Sure, the guy was a nice “Christian” guy, but I was dating him behind my parents back, after they told me I could never see him again (he was 5 years older), my depression and self harm were raging, and I was allowing him to talk about my body and things he would do with me that make me feel ashamed now. All because I thought I loved him and he loved me. I’m now back in church, a month and a half clean of cutting and have a purity ring. Girls, NEVER compromise for a guy no matter how much you think he loves you. Look for a Godly guy and keep your standards and remind yourself that no guy is worth losing yourself.

    • kate800

      Posted by kate800 on March 2, 2014 at 15:11

      I totally know how you feel. Most of the time I was dating my boyfriend I was doing things that I even TOLD him in the beginning I wasn’t going to do, leaving me feel dirty and ashamed. I was being tempted to do things behind my parents’ backs, and I was more in love than I had ever been.
      And yeah, I cut myself over him too. I struggled with a self-harm addiction for a lot of things, but he was the primary reason why I started in the first place…the only difference is that you’re a month and a half clean from cutting and I’m 11 days clean. It makes me happy that you had the courage to come back to God and gives me hope for my own future. Thanks for sharing your story.

      • Musician4Life

        Posted by Musician4Life on April 25, 2014 at 20:50

        Thanks for sharing too, and stay strong! I know it’s hard but I also I know you have the strength to overcome anything with God’s help. I’ll be praying for you! <3

  12. atla_bee

    Posted by atla_bee on February 17, 2014 at 09:34

    I noticed the signs after a year, but I didn’t listen and I stubbornly stayed with him. It ended up working out in the end, but getting there took years and years and years (5 to be exact) of hard, tough stuff. Years and years of prayers, years of tears, years of feeling used and guilty. Looking back, I wish I would have listened to God, it would have made this road a lot easier.

  13. Project Inspired

    Posted by mcasta32 on February 14, 2014 at 21:22

    I am in a relationship right now and I don’t know what to do. I am with a guy who is really sweet, respectful, cute, adorable, and has great christian values,he is amazing I really feel lucky to have meet him, but we are struggling right now to communicate I have noticed that we defiantly have troubles communicating and I really like him. He really is a great guy and I don’t want to give up yet in our relationship, because we just started seeing each other a month ago. Is it wrong that I don’t wont to give up yet on our relationship? any advice on what I can do?

    • Musician4Life

      Posted by Musician4Life on February 17, 2014 at 18:44

      Sometimes it helps to talk about it. If it’s earlier in your relationship, you’re still trying to see how to work with each other. And guys are especially bad with communication… Most are anyways. Just talk to him about whatever you’re having a problem with, he’s your boyfriend after all. Don’t be afraid to talk about anything! Good luck <3

  14. Jesus_chick_529

    Posted by Jesus_chick_529 on February 13, 2014 at 20:41

    we lasted 7 months, but after 5 months, we were really starting to struggle

  15. Project Inspired

    Posted by SEJ on February 13, 2014 at 19:32

    It took my 2 years to see these signs and actually have to courage to speak up and break up with him.

  16. ifoundhisjoy

    Posted by ifoundhisjoy on February 13, 2014 at 15:18

    It took me 9 months to see these signs

  17. Olivia_Chen

    Posted by Olivia_Chen on February 13, 2014 at 15:07

    I believe that you should leave your relationships to the Lord. He knows who is the one, and he has his wonderful ways to bring him to you. Instead of focusing on boys and relationships, focus on your relationship with the Lord, and there will be many blessings.

  18. Celby

    Posted by Celby on February 11, 2014 at 19:03

    When any relationship starts taking away from your life and joy, you know it’s time to leave.