Somewhere in this wide world, there is a person who may one day be your spouse. And though the idea of the “soulmate” is not biblical, the person you marry still exists at the same time you do – following a path directed by God that will eventually cross with yours.
Our future spouses should not be the primary focus of our single years; there is far more to life than marriage. But as we walk out God’s calling on the present, we inevitably look to the future. Your future husband is growing and learning in Christ just as you are now. One day you’ll meet him, and if he could have talked to you now – in the days before that happens – there are five things he’d probably want you to know.
- He Doesn’t Want to Be Your Savior
Your future husband is not your Jesus. He is not going to rescue you from real life and responsibility. He is going to join you in your God-ordained mission to make disciples in this world! Marriage is a beautiful picture of Christ and the church, but it’s also a way to double your efforts for God’s kingdom. If you’re looking forward to marriage and your future husband to “save” you from the realities of life, you’re not ready for the realities of marriage.
Rather than wait for a man to remove responsibility and difficulty from your life, fully engage with where God has you. Learn the skills necessary to be a strong contributor to your future marriage. Give yourself to God’s mission! That’s the best way to prepare for the kind of man you want.
- The Things You Want in Him? He’s Looking for Those in You!
Speaking of the kind of man to look for – that list of qualities you want in a future spouse? Those are the same things he’s looking for in you! Be careful when making up a list of “must haves” for your future husband. Are the things you’re looking for rooted in Scripture, based on character, or are they superficial? Having common interests and good looks are nice, but they are not necessary to a God-honoring marriage – and being too picky about superficial things can keep you single a lot longer than God initially intended.
When it comes to godly standards for a spouse, remember to meet those same expectations in your own life. If you want a spiritual leader – how diligent are you in your own spiritual walk? If you want someone who works hard – how devoted are you to the work at hand? Whatever you expect in someone else should be actively growing in your own life.
- Don’t Waste Time Waiting for Him
Just as a man is not your savior, life doesn’t start when you enter a relationship. Your life has already begun! Today is the day to tap into God’s will and live out His calling in the hours at hand. Don’t waste time waiting around for a guy before you live completely for the Lord. Live for Him now, and He will interrupt you with a relationship at the right time and place.
Waiting is hard, but it’s made easier when you are actively living an abundant life. If you’re sitting around, it feels much more miserable than it needs to be. Start by looking for ways to serve others – that’s a great place to begin!
- Purity is Worth It
Your future husband wants you to know that your purity – of mind, heart, and body – is worth the wait. It’s worth the difficulty, the resisting of temptation, and even being the odd-woman-out. This is not because godly men only date virgins – I’ve written before on how God views those who repent of sexual sin! There is hope for everyone who calls on the name of Jesus, no matter their sexual past.
But purity is a daily choice. It is a choice reflected in what we watch, listen to, talk about, and how we act. Purity keeps us in close relationship with God, which is where we get the wisdom and guidance for our current life and future relationships.
- You Need Jesus More than You Need Him
Lastly, your future husband wants you to know: you need Jesus more than you’ll ever need him. It is through your relationship with God that your relationship with your husband thrives. This is why it’s imperative that we obey God in remaining equally yoked – only dating believers who love Him as deeply as we do. You need Jesus to find purpose, fulfillment, contentment, and security – all of which you will then bring to your marriage.
It is on the cornerstone of Christ that lasting relationships are built. Your future husband may not be able to tell you all this, but I can – as someone who has been in your shoes and has heard these words from the godly man I married. Marriage and a man are blessings, but they are not your Savior. Jesus is.