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    5 Traits to Look for in a Guy…FROM a Christian Guy!

    I was talking to a friend of mine who is a girl (yes, it does happen, a guy CAN be friends with a girl!) who told me how hard it is to find a “good guy” to date.

    I asked her some questions about her current flame, to which she replied that he said he was a Christian. I asked more questions, and it turns out his view of Christianity only loosely meant “I believe that there is some type of God.” His view of Christianity was the worldly view and not what us followers of Christ know.

    That got me wondering…what are some traits that really make a “Christian guy” a “good guy?” Well, ladies, this is what you SHOULD be looking for:

    1. A man who is very much seeking God. Ladies, we say this so much at PI, but we mean it: Don’t date a guy who doesn’t love Jesus with all of his heart. It isn’t worth it. Also, don’t try to “change him”; let him figure that out on his own. Plant the seed if you must.

    2. A man who will pursue you. If he really wants to be with you, he will make it known. If you are getting mixed signals, it’s safe to say he doesn’t know what he wants…back away!

    3. A man who will respect your heart. This is a big one that I see a lot of girls fall into. A bad guy is after one thing—a physical relationship with you—and is not really interested in anything long-term. Seek a man who wants to know YOU.

    4. A man who will challenge you. This one is pretty big to me. Wouldn’t you want a guy who is there for you when you need to be pushed? So many of these “bad guys” won’t be around to be there, and that’s not cool.

    5. A man who will LISTEN to you. Seriously, we exist…find that guy who will listen to you when you’re at your lowest. Find that guy who will go out for coffee with you at 10 p.m. because you need to vent.

    Ladies, this certainly isn’t everything you should look for in a guy…just a few of the many important qualities! Guys like this are out there and DO exist!

    What would you add to the list?

    Dave Herrmann
    My name is Dave, you may see me writing funny articles on PI or managing the social media accounts. My life is putting Christ first and everything else second. Life is beautiful when we smile and choose a positive attitude. God is good!

    81 COMMENTS

      • hey girlie-
        Not every Christian guy is for you. Yes, it’s a great idea, but there are SO many Christian guys out there, and out of all of the, there’s one specifically for you. A guy can be a super strong Christian, but that doesn’t mean there’s chemistry there, and that’s ok! Pray on it, and listen to your gut (because that’s God speaking to you.) <3 I'm 19 and older than several girls on here, and I still haven't found Mr. Right, and that's ok. We're young, no need to rush it beautiful!!

      • Pray about it and ask God to lead you in the right direction. And also don’t base your interest on just fringe. Talk to someone older. Maybe a older friend or trusted friend. Who can give you advice. Be Blessed 🙂

      • ifoundhisjoy – I’m in a very similar situation… I know a guy, he’s seriously one of the strongest Christian young men I’ve ever met… And he really likes me (asked me to court him, actually)… but I told him no. To a lot of people, this didn’t make ANY sense, but just because this guy fulfills a set of criteria, doesn’t necessarily mean that he’s the one for me or you! There’s a LOT of Christian guys who will meet the same criteria, so don’t feel like you need to go out with the first one you meet 🙂 My prayers are with you hon!
        ~Bekah

      • Chances are, if the relationship or something in it doesn’t feel right, then it isn’t right. Romans 14:23 says clearly that if we think something is a sin but go ahead and do it anyway, then we are sinning because we aren’t following the convictions that the Holy Spirit has placed on our hearts.

    1. a guy who:
      -will ask you to go to church with him
      -will pray with you
      -will remind you that God loves you
      -lives his morals by God’s expectations
      – will never push you
      -encourages modesty

    2. There’s this guy in my youth group at church that I like. I’ll see him praying at church and he’ll talk about God on social media sites and he’s very involved with the church. He’s also a very kind, sweet, funny guy. One problem: he swears. He doesn’t use REALLY bad words and he does it infrequently, but he still does. So… I’ve been confused. I know every human has flaws, and that is one of his. But still… I really, REALLY like him and have for over two years, but the swearing is quite unfortunate. Maybe it’s just one of those teen phases?

      • Swearing is something that no Christian should do. It could be just one of those teen phases, but it is something that he needs to get rid of. The Bible says that if our fellow Christians are sinning and they don’t notice it, we need to step up and explain to them what they are doing. So, I suggest that you explain to him that swearing is not something that Christians need to be doing. 1 Timothy 4:12 is a good place to go to explain to him that our speech should not include swearing. Another is Colossians 3:8. But before you say anything to him about any of this, pray for guidance.

      • Hi Kristin,

        Are you friends with him too? If so, you should ask him about it. Ask him why he uses the language he does. We all struggle with some type of sinful way. Clearly his is with his tongue. I would be careful to not rebuke him for it, instead engage with him on it. Perhaps through your caring concern he might change his ways.

    3. You need to look for a guy who can be your signifgant other and your best friend. We’re only supposed to date someone who we assume we could marry one day, and you really couldn’t stay with them the rest of their life if they aren’t your best friend.

    4. One of my best friends wedding theme was Gods number one and I loved it it’s so true God needs to be your number one no matter what even in a relationship, Everything else should and needs to be your 2 priority.

    5. He Needs to be Family Oriented and Trustworthy no matter what.

      Has Honesty and Integrity and and Respect for all women, not just. I don’t like guys who only treat the girl they like right but others…Not so right.

      Chivilrous towards all women.

      Spirit Filled is another one.

    6. The 2nd one really helps me! I like this guy who used too like me well I say “used too..” I’m not really sure about weather or not he still did, but now I am sure that he can’t make up his mind up right now and I stay back most of the time..but this time I’m gonna try hard not to bother him.

    7. The guy who likes me fits all of them… well, actually, I’m not sure about number one. I’ve never asked him. I think he’s a great friend and really nice, but I don’t know if I want to go past friends with him… any advice, gals?

      • I would say that if you are feeling like you don’t know if you want to go past friends, then be VERY careful. Be praying about it like crazy! I almost got in a relationship with a guy because he told me he loved me. He was very attractive and a nice guy. I thought “why not?” and i ignored the fact that my heart wasn’t in it and it was not who Christ had for me. Hope it helps. 🙂

    8. I like a guy that has all these traits but sometimes i really want to know if he likes me or not, like if he is giving me mixed signals cause he does not act the way he acts when we are alone he is really friendly to me and when his friends are around he hangs out with them and not with me only says hello and whats up and listens to me for a while but usually turns around..maybe its just me I know I should not ask him if he likes me because Im just starting to get to know him I know I should take it slow….not to mention Im 20 and he is 28 and i cant get my mind off of him…what do you think??? Also I totally agree with the listening part!

      • I think you should take it slow, really feel out the situation. Emotions are emotions, but just make sure to not go too fast. That is a big age gap, however I don’t see any major problems with it. Guys tend to mature later than girls too.

    9. I have learned that if I am so deep in my relationship with God and I place my heart in His hands that the only way for a guy to get to me is if he goes through God first!!! I want the kind of relationship where the guy only looks at me because the holy spirit whispers to him “that’s her.” It is so frustrating because i am in college and all my friends are hooking up and going to dances and I have been asked out by some guys on campus but they all party and drink and are big into drugs! I want to find a guy who shares my same beliefs! a guy who is even farther in his walk with God then where I am!

    10. I had a great guy who constantly would help in my faith. He was also one of my best friends. He moved and he had some health issues and is already in heaven now. I have to trust God to find another great guy like him

      • It’s not sexist. Both parts should pursue each other. This was what a guy should be, not mentioning what girls should be. Girls should be all of these things as well. If neither party shows that they want to be with each other, no one will know. Then a relationship cannot happen, let alone prosper.

    11. #1… That’s really a must. 😀 Hahah (Well, for me.) Because if a guy seeks other things more than Christ then that’s not good. But I really liked all. Thanks for this advice. Sure to remember this all when the time comes. *drum rolls* know what I mean? Hahaha

    12. I loved all of them because they are so true! I would add humble and being able to admit when he is wrong. I got that from the Duggar girls off of 19 kids and counting. They are great inspirations.

    13. Right now im not looking for a relationship but these are definitely great tips to follow! For now im just praying to God to bring the right guy he wants me to be with, at the right time.

    14. This is a great list, especially the one that says he should seek God first, that we shouldn’t try to change him, and finding one of those rare guys who listens, and will keep listening even after you’re married. I would add as number six, he should be a gentleman. That is right after being a strong, God-seeking Christian on my list.
      Another thing, we want to find a guy like this, so we should strive to be the best we can be too. We need to seek God, learn to listen, and guard our hearts, staying pure for him.

    15. I learned the hard way that I can’t just desperately grab any guy just because I wanted love and affection that I never had. The way I became saved was when I realized that Jesus was my true love and I had a heavenly father whose love never failed me. My boyfriend didn’t really love me at all and used me and hurt me. But if it wasn’t for that experience I would have been completely hopeless. I know what to look for in a guy in the future

    16. I did actually find a guy that met this. We started off as friends because I didn’t feel ready to try and be in a relationship, met AT CHURCH, but eventually we couldn’t help but fall for each other. Sadly, for whatever reason (I blame myself), we ended up breaking up and it definitely took a toll on me. I am just praying for patience as well as the courage to trust and love again. R.I.P. my first and only love so far haha

    17. Pray that guys have the strength and courage to be men like this! Our brothers need the prayers of their sisters so much! (I like to say a prayer for a guy if I see a him check out a girl, hear him say a swear word, etc)
      Also a tip for ladies: if you expect him to act like a gentleman, treat him like one. If a guy holds the door open for you and you say “Thank you, sir” it’s almost a guarantee that he will smile and will walk a little taller (and he’s more inclined to do the same sort of gesture for you and others in the future). But be careful about simple actions such as holding doors open, you’re looking for a guy with the proper motivation behind his chivalrous actions; a guy who holds the door open because he respects you as his sister in Christ first and foremost, not just because he wants to sweep you off your feet and into bed.
      I’m praying you all 🙂

    18. A man who puts God in charge of your relationship. I have dated a guy and we never even mentioned God while we while we were dating. ( he goes to my church btw) I think that’s why our relationship went downhill, fast! Other than that, this list is perfect! Please, pray for men like this. Nowadays all men want in a girl is a great body. Girls, it’s time to stand up. Pray that more men can enter into God’s ways, and not into the ways of the world!

    19. It’s SO hard to find a good Christian guy these days. Most guys want the wrong things and dont really care about God. I feel so sorry for the girls who date them. But hey, if I have to be single for the rest of my life because I can not find a nice Christian guy, then so be it. I am happy single 🙂

    20. A guy that’s not afraid of what others will say about the relationship…a guy who doesn’t listen to negative outside influences. A guy who is proud of you and loves you just as God made you.

    21. I want a guy to be honest with me. I want to be able to trust him with everything. Love without trust is nothing! He needs to respect my boundaries. I have never kissed a boy before and I don’t plan to until my wedding day. I want my relationship to be based on personality and character. I’m not saying looks aren’t important, because I do like a guy with blonde hair. I just don’t want my relationship to be based on the emotion that I have because a guy kissed me. I hope that make sense.

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