I was a strong-willed child. My chief childhood flaw was my penchant for contention; I liked to fight. Years later, there is a part of me that still enjoys it, but I’ve found a better outlet for my “fighting spirit.”
Anger and division are never God’s plan for His children (1 Corinthians 1:10-13). When coupled with selfishness, a strong will and fighting spirit accomplish nothing for God’s glory. But being strong-willed can also be a good thing, and we need more warriors of faith in the ranks of the church. Our strength and fight can accomplish great things for God’s kingdom when they are submitted to His design and purpose.
If you’re a girl with fight in her heart, you may be able to relate to these five truths.
1. You’re not afraid of conflict.
While some—if not most—people avoid conflict at all costs, you aren’t afraid of confrontation. You are willing to risk the discomfort in order to find resolution and closure. While you might not enjoy it in the moment, you know that peace is worth the effort.
Recognizing that conflict is a good thing is a fundamental step to having quality relationships. When we see conflict as a stepping stone to better understanding, we are far more likely to control our emotions and keep a positive end in sight.
2. You have to control your temper.
There is a difference between fighting and fighting well. Conflict is good, but only when we handle it in a godly manner. The girl who fights has to learn to control her temper, setting aside defensiveness in order to show compassion.
If we are more concerned with getting justice than we are with resolving conflict, our emotions will block our good judgment. We have to choose self-control and reflect the Spirit of God in everything we do.
3. You’d rather get everything out in the open than sweep it under the rug.
It bothers you when people don’t air their grievances. To you, honesty is the best policy! You’re an open book about what bothers you and try to address issues head-on.
This can be a great habit if it’s done lovingly, but we have to soften the approach. It’s good to have an open discussion rather than gossip about people behind their backs, but if we approach the topic with anger or resentment, we’ve defeated our own purpose! Honesty and compassion must go hand in hand in order to resolve an issue and keep a relationship.
4. You stand by your convictions.
In a world of moral relativity, we need more women who stand on what they believe in. We need more Christians to fight for what is right, not with nasty words and condescending attitudes, but with faith, logic and kindness. The girl who fights this way fights effectively. She fights a good fight.
Fight the good fight of faith; take hold of the eternal life to which you were called, and you made the good confession in the presence of many witnesses. (1 Timothy 6:12)
We are called to honor the eternal life Christ has given us. We can do that by fighting for what is true, standing on our convictions and remaining pure in a sin-stained world.
5. God can use a fighting spirit—if it’s submitted to Him.
Sometimes the fight isn’t ours to wage. We might be ready to head into battle—to defend what we believe, to express the truth—but God tells us to wait. In those moments we must remember that our battle is only effective if our spirit is submitted to the Lord.
The LORD will fight for you while you keep silent. (Exodus 14:14)
There are times to speak up and stand out, and there are times to be silent. Being quiet doesn’t make us weak, just as being a fighter doesn’t make us mean. By following God’s leading, we will have the words for each situation. We will know when to put on the armor of God and when to rest in His presence, knowing that this fight was His from the beginning.