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    6 Ways to Be More Confident if You Struggle With Insecurities

    Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new. (2 Corinthians 5:17)


    Being confident wasn’t always easy for me, and if you met me in elementary or middle school, you’d be shocked that I ended up becoming a performer. It’s not something that I’ve mastered; rather, it’s something I have to work at on a daily basis so the thoughts suggested by the enemy don’t overrun what I know to be true about myself as a daughter of the Most High.

    If you’re dealing with fear, social anxiety or low self-esteem, I totally understand that it can seem like an endless part of your life. I’m here to tell you that it is possible to change the way you see yourself and get outside of your comfort zone. Here are six ways to begin the process of healing your insecurities and becoming more confident.


    1. Memorize what scripture has to say about you. There are countless scriptures that describe who you are through God’s eyes. One of the most effective tactics the devil uses against you is to convince you that you’re useless and unworthy of love. At the end of the day, our biggest battle is spiritual and that’s where we need to start. Pick up your “sword” and confess powerful scripture over yourself.


    For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. (Ephesians 2:10)


    2. Distance yourself from negative people. I think we’ve all had that friend or family member who seems to pick apart everything about us. “Why do you dress that way?” “Why don’t you have a boyfriend?” “Why did you pick that job?” You don’t need a record playing over and over in your head of everything they’ve said about you, because it will start to feel like the truth, if it hasn’t already. It’s a lot easier to drop a friend than a family member, so having an open discussion about how this family member treats you could be a way to get them to stop their criticisms. If that doesn’t work, pray and ask The Lord to cover you when the person starts transitioning into a negative conversation. If possible, walk away altogether.


    But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His wonderful light. (1 Peter 2:9)


    3. Prepare yourself for the inevitable uncomfortable environments. Sometimes we’re perfectly fine until we have to give a speech, go on a job interview or attend a social event. If your insecurities stem from the unknown, try to do a lot of preparation ahead of time so you’ll be able to walk in confidently knowing you’re ready and feeling your best. Sometimes this just means putting new social settings into perspective and telling yourself: They’re just people and it’s only for a few hours. I have nothing to prove.


    For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. (Ephesians 2:10)


    4. Join more activities that you love. When it seems like no one understands you, being around like-minded individuals, in a community doing what makes you happy, can bring a sense of accomplishment. As an artist, I notice that I gravitate toward people who love the same things I do, because there’s less of a need to explain my interests, career, etc., to them than to people who give me a blank stare because they can’t relate. You need people around who can support you and understand what makes you get out of bed in the morning.


    I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. (Psalm 139:14)


    5. Take one step at a time. Each time you choose to do something outside of your comfort zone, that’s another victory in building your confidence. I remember the days when leaving a message on someone’s voicemail would freak me out because I thought I sounded dumb. Doing practical things that stretched me in small ways helped me to overcome my fears one situation at a time.


    No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. (Romans 8:37)


    6. Start your day off with The Lord. This advice is common when dealing with self-esteem issues, and here’s why: Not only do you need to have a close relationship with God, but even the way you begin your day has a lot to do with how it progresses in a positive way…or doesn’t. Jumping on to social media can begin the comparison game before you even have a chance to wipe the sleep from your eyes. If you open your Bible and have quiet time before The Lord, the prayers you offer up will cover you and help you to focus on how loved you are by Him and that His promises for you are true. Walking through life as His child is one of the most powerful and bold things you can do in this world.


    I pray these tips help you in your journey of building your confidence. Seeing your value starts with doing work on the inside, and staying close to God will change your life in so many amazing ways.

    We’d love to hear from you! What do you do to win your battle with insecurity?

    Kytia Lamour
    Kytia is a writer, actress, and photographer living in sunny southern California. Reaching out to young women and sharing her story is what keeps her heart beating for God. She's in love with all forms of beauty and is always looking forward to whatever new adventure awaits.


    1. Oh how I needed this! I came home from youth group crying cause I’m totally different from the other girls in my group. First I’m an introvert and only one other girl is to and so we’ll sit kinda by ourselves and she wasn’t there last Sunday. Sometimes I feel as if I’m invisible to everyone around me. Even my own family because I’m not great at speaking up and I let worrying about what others will think of me if I say something so o just stay to the outskirts and when I do interact I’m having a million thoughts of what will happen or what others will think. O fidget a lot and my mom says I shouldn’t ,but I can’t really control it or I just don’t consintrate. I’ve never thought of it as social anxiety ,but maybe it is???? I totally got low self-esteem!

      I usually end my nights in prayer and or Bible reading. I think starting my day w/ God is something I’ll try harder to do!

      Referring to 2. What do you do if the person won’t let you leave while criticize or getting onto you? They say it’s “disrespectful”. My parents agree. No one seems to understand that if I stay there I’m building inside in anger and tears and trying to hold it back. The person also gets mad if I start crying while their yelling / criticize me. It’s an ongoing thing and I think it’s partly their personality. It’s mostly occasionally ,but it hurts and it’s a family member. Any suggestions there? Except praying for them?

      • Hello, Aleya!

        I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve been dealing with anxiety and low self-esteem. I will be praying for you. In regards to three of the points you made:

        Feeling left out in your youth group. I know what you mean. You want to be involved but don’t know how, but the hardest thing is overthinking how they see you or what their reaction will be. This kind of thing takes time to get used to, but it would be helpful if you did begin to speak up. Most of the worst-case scenarios in our head never happen. Opening up to people will make you more approachable and people will generally have a conversation with you if you’re talking more. When I was shy, most people who didn’t talk to me said they thought I wanted to be left alone or that they thought I was stuck up. (Which was completely the opposite.) You have been given a voice, but the enemy wants to keep us silent and lonely.

        As far as starting the day in the bible and prayer: YES!!! And that’s awesome that you’re already ending your nights in prayer and reading. Keep that up, girl!

        With your family member, have you talked to them about how it makes you feel when they’re criticizing you? If you don’t tell them, they might not know if it’s affecting you. Also, depending on your age if you’re still under 18 living at home and have to go according to household rules, you will have to keep praying because you can’t always just leave the room or move out.

    Project Inspired

    We here at Project Inspired want to guide and inspire teen girls to be true to themselves and to God. We want to show young girls how to be people of value and confidence – how to be your own best selves – through leading a Christian life. Who are we? We're a team of girls, like you. We edit the site, we post to social media, we hang out in the chat rooms and forums. We talk with you, we listen to you, and we love you!

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