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7 Reasons Why You Don’t Need a Boyfriend

There truly is a season for everything, and right now, for many of us, that may include focusing on how God is shaping us independently as women. However, among cultural pressures and personal insecurities, it can feel as if singleness is something to be “fixed” or brought into completion with another person. This can lead a lot of women to rush and settle for dysfunctional relationships, doubt their own worthiness or even question God’s plan for them to the point of becoming hardened against Him. Instead of sheltering themselves in the Lord’s heart so that men who seek Him may find them, they take things into their own hands to validate their status.

There’s this common attitude that as a single woman you’re holding your breath until the right guy comes along and then life will begin to flourish. It’s true that the right person can be an added blessing to your life and even open the door to a different kind of calling! However, your purpose exists in what God is doing within you regardless of who is or isn’t presently in your life. It begins with what you’ve been through, the things you’re passionate about and the skills you are growing in! You don’t have to wait for a guy to make the most of your life. You can begin now.

To be clear, desiring a mate is not a bad thing. It’s even a perfectly natural and godly thing when put in proper context. However, feeling the desperate need for a boyfriend is usually a red flag about the condition of our hearts. Idealizing a mate as the solution to your hurts, image and unresolved insecurities is never a stable foundation on which to build any relationship—and it may eventually come tumbling back down to square one.

Sister, if you’ve been feeling pressured to strive for a relationship instead of trusting God and making the most of where you are, here are seven quick truths as to why you don’t need a boyfriend right now.


1. Your purpose doesn’t begin with a guy. It begins with what God has already put inside of you. 


2. You’re using this time to build security within Christ and yourself first.


3. You’re on God’s perfect timeline for you, not everyone else’s.


4. You want to enter any future relationship from a healthy place of choice, and not react from dependence.


5. You have goals, and as a single woman you can put all your focus into your personal growth and calling.


6. Waiting for the right relationship is so much better than being stuck in the wrong one because you settled into the first thing that showed you attention.


7. Your value is rooted in Christ first and the woman God purposed you to be, not in whether a guy chooses you or not.


What do you ladies think? What are some reasons to value being single rather than rushing into a relationship? Be sure to share in the comments below!

Image: Lightstock | Pearl


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  1. Project Inspired

    Posted by bean dip on December 11, 2017 at 20:42

    So I stumbled across this blog through Pinterest actually and I just kept reading! I love this article because sometimesi i wished to had a boyfriend. All my friends have or have one! So I kinda feel awkward sometimes. I used to like a guy at church and I had a huge chrush on him for about two years but now i’m trying to convince myself to not like him becausei know God’s closed that door a long time ago. It started out he liked me and I hated him. Then we flip flopped. We talk a little. He says we’re friends. I prayed a lot about him at first and I felt God was opening the door for us ,but I never got the courage to talk to him. Then about 6 months into liking him I felt God closing doors and I had a feeling he got a girlfriend and later I found out I was right. So now i’m trying to tell myself it was good things didn’t work out then. And maybe there is still hope for us ,but not now. I know i’m not ready for a relationship and I need to sort things out in my life and between me and God first….but it’s hard to be patient and wait for the right guy to come along. Heck I have albinism! What guy would like a girl with albinism! I guess God will bring a guy along when the time is right. Last thing! My life group leader once explained dating life this. You have a whole heart in the beginning ,but when you date you give a piece of your heart away every time. So how much is left for your husband/ husband to be?

  2. belovedandblessed

    Posted by belovedandblessed on November 9, 2017 at 20:18

    For while I was boy crazy, yes, boy crazy, I wanted God to find me a match fast basically but I have since understood that God wants first place in my life and He will not settle to be a back seat driver. I was a baby Christian then, I didn’t understand seeking God first. But as I grew in faith and spiritual maturity I have come to understand that God is the King and the One who should always be on the throne of my heart. Not some guy. So after many years and prayers and honest talks with God, I have let Him be my biggest dream and my grandest pursuit. He is my greatest adventure and He is so EVERYTHING!! But putting that in that place where the desire once was for marriage has also made me idolize singleness much to the point of being cynical about marriage and relationships. But this has shown me that God wants me to have dreams and these desires are good, His desires for me even. He wouldn’t let the dream die like I wanted Him to, so these days I am waiting and praying for that Godly man that He will lead into my life someday. God truly wants to give us the good and perfect gifts. And waiting for it is so worth it.