There truly is a season for everything, and right now, for many of us, that may include focusing on how God is shaping us independently as women. However, among cultural pressures and personal insecurities, it can feel as if singleness is something to be “fixed” or brought into completion with another person. This can lead a lot of women to rush and settle for dysfunctional relationships, doubt their own worthiness or even question God’s plan for them to the point of becoming hardened against Him. Instead of sheltering themselves in the Lord’s heart so that men who seek Him may find them, they take things into their own hands to validate their status.
There’s this common attitude that as a single woman you’re holding your breath until the right guy comes along and then life will begin to flourish. It’s true that the right person can be an added blessing to your life and even open the door to a different kind of calling! However, your purpose exists in what God is doing within you regardless of who is or isn’t presently in your life. It begins with what you’ve been through, the things you’re passionate about and the skills you are growing in! You don’t have to wait for a guy to make the most of your life. You can begin now.
To be clear, desiring a mate is not a bad thing. It’s even a perfectly natural and godly thing when put in proper context. However, feeling the desperate need for a boyfriend is usually a red flag about the condition of our hearts. Idealizing a mate as the solution to your hurts, image and unresolved insecurities is never a stable foundation on which to build any relationship—and it may eventually come tumbling back down to square one.
Sister, if you’ve been feeling pressured to strive for a relationship instead of trusting God and making the most of where you are, here are seven quick truths as to why you don’t need a boyfriend right now.
1. Your purpose doesn’t begin with a guy. It begins with what God has already put inside of you.
2. You’re using this time to build security within Christ and yourself first.
3. You’re on God’s perfect timeline for you, not everyone else’s.
4. You want to enter any future relationship from a healthy place of choice, and not react from dependence.
5. You have goals, and as a single woman you can put all your focus into your personal growth and calling.
6. Waiting for the right relationship is so much better than being stuck in the wrong one because you settled into the first thing that showed you attention.
7. Your value is rooted in Christ first and the woman God purposed you to be, not in whether a guy chooses you or not.
What do you ladies think? What are some reasons to value being single rather than rushing into a relationship? Be sure to share in the comments below!