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Christian Life

7 Truths About Lust

Hey ladies, scripture is pretty clear about lust. Jesus Himself told us that just looking at someone with lustful intent is considered adultery (Matthew 5:28). But what is lust? When looking up the definition and its synonyms, terms like “sexual desire,” “sexual appetite,” “sexual longing,” “find sexually attractive,” “crave” and “covet” are offered. Whoa!

So then why is lust such a common sentiment, even for Christians? Why do we lust like it means nothing? Well, partly because we’ve forgotten that lust, even in its most diluted form, is still sinful. And probably because our culture has relied on lust to get attention.

Opportunities to lust are everywhere. And we’ve become a culture that has lost control. Causes for lust are found in the media through commercials, movies, books and magazines. They’re in women’s fashion, through plunging necklines and short shorts, and for guys it’s tight tees -or just shirtless- and low riding pants. And they’re even in our everyday relationships through flirting, sexting and social media. And lust doesn’t discriminate, ladies. Both guys and girls lust.

 

But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. (Galatians 5:16)

 

Think about these truths when it comes to lust.

  1. It turns body parts into things and people into animals. Whether it’s a girl checking out a guy’s abs and muscles or guys eyeing up a girl’s long legs and cleavage, the truth is the same. You’re not taking into consideration a person’s intellect and character, personality or inner beauty when lusting after them. Instead, you’re looking at them physically and with a sexual appetite, similar to how animals relate to each other.
  2. Lust represents a lack of control. Sure, lust can have a stronghold if you allow it to. And in some situations it takes over you and you feel as if you just can’t help but fall for it, but you have control over all your feelings. You need to control your sinful desires, just as you would any other sexual sin. It can be done, but it takes strong self-control and an even stronger desire to follow Christ’s commandments.
  3. It reflects a lack of respect. When acknowledging someone in a sexual way, disregarding their character, intellect and emotions, you’re viewing them in the most crude sense. You’re not holding them in high regard or valuing them as a person.
  4. Lust is self-gratification. Lust is selfish because its intention is to indulge in sexual pleasure, even if it’s just in thought—for example, if you’re watching a movie with an actor you’re attracted to and you take pleasure in imagining yourself with him, or you take pleasure in watching a scene in which he is intimate with a girl.
  5. It’s not flattering to be lusted after. Many girls feel it’s a compliment when a guy checks them out or says something inappropriate about a physical attribute. But it’s not flattering to be looked at like a plaything. If a creepy old guy were checking you out, you’d immediately think he was a pervert. So why is it okay if a cute guy does the same? The intention is the same, right?
  6. It’s dangerous and affects your future marriage. It destroys your self-worth when you’re lusted after. And it distorts the way you view guys. As to the former, you’ll continue to allow yourself to be treated poorly, which could cause issues in a future marriage. And as to the latter, you’ll continue to devalue others, including your future husband. In both instances, lust becomes such a destructive mindset, and as has been proven in our current culture, people begin devaluing themselves and each other.
  7. It destroys love. This is because lust is the opposite of love, but many people confuse the two. They assume that if they’re physically attracted to someone, then that’s love. But love and lust come from two different places. And eventually, when that difference becomes noticeable and lust trumps love, it causes resentment and insecurity. Not to mention the false belief that if there’s no longer lust, then the love is gone. For more on love, check out 5 Truths About Love.

Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire and covetousness, which is idolatry. (Colossians 3:5)

 

Regardless of what you feel about lust, it’s a sin. You may think it’s harmless, but scripture begs to differ. And if you’re a follower of Christ, then you’ll recognize lust for what it truly is: a destroyer of the soul. It takes true inner strength to overcome lust. But if you take one moment at a time, one day at a time, you can build the strength you need to combat lust.

Ladies, did you know that lust was so destructive?

Image: Lightstock | Rob Birkbeck

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26 Comments

  1. raixxa

    Posted by raixxa on June 11, 2015 at 14:07

    I deal with this all the time.

  2. Dani D

    Posted by Dani D on April 7, 2015 at 09:12

    So this may sound a little dumb but how do you tell the difference between having a crush on someone and lusting after them?

    • TypeCastWriter

      Posted by TypeCastWriter on August 25, 2017 at 09:24

      If you have a crush on them because of who they are and not what they have, it’s a true crush. If you’re there just for the “eye candy” so to speak, then it may be straying into lust. Now, being attracted to someone while you have a crush on them is alright, that’s natural. But take care that it doesn’t stray into sexual fantasies or intimate thoughts. I struggle with this often, so I can help. Pray for us, you guys!

  3. amarajoy13

    Posted by amarajoy13 on April 6, 2015 at 22:45

    This article is really helpful and eye opening! I was struggling with this earlier today even and when I opened up Facebook , WHAM!, it was right there. Thank you for posting about such relatable topics! I love reading the PI articles and look forward to more!! 🙂

  4. Project Inspired

    Posted by GirlBelieve631 on November 5, 2014 at 21:01

    This article really helps me to learn about that lusting is very sinful act. That’s why we should always pray to God and surrender ourselves to him, so he will protect us.

  5. brittney_heart

    Posted by brittney_heart on November 4, 2014 at 12:31

    Wow, this got me thinking about how I view guys. I’ve realized that Im a sucker for a cute face and that is really damaging for relationships including ones with guys who are just friends.

  6. GrayC

    Posted by GrayC on November 2, 2014 at 14:50

    So is it the same thing to love someone for who they are, (how they look just being a bonus) and wanting to hug/hold/briefly kiss someone because of who they are, like because you love them?…
    Or is that still a kind of lust?

  7. Project Inspired

    Posted by bluesky365 on October 31, 2014 at 17:38

    this is by far the best blog I have read today! I had never thought of it by this point of view before! it really opened my eyes and made me see that those examples are everywhere we look today which is by the way super dangerous. plus it can ruin future in school, carrier, and everything! awesome blog!

  8. LauraLove

    Posted by LauraLove on October 31, 2014 at 15:04

    This was so good!! Wow i have never thought about it this way before; this will definitely change the way i look at love and lust.

  9. Project Inspired

    Posted by megan.tomlin@yahoo.com on October 30, 2014 at 21:07

    My question is how to be married to a guy. Some say it must be done by a preacher, have a marriage license, and ive even heard that in the old testament to be married happens when you have sex??? I cant find any specifics in the bible that talks about the traditional wedding. Is it making a commitment to someone for life? Help im lost

    • Project Inspired

      Posted by Herndonhome on February 8, 2015 at 21:00

      Megan, I had to create a profile to reply to you, but your question called out to me. I felt like your question was an honest one — one I asked myself. With no true guidance, I made the wrong choices. Having sex outside of marriage does not constitute marriage in God’s eyes. That’s fornication. Please do not believe that lie. I only want to spare you making the same mistake I did. I ended up marrying a non-Christian man because I made the mistake of having sex with him. I then felt obligated to marry him, because I thought I was already married in God’s eyes. The heartache that followed has had a lifelong impact on me and on my children. There is forgiveness for premarital sex. You are not already married just because you made a bad choice. As Jesus said, “Go and sin no more.” Blessings, Megan.

  10. flowerchild68

    Posted by flowerchild68 on October 30, 2014 at 15:56

    I always laugh when I realize I’m probably the only girl in the world who is NOT attracted to guys with muscles. Really, it’s true.
    That being said. I am so thankful for this post! I have only recently started being open with close friends and family about my struggles with lust. I’ve dealt with it basically forever. I can say from first hand experience that it distorts your life. No, it isn’t the same as just thinking someone is attractive–lust goes beyond that. It isn’t something to take lightly.
    Reserving your strongest feelings for the person you marry isn’t easy, but it saves you heartache and brings you closer to God. I’ve learned that the hard way, especially quite recently. I pray that other young ladies never have to know the hardships of such struggles.

    • Mandi Pi

      Posted by Mandi Pi on April 7, 2015 at 06:28

      Your post is from months and months ago, but on the off chance you see the article on FB and click on it again: YOU’RE TOTALLY NOT THE ONLY ONE, SISTA! Lol, muscles are really just not attractive to me, and I always get told by my friends that I have weird taste because I like skinny, nerdy guys. xD

  11. thetruth

    Posted by thetruth on October 27, 2014 at 13:31

    Haha this is ridiculous! Your going to lusts. Its natural! You willmlust after someone you love. You need suxual attraction as well as others. And its not the same if a old man checks you out or a young guy. There is clearly an age difference.

    • curlygirl31

      Posted by curlygirl31 on October 31, 2014 at 07:45

      Lust is a sin, plain and simple. However, where most people get caught up, in when they think that sexual attraction is a sin. It is NOT a sin! Lust is when you take your sexual attraction to someone to another level completely. When you turn the other people into an object for you to enjoy. You can, however, be sexually attracted to someone and still see them as a person made by and loved by God. When sexual attraction becomes selfish and all about you, then it becomes lust. I mean think about it, if God didn’t give us sexual desire for each other, there would not be very many marriages or kids. It is a wonderful part that God created about us. You shouldn’t feel guilty if you are attracted to a guy sexually as long as you don’t make it all about you.

    • redrachel11

      Posted by redrachel11 on October 30, 2014 at 18:47

      As sinners we are going to naturally lust. But as Christians we need to ask God for help to flee from the temptation to lust. The sexual attraction is to come after love and of course, marriage. But that is after you love, not lust. Like it was said in the article, love and lust are often confused and are completely opposites, contradicting the dictionary but truthful to Gods word. We are his daughters and he wants us to be treated with respect and not like objects for guys to look at. He loves us to much to let us be lusted over.

      • SignerGirl

        Posted by SignerGirl on February 9, 2015 at 18:26

        Being attracted to someone physically before you’re married can be a battle, but it’s not a sin. You just have to make good decisions and keep in mind why you choose not to have sex before marriage. Whether that be simply because God says so, or if there’s more to it. And be honest about it if it’s causing you and your boyfriend problems.
        My boyfriend and I have had several conversations about this. Everything from, “These are things you can do to make life easier for me while I try to treat you properly,” to “Here’s why I feel we ought to interact in a way that doesn’t put us in a place where we’re more likely to do sexual stuff.” It’s difficult for us, but we really feel it’s worth the struggle.

  12. rosiegirl

    Posted by rosiegirl on October 24, 2014 at 07:05

    What about once you are already in a relationship? I’d be lying if I said I didn’t check out my boyfriend before he asked me out, but I got to know him before I considered him as a potential relationship. We both work hard to maintain our bodies and stay healthy, is there something wrong with wanting your significant other to appreciate your muscles or the legs you’ve been working hard on? He is very proud of how strong he is and I am proud of how muscled my legs are. I don’t think that letting someone close to you know that you like that they take care of themselves is lusting.

  13. Clockworked

    Posted by Clockworked on October 23, 2014 at 18:48

    That last paragraph just changed everything in my life.

  14. Project Inspired

    Posted by GloriaLuvCookies on October 21, 2014 at 22:33

    There’s a very good book which is a story about a prostitute who learns what Love really is when a man of God decides to marry her because God told him to. It’s called “Redeeming Love” by Francais sth (forgot her last name). A very good book I recommand to read 🙂

  15. Project Inspired

    Posted by Precioustime22 on October 21, 2014 at 20:56

    What’s the difference between thinking someone’s attractive and lusting after them? For example, yes, abs and muscles of guys are attractive features. (You’d be totally lying if you said they aren’t) But just because I think it’s an attractive feature, is it lusting?

    And I have another question: so if God made people beautifully and they’re attractive, why is it wrong to think so? Or if romance and infatuation is so useless and just stupid puppy love, then why did God create it? I understand romance isn’t everything but it almost seems like its some contagious disease to the point where it’s seen almost as a bad/wrong thing.

    • bbgirl2000

      Posted by bbgirl2000 on October 24, 2014 at 16:27

      Good question. There is nothing wrong with thinking someone is beautiful or attractive. It becomes wrong when you look at someone and have a sexual desire because of how they look. Its not the same as seeing someone and falling in love (even though you shouldnt always trust love at first sight), but lust is when you have a sexual desire (like imagining yourself having sex or touching in a sexual way) by just looking at someone. Lust is pretty much being perverted by how you view someone. Lust is not the same as love or admiration, it is just seeing someone as a sex object. So if you are crushing on a cutie (say, Taylor Lautner), its not lust unless you are looking at him in a sexually craving way

    • Project Inspired

      Posted by JesusFreak3278 on October 22, 2014 at 07:34

      I don’t think this article was saying that its wrong to think somebody is attractive. Everyone is beautiful because God created them, and it’s perfectly alright to be attracted to someone. It becomes lust when you only want the person’s body. If you truly love somebody, you respect them and love them for who they are on the inside. If you only are attracted to someone because they are “sexy” or “hot,” that’s when it becomes lust. Hope this helped 🙂