While relationships fill your newsfeed, anniversaries are announced and you’re tagged in #relationshipgoals posts on Instagram, your heart may be crushed and hurting. Maybe your boyfriend broke up with you and you’re not over it. Maybe your crush likes your best friend. Or your ex from a year ago is dating again and something about it makes you sad. If any of these sound like you, here are eight things to know about that guy who broke your heart.
- God will hold him accountable if he dishonored you. If he used you, manipulated you or pushed your boundaries, he will answer to God for that behavior. God has set standards for our sexuality not because He is angry or judgmental, but because He is perfectly good and perfectly just. When a man violates one of God’s daughters, he answers to the ultimate Father.
- Your value is not dependent on his opinion. Perhaps he emotionally abused you. Maybe his breakup speech was cruel and unnecessary. Whatever he did, remember this: No guy can change your innate value as a daughter of God. No man can take away your status as an image-bearer of the divine. God is still good. Christ is still in you. Live as a daughter of the King, because that’s who you are.
- He is part of your story, but not the sum of it. That guy will always be part of your story. He will be in your history—and maybe your hometown—for the rest of your life. But God redeems anything we give Him for our good and His glory! This guy may have hurt you, but he does not dictate your future. God does.
- You will look back on him as a learning experience. This part of your life might be painful, but one day you will look back and see how much you grew through it. You will see how you learned to trust God more, to choose His design for sexuality, for friendships and for community—all by letting go of a guy who doesn’t deserve your attention and fixing your eyes on Christ instead.
- He is not worth worrying about. This guy is not worth your mental energy. Don’t worry about who he’s dating, whether he’s mad at you or even about “saving” him. Only Jesus can do that! It’s not up to you to fix him; it’s up to you to walk closer to God in this season and let Him heal you from your broken heart.
- He is not the template for all men. This is important. The guy who broke your heart is not a model for all the men in the world. There are good, godly men out there—a lot of them. But you have to walk close to God, using His wisdom and love to guide you, in order to find a man who loves the way God does. Live as a woman of God and a man of God will recognize Christ in you.
- God may be protecting you from him. Sometimes God allows painful experiences to protect us from something far more dangerous. The guy who broke your heart may have been used by God to keep you from a path of even greater pain. Like a kind Father, sometimes God has to direct us back to Him through difficult means. It’s not pleasant, but it’s worth it in the end.
- Jesus died for him. Finally, remember that this guy is still human—which means God loves him just as much as He loves you. Show grace. Don’t be bitter. Choose forgiveness, just as God in Christ forgave you.
Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. (Ephesians 4:32)
God specializes in comforting the brokenhearted. His love has the power to make all other loves pale in comparison—including the ones we’ve lost.