Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10)
The Bible is full of references to friendship. Those of us who are blessed enough to have a true friend in our lives know that they are one of life’s greatest treasures. Here are a few great ways to really be there for your BFF!
1. Pray for her. Whether she asks for it or not, talk to God about your friend. Ask Him to reveal ways you can best minister to your friend. Pray for her future and Christian walk. Ask your friend if there is anything specific she would like you to pray about on her behalf.
2. Let her know when you are thinking about her. If your friend randomly comes to your mind, it might be the Holy Spirit prompting you to reach out. Give her a call or text message to check in. It doesn’t have to be complicated. Something as simple as “Thought of you today. Hope you are having a wonderful week!” can really make a person feel loved.
3. Listen. REALLY listen. Put down your screens and look her in the eye. If it’s a phone call or web chat, avoid other distractions. Don’t try to one-up her stories or steal the conversation and make it all about you. See if you can hear the emotions behind the words and empathize with what she’s going through.
4. Remember the big days. Whether good or bad, there are some significant moments in your friend’s life not to ignore. The obvious ones like her birthday or graduation are perfect times to send love and congratulate her. There are also some anniversaries and personal triumphs that give you an opportunity to show Christ’s love. Is it the anniversary of a loved one’s passing? Send a card. Is she taking a huge test she’s worked hard studying for? Send a pump-up text message!
5. Be consistent. If you say you’re going to come to something, don’t flake. If you can’t commit to an event, then be honest about that upfront. Your friend will never forget the people who actually show up. Consistency also means treating your friend the same way no matter who else is around. If you have a great time together one-on-one, then include her when there are lots of people—yes, maybe even guys—in the picture as well.
6. Know their love language. Don’t know what a “love language” is? Basically, it’s the way a person receives and shows love. Want to learn your own and discover your friend’s love language? Check out 5lovelanguages.com. A kind word may be someone’s language, while another friend may feel really appreciated with a gift. Show love to your friend in the way that will make the biggest impact.
7. Be loyal. Everyone is going to have good days and bad days. The friends who last through the years are the ones who stick around when the relationship is not always going perfectly. A little conflict is bound to happen in any friendship. Handle it in a godly, mature way and move past it. Loyalty also means not talking behind your friend’s back or gossiping about her. Only say things about your friend that you’d say if she were standing right in front of you.
8. Be supportive. When your friend tells you about her dreams and struggles, be her biggest advocate. Stay away from judgment, condemnation and criticism. Encourage her in her strengths and ask how you can help in the process. Is your friend practicing for a sports tryout? Help her train. Is she going to be auditioning for a play? Help her read lines. If nothing else, make it very clear that you believe in her and are so proud of her efforts.
My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. (John 15:13-15)
Do you have a friend like this in your life? Are there other ways that you show your besties how much they mean to you?
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