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A Gazillion Reasons Why I’m Not Obsessed with Getting Married

I’ve been planning my wedding since I knew what a wedding was. I am absolutely the annoying girl who turns her birthday into a “birth-week,” so a huge party devoted to me where I get to eat lots of cake, dance like a crazy person and wear a killer dress is totally my jam.

Thus, the explosion of awesome that is my wedding Pinterest board.

I’ve got a few ice rinks masquerading as engagement rings on that bad boy, along with eclectic yet classy bridesmaid dresses and wedding pictures to make National Geographic photographers weep.

Despite all of the evidence to the contrary, I’m actually not obsessed with getting married. Sure, I want a huge party and I want all my friends to get dressed up, and I’d like some nice jewelry to go along with it, but the word on the street is an awesome wedding does not a good marriage make. Really, I should just throw myself a super formal birthday party (or “birth-week”) and be done with it.

So why am I not overly preoccupied with getting hitched?

  1. Most of my friends aren’t married: Will this change? You bet. However, having a great group of girlfriends who are also riding the singleness wave makes being single a lot easier. Nothing makes you feel more like Chewbacca’s slightly more attractive female sibling than being the only single person in a room full of married people. Not to say you shouldn’t have married friends—I’ve got some great ones—but having a good chunk of single gal pals around makes you feel less like one of the aliens from Star Wars and more like a normal person.
  2. It makes being friends with guys way easier: Guys get super nervous around girls who are so focused on the “M word” that it’s like a predator special on Animal Planet. Want to have great guy friends? Then don’t care if you date them or not. Suddenly you’ll be invited to late-night Mario Kart parties that include lots of pizza and bathroom humor. Delightful.
  3. I know marriage isn’t going to make me happier: Like our buddy the Apostle Paul says, who I fondly refer to as AP, “I’ve learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. I’m just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I’ve found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty.” (Philippians 4:11-12 MSG) Basically, our happiness or our contentment shouldn’t be contingent on our circumstances; it should be based on our relationship with Jesus.
  4. I’m not called to be married, at least right now: How do I know? Because I’m not married or in a serious relationship. In Matthew 6:34 (NIV), we’re told “not to worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” So focus on today. What is God calling me to do today? Work? Volunteer? Study? Meet with a friend? Tomorrow, marriage might be slightly more interesting, but I’ll worry about that tomorrow.

Ladies, why are YOU not obsessed with being married? What helps you recognize that being single is great?

Image: Lightstock | Prixel Creative

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12 Comments

  1. ChloeJones

    Posted by ChloeJones on June 15, 2017 at 18:09

    This. Is. SO. Good.

    P.S. “late-night Mario Kart parties that include lots of pizza”? Um, yes! Count me in!!! (although that could be because almost all my best friends are guys, sooo…. xD

  2. martial_artist_for_Jesus

    Posted by martial_artist_for_Jesus on June 15, 2017 at 15:26

    What if you’re on the opposite end of the spectrum, and kind of terrified of dating/marriage? What then??

  3. Ashley.ab

    Posted by Ashley.ab on June 25, 2016 at 07:16

    I honestly don’t know where I stand in the whole marriage vs singleness spectrum. Like other girls, I grew up dreaming of my wedding day but now that all my friends are getting married (literally, there’s been about 7 this year with more to come) I realize that I’m actually old enough to do just that. However, when I think about the calling God has on my life I know it’s just not gonna happen right now. In fact, a year ago (before everyone decided to get married) I was okay with being single. Now there just seems to be too much pressure to be in a relationship and quite honestly, the thought of being a wife and mother living in suburbia terrifies me. I’m twenty, I’m single, I’m itching to start my career as a missionary, I’m an adventure junkie, and since we’re being honest, I’m selfish. Having a boyfriend right now could be a hindrance to my plans. I want to live my life and enjoy being single as I live for Christ. I’m nowhere near ready for a serious relationship because my relationship with God needs work. When I draw closer to God, I pray for a heart to love Him above all else and right now that is an adventure that doesn’t include a boyfriend.

  4. Project Inspired

    Posted by Piper_Monroe20 on June 5, 2015 at 13:02

    First of all, it’s not the wedding I’m “obsessed” with. Yes, I want the white dress and cake, but that’s not why I want to get married.

    Honestly, getting married and having a family is my deepest desire, aside from following Christ. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to be married now, I’m only 20, and I don’t even have a boyfriend. I want one so badly, but it’s not the time yet, because God has not provided me one yet.

    I’m reminding myself of Hannah. She wanted a baby so badly, her heart ached for one. God finally gave her a baby, but she waited so long, and I feel like that’s what it’s like. My heart aches for a husband (one who loves and honors the Lord), and a baby, even though I’m not married and don’t want a baby for a few years after marriage, but that’s always been my desire, from the time I was a child.

    So I guess you can say I’m “obsessed” with getting married, but it’s not something I want to do right now. Maybe in like, two, three years, but not now.

    (I feel like I’m talking myself in circles, sorry, guys XD)

    • Nandag1997

      Posted by Nandag1997 on July 20, 2015 at 11:52

      I am in exactly the same boat, but I am three years younger than you. The last point of this article is what hits me the most, because I genuinely want to marry someone who does not complete me, but compliments me. I know what I want in my future spouse and for my future, but when it comes down to it, I can’t worry about it! I think of all these scenarios that interfere with this ginormous dream, and a lot of my thoughts are irrational and show that I occasionally have trust issues with God on the matter. I am preparing myself now for that day, because it is something extremely important to me, even though I want it to happen in my early to mid twenties.

  5. Project Inspired

    Posted by HisPrincessWarior on May 12, 2015 at 15:34

    Gazillion now equals 4 😉 just kidding, but on a more serious note, and I am not normally the girl that posts comments like these 🙁 so bear with me; but some of us DESIRE to be married :/
    ALL my friends are either in relationships, engaged, getting married this summer, or having babies. I’m 22!! and my friends my age are already living what I desire to have someday, so this post was kind of like pouring salt in an open wound. and number 2 doesn’t work for me because
    However, I KNOW that wasn’t the intention 🙁 🙁 🙁 It’s just that some of us are really struggling with the DESIRE to be married when that’s not what God has for us right now 😉
    #4 reminds me of a GOOOOOOD quote I heard once though! And it was made by a woman who desperately wanted a godly husband, children, family, but was nearly thirty. Her brother asked her “Krissy? Do you think God has called you to be single?” She thought about how that was a great desire of hers, yet it wasn’t God’s will for her RIGHT THEN AND THERE. Her response??
    “TODAY I am.” 🙂 <3

  6. DestyneeB

    Posted by DestyneeB on May 12, 2015 at 12:17

    I’m not obsessed because I am having a love fest with Jesus so whenever someone is supposed to come and join in worship they will.

  7. chariceeeeee

    Posted by chariceeeeee on May 11, 2015 at 22:54

    I love this!! And I really needed to hear it, especially number 2

  8. ChristianVoice

    Posted by ChristianVoice on May 11, 2015 at 17:15

    LOVE this! Thanks for posting! Refreshing : )

  9. patientlywaitingforGodsplan

    Posted by patientlywaitingforGodsplan on May 11, 2015 at 15:33

    I’m too young. Okay, sure, some girls are fine getting married at 18 but I’m not. I’m too immature as I can barely talk to guys, much less have deep, meaningful conversations with them about stuff that really matters. In addition, I’d rather focus on digging deeper into my relationship with God.

    I’m about to graduate, to enter a new phase of my life and guys would probably complicate things more. As college looms ever closer, I know that maybe I’ll meet someone there but I needn’t worry about such things yet. If I never get married, that’s fine. If it ends up that God wants me to be married, that’s fine too.

    Life is a roller coaster, a journey, a ride that won’t stop running until God calls me home, whether it be today, or when I’m 112 with a bunch of family around me. Only God knows what’ll happen but I pray that I can always trust him on this kind of stuff.

  10. Smylinggirl

    Posted by Smylinggirl on May 10, 2015 at 17:55

    Love this post; thank you Claire! I sometimes feel left out of the dating scene and feel lonely. I needed this. I know I’m not ready for marriage because I am not mentally ready to be a wife.