A Project Inspired Guide to Dating a Gentleman

    Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. (Proverbs 4:23)


    Here are a few tips to ensure you’re dating the right kind of gentleman:

    1. Never tolerate bad behavior in someone you’re dating. Dating gives you a glimpse into the future, and if someone can’t behave when he’s supposedly on his best behavior, chances are he’s not husband material. Don’t invest too much time in a guy who has issues with bad behavior. It’s not your job to fix anyone.

    2. If a guy doesn’t return your interest, move on. If a guy you’re interested in isn’t returning your attention, and he’s made it clear, it’s a sign that he’s not the one for you. You need to move on and not waste your precious time. Instead of focusing on a one-sided relationship, you could use the time you’re single to grow closer to God, trust His plan and stay on the path toward meeting the right guy for you.

    3. Don’t ask him out. I’m old-school here. I believe that if a guy can’t pursue you, how will the relationship work? You want someone who is willing to risk having his feelings out there and to take a chance in order to be with you, because that shows commitment and that he sees a future with you. It’s also biblical. In the Bible, it’s always the man who pursues the wife, and in many cases, he pursues her relentlessly. As in the Bible, if a relationship is meant to be, God will make it happen. There is no sense in forcing something that isn’t meant for you. You want a man who treats you with the kindness and loving protection of Boaz—who soon drops all the pretenses of Ruth working for him, and then goes out of his way later to make sure she can be his wife (see Ruth 4:1–12), and marries her.

    4. Be sure he is compassionate. Not only to you, but also to his own parents and strangers he meets. (Just remember, no one is perfect, not even your dream guy.) If he makes a mistake, is he willing to admit it? That’s a good sign.

    I have a lot more dating tips in my new book, but these are a few good places to start when looking for your future husband. You are a daughter of the King, and you deserve to be treated with loving kindness.

    For more dating advice, be sure to pick up a copy of my brand-new book at your local bookstore or online!

    Nicole Weider is a Salem, Oregon native who moved to Los Angeles and quickly found success as a fashion model at the age of 17. Today, Nicole is an active wife, mom, producer, actress and author and has made it her mission to share her personal story, the bright moments and the challenges, with young women around the world.


    1. So I don’t get some of the things in 3. For starters, if it’s meant to be and God will make it happen, doesn’t that imply neither earthly party is pursuing the other, or forcing it to happen? It also sends a message that when a man says no, that’s the final word on a relationship. When a woman says no, it’s the beginning of a negotiation (from “it is always the man that pursues the woman, often pursuing her relentlessly.”) This concept is a bit too problematic for me to accept blindly.

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