Singleness is often seen as being a lesser calling than marriage – as if when you are in a season of singleness, you have less going for you than if you were married. Many myths contribute to this common belief, but one of the most prevalent may be the stigma our culture places on being alone, as if loneliness and being alone were a curse. What we have to understand, however, is that our options are not either being lonely or being married.
Singleness can be just as rich of a season in terms of friendship, community, and camaraderie as marriage can be. Ultimately, whether you are married or single, your first fulfillment, companionship, and fellowship is to come from Christ, anyway – not your spouse, significant other, or best girlfriend. When we remember this, we can stop viewing being alone as a curse and instead view it as something to drive us to the Lord more and more in fellowship and growing intimacy.
Being alone doesn’t have to mean you’re lonely.
Many single gals have the idea that if they are single then that must mean they will always be lonely. Yet this is not at all what God intended. In fact, the Lord intended our single years, whether they last a very short time or for the rest of our lives, to be a time of unparalleled fellowship and intimacy with Him. Paul taught on this in 1 Corinthians 7:34-35, “There is a difference between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares about the things of the world—how she may please her husband. And this I say for your own profit, not that I may put a leash on you, but for what is proper, and that you may serve the Lord without distraction.”
Singleness and any season of loneliness or being alone should always serve to point us to Christ and be seen as an opportunity to grow the depth of our intimacy and fellowship with Him. It’s a gift if only we would see it as such.
You may be unmarried, but you are a part of the family of God, the body of Christ.
First Corinthians 12 is one of the most beautiful passages in the entire New Testament as it reveals the kind of relationship we are to have with one another as brothers and sisters in Christ. Verses 12-14 say, “For as the body is one and has many members, but all the members of that one body, being many, are one body, so also is Christ. For by one Spirit we were all baptized into one body—whether Jews or Greeks, whether slaves or free—and have all been made to drink into one Spirit. For in fact the body is not one member but many.” You see, if you are a believer, you are never truly alone. You have been grafted into the Body of Christ and, as such, have family members all over the world with whom you will spend eternity together in Heaven!
God intends for you to be in community.
We regularly hear Genesis 2:18 where God said it was not good for man to be alone quoted in the context of marriage. While such a use of the passage is certainly appropriate, I find that it is more far reaching than that to include God’s view that no one, married or single, is to be alone. Whether it’s Ecclesiastes 4 saying it’s woeful for someone to be alone when he falls and to have no one to pick him back up, Proverbs speaking about friends who are as iron that sharpens iron, or Hebrews 10 inspiring believers to assemble together, spurring one another on to faith and good works, it is clear throughout the Bible. God desires for us to be in community, doing life side-by-side together with fellow believers.
The Lord sets the solitary into families.
The words of Psalm 68:6b are so beautiful: “God sets the solitary in families.” As a single girl, you may not be married and raising a family of your own, but you are a part of the family of God. You likely have family members to invest in and do life with. You certainly are called to pursue community, take advantage of fellowship opportunities at your local church, and, of course, ultimately find your fulfillment and deepest longings for love met in Christ Himself.
No, you may be single, but you are never alone. Not in God’s economy!