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    Are You Setting The Right Example For Others When You Wear “Sexy” Clothes?

    As God’s daughter, you’re expected to be the leader in your circle of influence. It’s your responsibility to impact the lives of others in a positive way. You’re an Ambassador for God and all that you do and say should show that The Holy Spirit lives inside of you.

    So here’s a question for today. Is it okay to dress sexy and still be a Christian?

    Dictionary.com defines “sexy” the following way:

    • concerned predominantly or excessively with sex
    • sexually interesting or exciting
    • radiating sexuality

    So what does this mean? When you dress in a provocative manner, you’re allowing the world to look at you in a sexual way. You’re inviting impure thoughts and you’re influencing other girls, directly or indirectly, to engage in ungodly behavior.

    Many girls may say that they aren’t responsible for the thoughts or behavior of other people. Well, that’s only true to an extent.

    Jesus said to His disciples: “Things that cause people to stumble are bound to come, but woe to anyone through whom they come” (Luke 17:1.)

    We are very much our brothers’ and sisters’ keepers! If you knowingly dress in a way that God disapproves of and others follow your example, then are you being the leader that God has called you to be?

    You’re God’s daughter! This means that you’re holy and God expects you to present yourself in a holy manner.

    Brothers and sisters, because of God’s compassion toward us, I encourage you to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, dedicated to God and pleasing to him. This kind of worship is appropriate for you. Don’t become like the people of this world. Instead, change the way you think. Then you will always be able to determine what God really wants—what is good, pleasing, and perfect. (Romans 12:1-2)

    Short shorts, mini shirts and barely visible shirts are not appropriate attire for Christians.

    Now, it IS appropriate to dress nicely. It IS okay to present yourself in a well-groomed and attractive manner. It IS okay to want to appear attractive to boys. However, you’re much more beautiful when you dress in a way that emphasizes your Godliness.

    After all, if Christians dress inappropriately, then what are we teaching the rest of the world?

    What are your thoughts, ladies?

    Aysha Ives
    Aysha Ives loves God with her whole heart and has a desire to help hurting people. With a Masters Degree in Psychology, she combines her education and experience with her love for God to help people live whole and fulfilled lives. Aysha is an Author, Mental Health Provider, Youth Church Teacher, and the mother of one gifted little boy whom she absolutely adores. Aysha is honored to be able to share her love of God with Project Inspired readers. Aysha is also the author of God Cares About Your Stuff: How To Believe For Tomorrow When Things Look Utterly, Completely, And Totally Impossible Today, released February 2013- Available at Amazon.


    1. great article! dressing that way definitely sets a bad example for others. It also destroys relationships with other girls…you see your friend in immodest clothes, next thing you know you’re jealous of her body…see how destructive a path this is?!

    2. I think about it this way… If it ain’t on the menu, keep it covered up!
      I think that we make our brothers in Christ stumble when we wear very low v-necks, short shorts, tight shirts, tube tops, and other things that show a lot of leg and cleavage. We are totally telling them that you are ready to have sex. And I dont like that. My girls in Christ:
      Keep covered up because then you will find a man that loves you for who you are, not for what you are showing. 🙂

      • Thank you!!! I go to a Christian school and we were spoken to about this, and one of the girls kept saying “It’s not my problem that boys are pigs”. it is our bodies that are provoking the young men. Not the young men. If we set the bar the guys will meet us there. It’s not about US. there is a verse in the bible that even says “it’s not about me” if you feel pretty dressing like that, remind yourself that you are protecting the youngmen’s integrity.

    3. People say that you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, but that is not true. People are going to judge you before they meet you, and their first impression should be that you are a Christian. or at least, not that you’re a slut.
      this also goes for dressing sloppy. God made us all beautiful, and there is no reason to dress that down. i disdain the new fad of “deliberately messy”. what you look like outside should also reflect who you are, and what you are on the inside, and if we are Christians, with God inside of us, then we should not be like that either.

        • I read somewhere that guys (because you can still see the outline of your legs) cans till stumble. So I personally avoid that. But ultimately it is your choice! 🙂

        • Think about it like this: You’re not allowed to walk around in your bra and underwear because that would be inappropriate. What’s the difference of wearing a bikini? it’s the same thing, yet maybe skimpier. It shows a LOT of flesh… cleavage, leg, tummy, arms… a lot of the things you DONT want to be showing if you want to represent Christ. Keep it covered up. There’s some great websites that show modest swimwear. They’re great, even though they may be a little pricey. 🙂

    4. my mom never let me wear short shorts… sometimes i felt really different. i got one pair and they were a great length, not barely cut off to my butt, but not knee length either, but still modest… i love them and i try to dress modestly all the times, meaning i don’t wear undershirts to school or come out with daisy dukes. i hate it when girls are like that… when you are ready to date, let the boys want you for who you are!!! not what you weaR!!!!

    5. I also feel like people forget that there is a difference between dressing modestly and dressing like a nun; I believe that’s part of the reason why modesty is so often shunned in our culture. We Christian girls should know better, though, so we should all set the right example! 🙂

      • Well said. I completely agree! I, for one, wear short shorts–though not the shortest ones out there. Mine are all a length that i feel like is comfortable and not too revealing. And I have mini-skirts, but not very short mini-skirts. And I typically wear leggings with them anyway. If I have a low top, I wear something under it. I think that people put a little bit too much stress on appearance, I know a lot of decent people who dress..interestingly. We should still be modest, obviously, but like you said, there’s a difference between dressing like a nun and modesty 🙂

        • I agree. I think you should dress in a way that makes you feel comfortable and I wouldnt judge that somebody is a slut because of what they wore. But great article. I think that what I took away from it is that you should understand that you should dress in the way you want people to see you. In most of our cases – daughters of God!

        • I completely agree! besides, have you ever tried to run/work out in longer shorts? it’s not very comfortable 😛

        • That’s what I do. Layering for God! 🙂 So many people also wear gold, pearls, braided hear, and costly clothing, which goes against 1 Timothy 2!!! God bless and may these people stop!!!

        • I understand this. My youth pastor used to do this test all the time: When you’re wearing your short shorts or miniskirts, put your arms to your sides in a relaxed way. If your middle finger touches the bottom of the fabric of the shorts, you’re okay. If it’s shorter than that, you’re in trouble. It’s going to cause your brother in Christ to stumble. I am one that dresses modestly. All of my shorts go to my knees and maybe a little farther than that. My shirts always cover up, and if I do have some shirts that have a low cut part, I always put a white t-shirt under it or a covering tank- top under it. I seriously could NOT wear short shorts and a low cut tank top. I know God wants us to be fashionable, and I see nothing wrong with that. I dont really think that we should ‘market’ ourselves with short shorts, tube tops, low tank tops, tight shirts, tight jeans, midriff showing shirts. I think that being modest is one of the only ways you’re going to attract a guy that will actually like you for YOU, not for what you’re wearing.

    6. At a small group with my church, as well as one with a small christian club at my school we talked about this! I totally agree, we do not want to make others think this is the way Christians dress, because that is not the attitude we wish to share. I am not to judge on another, but God does not want us to do anything to cause our brothers, or sisters in Christ to stumble.

    7. In the must-read book, “Guys are Waffles, girls are Spaghetti” it says that body language is a really big deal and that people will judge you by how you dress. And that just because you dress in a “cute” way, a boy may not agree to you. Actions speak louder than words. So stay modest!! (And really, you can still be fashionable and still be modest. Nicole is a great example!)

    8. Thank you for this article! It is wonderful! I have to say that I completely agree with you on everything. I have thought about this before. There were a few girls that used to go to my school, at times they would dress in revealing clothing that would just be pushing the dress code, and I thought that it was rude and immodest. As Christians, how could they dress like that?! How can any Christian girl even consider to dress immodestly! It is unpleasing to God! I know I wouldn’t want to upset God! I care about how I dress and how others see me, especially guys. I don’t want to cause a brother in Christ to stumble by what I am wearing! I am grateful for my strict dress code at my Christian school, because it helps me a lot in my everyday life. I will let you know two of them that have helped me. The first one is that your top (shirt, dress, etc.) is to be three fingers from your collarbone, and not any lower! The second is to wear capris, shorts, skirts,no shorter than three inches above the knee! Hope this helps! I agree with Rachel, in that modest clothing is cute! Plus, it honors God! Yippee!

    9. SO TRUE. i am so angered at the innapropriate clothing choices females are making these days. In their minds, they just want people to think theyre sexy. But in my mind, every time one passes, im worried about my fiance looking, causing jealousy, and insecurity in ME and in my relationship. This world is rough. LADIES FOLLOW THIS ARTICLE’S ADVICE!!! MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE FOR YOURSELF, FOR OTHER FEMALES AND THEIR RELATIONSHIPS!!

    10. Some people are protesting for the EXACT OPPOSITE cause a while ago, here’s the article, “Rod Dreher:
      Thousands of young women have taken to the streets in what has come to be called “SlutWalk” protests. In cities around the world, female demonstrators have been coming together dressed in scanty clothing to make a statement about rape. Responding to a Toronto cop’s telling women they “should avoid dressing like sluts in order not to be victimized,” protesters insist that female victims of sexual assault should not be blamed for their attack.

      They’re right. Nothing, and I mean nothing, justifies sexual assault. Not even a little bit. If that were the only message of this movement, it would be impossible for decent people to disagree.

      But the SlutWalk protests are stunningly naïve… The idea that women can go wherever they like, at whatever time they like, dressed to convey sexual availability, and yet enjoy complete freedom from male sexual aggression, defies common sense.

      You can’t dress like a prostitute, which is by definition a woman who wishes to advertise her sexual potential to males, then be shocked when men react to you as if you were, golly, a prostitute. To lay claim to the edgy, transgressive allure of the slut, but deny that the slut exists, is to live with a fragile cognitive dissonance that is far removed from the real world.

      This world has always been a jungle when it comes to sex and sexuality. The prime task of civilization has been yoking the sexual instinct to a higher ethic, so it can be constructive of human community, not destructive. Religion historically plays the central role in establishing and enforcing norms of sexual behavior. Sometimes this can go much too far, as we see in the anti-woman cruelty of fundamentalist Muslims. But in general, religious prohibitions on wanton sexuality serve as a stabilizing social force.

      Today’s young Americans come of age in a culture that views the old Christian standards as repressive. Pornography is now ubiquitous and mainstream. Rap music routinely celebrates a view of sex that sees women as whores, and valorizes the men who use them. Tween couture now trafficks in fashion tropes associated with prostitution. The most popular TV show among teenagers and young adults is “Jersey Shore,” a reality show about low-class nitwits who get drunk and have sex.

      And yet, these young women expect to present themselves in this hypereroticized sexual milieu in clothing designed to telegraph sexual availability, yet not face any threat of aggressive male sexual behavior? To call this bizarre and stupid is not to stand up for would-be rapists, but rather to recognize the world for what it is –though we can discourage the worst behavior through law and custom.

      Anyone who suggested that a person should be able to walk through a slum wearing designer clothing and sporting a fat wallet without being set upon by thieves would be correct in theory –mugging is a repugnant crime of violence– but would be a fool in practice.

      Is it so different when it comes to sex and the visual codes we use to signal sexual interest or vulnerability? If my daughter, when older, doesn’t have the self-respect to dress modestly, she should at least have the good sense to do so.

      The problem, I think, is that the educated middle class cannot bring itself to accept an inconvenient truth about human sexual behavior. “If sex is removed from religious and social institutions, then it must be considered in the context of nature,” Paglia once wrote.”

      • This is very well thought out, and I agree with you on everything. I am 16 and I dont dress immodestly. I think it feels weird if you’re not covered up. I have been brought up modestly and I understand that I need to dress modestly if I am to attract a guy that will want me for me someday, not me for what I can give him or what I look like.

    11. This is so great! Just last night I was talking to a girl at church about this because I felt led to. She totally blew me off but a deacon heard me and later that night called me and said I did a good job! Thank you for this article! Also a good book to read on this subject is Secret Keepers by Dannah Gresh 🙂

    12. This article is soooo true. Thanks for sharing!! Here is a quote by Emma Watson (she plays Hermione in the Harry Potter movies) and I think it’s awesome that she stands out as classy and a great role model:
      “I find the whole concept of being ‘sexy’ embarrassing and confusing. If I do an interview with photographs people desperately want to change me – dye my hair blonder, pluck my eyebrows, give me a fringe. Then there’s the choice of clothes. I know everyone wants a picture of me in a mini-skirt. But that’s not me. I feel uncomfortable. I’d never go out in a mini-skirt. It’s nothing to do with protecting the Hermione image. I wouldn’t do that. Personally, I don’t actually think it’s even that sexy. What’s sexy about saying, ‘I’m here with my boobs out and a short skirt, have a look at everything I’ve got?’ My idea of sexy is that less is more. The less you reveal the more people can wonder.” – Emma Watson

      • I respectfully disagree. It is young men who are taught to sexualize women. “Our bodies” are not objects. I am not accountable for someone else’s thoughts or actions. We are all only held accountable for our own feelings, thoughts and actions.

    13. I think modesty is all relative to where you are & who you are with. I’m on a swim team. I HAVE to wear “short” shorts to work out & my swimsuits are all super tight! Like, two sizes smaller than what you would normally wear tight! We are all great friends & yes we all know each other’s figures. It just comes with being a competitive swimmer. Guys wear speedos too. It doesn’t bother me because that is just how the sport is. In public, NO, I would not wear a super-tight swimsuit. In fact, it’s just plain uncomfortable 😛

    14. That is so true. Girls we need not for the boys to think things about us. And if we dress in things that revil parts of our bodies they are going to thinks things. I for one won’t wear shorts and skirt that come up to my butt and shirts that show what is not to be shown. The true is that boys will respect you more if you cover your self.

    15. Some girls dress in really revealing clothes to get the guys, but in my opinion, If you want guy to be attracted to your clothes/outward appearance then you need to raise your expectations. Modest is hottest!!!

    16. I totally agree with this article because if you tell everyone that your a Christian but dress sexually then you are getting the wrong attention. I do wear mini skirts but I always wear leggings or tights underneath them and I know whem they are getting “too short”.

    17. I used to dress “sexy” before I got saved, and always attracted the wrongs guys into my life. But, after I got saved, I began to realize why I always attracted the wrong guys into my life. Now I am very very careful about the stuff I wear 🙂

      Therefore, I love this article Aysha 🙂 God Bless ya hun 🙂

    18. Great article! I remember one time me and my mom were passing the front of a store in our car and there was this girl in front of it that was wearing this small tank top and these super short/tight jean shorts. It was really immodest and gave off the wrong message. :/
      Some of my shirts are a little low cut, but I try to pull them up as much as I can. Also, I uh……. am a bit large in the chest area. So sometimes it’s kinda hard to find clothes that don’t accentuate that area at least a little bit.

    19. we talked about this at my school.(all the boys were gone and all the men left the room)The principle showed us a bunch of unmodest clothes that people wear and told us why they were inmodest. Then she showed us clothes that were cute but modest. I hate how most dresses and skirts are way to short. I think that for skirts and dresses you should make sure they go to your knees and I like to wear athletic shorts under skirts and dresses just in case. Some people dont get that clothes dont have to be super short or see through or revealing to be cute. I really like lace and i want to know if shirts that have lace all down the back (kind of see through) are ok if you wear a cami or tank top or something underneath.

    20. Ok answer to prayer! Thank you! I have really been struggling lately with my wardrobe. It takes me 30 minutes to get dressed in the morning because I will try something on and feel like it is not appropriate. My main problem is jeans. I CAN NOT TELL THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN JEANS THAT FIT OR IF THEY ARE TOO TIGHT. I think all of my jeans that are not saggy in the rear are too tight… and I am not a super-conservative nun either!! When guys are staring at or comment on my rear (omg this is akward) that makes me think that my jeans are inappropriate and that is the last thing I want to be displaying as a self-confident Christian girl. But I also think that saggy-bottom jeans do not look “well- groomed” or “attractive” (as Aysha J. Ives quotes as “okay”)Help!

    21. I totally agree. And thank goodness I have an amazing Christian guy friend that watches out for me and tells me if something I’m wearing is out of bounds and what I should do to fix it next time! I’m so thankful to him(:

    22. Hello! I’m Katie! I’m 6 years old and I COMPLETELY LOOK UP TO Nicole Sione.
      I don’t want to be a hater, attacking or judging anyone. I just have a question.
      If Nicole let Aysha (I love Aysha. I have a couple quotes by her on my facebook profile) put this article on HER website, that means she must agree with it 100%, right? Well, that makes me wonder. How can she advocate dressing in “non-sexy” clothes when she poses in her underwear for Victoria’s Secret? It doesn’t make sense to me. please answer my question Nicole, because I’m very confused. I don’t want to accuse, and especially not before I know all the facts, so please set me straight. I love you Nicole.

    23. My friend was reading this book and she told me that in one part it said, ” ‘Many girls may say that they aren’t responsible for the thoughts or behavior of other people.’ It may be the style to dress like that, but the bible says not to be a stumbling block for your brothers. (1 Corinthians 8:9)” Plus, along with that definition that you gave, when girls dress like that and are letting their cleavage show, that is dressing like a whore, and do you want to be viewed as a whore? Again, it may be the style of these days, but the bible says not to be a stumbling block. Keep covered girls 🙂 This goes for me too!!

    24. WOW!!! GIRL ON THE SPOT!!!! I was beginning to think there is no one else out there thinking this way!! im allllll with you!!!
      We teach our girls at our church, from 1 year old to 90, dress modestly!!! dont flaunt! God created our bodies for ONE man, and we have to set an example to the world. so many christians go with the flow and dress like the world and worldly fashions, yet if we as christians dress the same as the world, what do we have to offer them?? The Bible says come out from amoung them and be different…so we have to offer the world something else than lust, provocotivness and sexuality…we have to offer them PURITY!!! HOLINESS!!
      You go girl!!!

        • ohh Im sorry I guess you didnt get it so Ill just say it all again. My name is Katie and Im 6 years old. I dont have alot of pepol to look up to. You confuse Me. You say to dress modestly and to not wear “sexy” clothes, but then you pose in your underwaer for Victorias secret. I dont want to judge or be a hater but I’m just really confused and It dosent mkae sence to Me. I dont have alot of pepol to look up to.

        • Katie! you are such a little angel. You can’t possibly be 6 years old! I posed in my underwear for Victorias Secret 5 years ago, when I was busy modeling and trying to “fit in” and I didn’t have God at the time. I was so focused on what I thought people wanted me to look like, because in the devil’s playground they don’t care about your personality, and sin is rampant because the devil is strong there. I didn’t know what my purpose was, and I was heading in the wrong direction. Since then, I have found Jesus and he has wiped away my sins, and my mind has been transformed. I hope that helps you! I would love to be your role model Katie! You are so precious!

    25. i love this article, as mentioned, it is a bad example to be dressing like this. Lets pray for these girls and women who already are doing this, most of them have a low self confidence and a sense self worth and feel the need to dress like this.

    26. This artical is great! I think it is definately something ALL girls should read. We have to remember that if we dress immodestly, not only are we putting our stamp of approval for other girls to dress innapropriatly, but we are making it harder for guys to keep thier minds and thoughts pure. Their are ways to dress cute and attractive while still being modest. And remember that if guys are giving you attention just bcause of the way you dress, it probably isn’t good attention. That doesn’t mean it is wrong if boys think your pretty or cute, but if the only reason they like you is because you wear reveling clothing, you might want to rethink what is in your closet.

    27. Here’s something cool I learned about on the Today show today (10/14/2011): ever since Kate Middleton has become ever-so popular–with her simple clothes and bold hats–people *hopefully* have been copying her style. And just because they are millionaires who can afford to shop designers, they choose to buy their clothes cheep. And it’s a lesson we all should learn, because who can afford clothes that are hundreds of dollars each item?

    28. which is why I cant BELIEVE so-called “Christian” celebrities like Anne Hathaway, Demi Lovato, Jane Russell, etc. dress so promiscuously! it’s disgusting, yet they’re beloved!

      I know a girl who CLAIMS to be a Catholic, but her actions say anything but (but I wont dig into how). she has very large breasts and literally ALL of her pics show cleavage, sometimes even her face isn’t in them. she says “if you got it, flaunt it”. I’m like wow, how nice is it having NO respect for you or your body at all? but the sad part is with desperately insecure people like this, there is no getting through to them. with me, anyway.

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