Quiz: Are Your Friends Pulling You Up or Bringing You Down?

    It’s important that you surround yourself with positive people! So, how do you know if your friends are pulling you up or bringing you down? Take this “yes/no” quiz to find out!


    1. When you’re with your friends, do you feel comfortable expressing your individuality?
    2. Do your friends talk about positive things and avoid gossiping about others?
    3. Do your friends compliment you for things that you do well?
    4. Are your friends supportive when you’re going through hard times?
    5. Do you find that your friends are honest without being overly critical?
    6. Can you confide in your friends without worrying that everyone in school will know your secrets the next day?
    7. Can you have fun with your friends without fearing that you might end up getting into trouble?
    8. Do your friends encourage you to do what’s right, even when it’s hard?
    9. Do your friends get excited about things that are important to you?
    10. Do your friends love God and respect your relationship with Him?

    Okay, let’s count up your “yes” responses to see if your friends are pulling you up or bringing you down.

    Quiz Results

    8-10 “yes” responses means:

    You have a great circle of friends! It seems that you’re helping one another succeed in life. Continue to surround yourself with positive people!

    5-7 “yes” responses means:

    Sometimes you’re in great company, but there may be a frenemy hiding in the bunch. Maybe you should take a moment to assess your true friends. If a “friend” is bringing you down, you might want to consider removing that toxic relationship from your friendship circle.

    4 or Less “yes” responses means:

    Your responses seem to reflect that your “friends” are bringing you down, so you may want to re-evaluate them The people you choose to surround yourself with should be positive people who build you up! If they’re not doing that, then it’s probably a toxic situation.

    Remember, this is just for fun and isn’t a scientific poll. Rely on The Holy Spirit for all things–He’ll let you know if you need to make better choices when it comes to friends. If it feels wrong, it probably is!


    All of your relationships should be healthy ones. If you find that a friendship is negatively affecting you in any way, then it’s time to take a moment to reassess the friendship. Building Healthier Relationships Part 1: Identifying Toxic Relationships offers five ways to identify toxic relationships and Building Healthier Relationships Part 2: Five Steps to Removing Toxic Relationships shares way to remove those unhealthy relationships from your life. Remember, YOU are God’s daughter, and you deserve healthy and happy friendships.

    So, are YOUR friends pulling you up or bringing you down?

    Aysha Ives
    Aysha Ives loves God with her whole heart and has a desire to help hurting people. With a Masters Degree in Psychology, she combines her education and experience with her love for God to help people live whole and fulfilled lives. Aysha is an Author, Mental Health Provider, Youth Church Teacher, and the mother of one gifted little boy whom she absolutely adores. Aysha is honored to be able to share her love of God with Project Inspired readers. Aysha is also the author of God Cares About Your Stuff: How To Believe For Tomorrow When Things Look Utterly, Completely, And Totally Impossible Today, released February 2013- Available at Amazon.


    1. I have a group of friends that’s really not about God. We do have a couple of Christians in the group(me and my BGF Josh) but the rest are of this world. They grind at parties and do other stuff. They make jokes about sex and drugs and other things.
      But on the upside is that when I was dumped last year by a guy who I thought was nice, they made me feel better and helped me through it. And I do try to influence to them at school and they do seem to get it. Are they pulling me down or bringing me up?

    2. i only like 2 of my freinds the rest i only hang out with because they’re friends with my two best buds. But they all never get exited for me, and they’re not very close to God. I have trouble finding people who i could give 10 out of 10 in the world, and it makes me sad.

    3. Oh my goodness. I’ve had a friend for a long time thats never really been my friend. But I got 1 yes. And it was the one about God. but it’s only half true. She is VERY self rightous always saying things like ‘What would Jesus do?’ But it’s not like I’m doing anything bad AT ALL! I’m doing whats right!!! She just doesn’t like it! I need help! She sets me up for bad stuff and she always manipulates everything so that she always gets her way! I’m only 12, and I have no idea what to tell her. Plz help!!! I really need to end our friendship before she does anything else to me! HELP!

      ~Laura (7th grade awesome person)

      • In my opinion, I don’t think she’s a friend worth having. Here’s my advice: just stay away from her. I don’t mean, like, run away every time you see her, I mean, you just don’t need to stick around her all the time. You could say hi, and you know, just casual stuff. And maybe you should try to find a real Christian friend.

      • I am also only 12, and there is a girl who is A LOT like the one you mentioned. My good (real) friend and I started to hang out with a different bunch. At first she was really mad because she wanted her own way, which is us hanging out with her. So I invited her to hang out with my bunch, and she did for a few days, but got unhappy and left, so I couldn’t take the blame. Now, she’s right where I want her–at an arm’s length. We still talk once in a while, but I don’t socialize or try to make sure I please her all the time, and I’m a lot happier that way. And yes, she’s a Christian, so I have to be nice to her. And yes, she does make Christian-ish comments kind of like the one you mentioned.

    4. Kasey has been my ‘best friend’ since the 6th grade, we are now Seniors in High School. In middle school we got along fine. We could joke around, go to ice skating class every week, do homework together, go over to each others houses every day after school and have a great time. But as the years went on, and I needed her more she never was there for me. Instead she started putting me down, talking to me in a rude manor, making fun of me infront of my friends and changing the subject when I would talk about Paul (our best guy friend who I fell in love with). Dont get me wrong, she was nice sometimes, and I think thats the part that got me. Why should I give up? I hate the thought of giving up on something, including a friendship. I would come home crying after Football practice (Both Kasey and I are the managers ) and tell my parents what was wrong, each time it being Kasey was mean to me. After a while my parents started saying ‘Kaitlyn, whats new? She is not a good friend, you deserve SO much better’ and I understood that I did, but I was scared that if I stoped being her life would be SO boring! Then last night I realized, how will my life be boring with out Kasey?! I have an amazing family, a big group of friends, my church, and God! Thats all I need! So insetad of having the mindset that my life would be boring with out her, I started thinking about how GREAT my life will be with out her. Anyone that has a friend that EVER treats you bad, I promise the best thing to do is let go.

    5. I used to have a circle of friends who really brought me down (i.e. making fun of my dreams of being a missionary, saying I would grow out of the “whole Jesus Freak thing” when I got older, etc.) One of them would be gossiping or joking about sex or something like that, and when I’d ask her to stop she’d hold up this itty bitty little cross necklace and say “Oh no, I ‘m not sinning, I believe in God.” or something like that. I started going out with this guy though who LOVESSSS Jesus to death (literally ;D) and so I started going to more Christian Youth events (like concerts and conferences and stuff) with him. My relationship with God just SKYROCKETED in this time period. One thing though.. Most of those “friends” didn’t like that I was starting to stand up for my God, other people, and myself. Then suddenly, They were leaving me. My best friend (the aforementioned one with the whole necklace thing) was completely HORRIBLE to my boyfriend, and before long, she was gone. They all were. But now I’ve got an amazing boyfriend, and better friends who I love, who love me too, and who are also striving to be everything God wants us to be. And overall, I’ve never felt more free. So.. yeah. That’s my testimony on the friendship subject 🙂 It’s proof (to me) that this world can’t give us anything (or anyone) better than what (or who) God has planned for us.

      (Wow this is long.. Bonus points for anyone who made it to the bottom :D)

    6. Some kids I use to socialize with in elementary school STILL think im friends with them and think im still that same girl. They think I will grind at a party on some guy etc. I went to a party to see a old friend (my old bff) and I KNEW she thought I would do what she was doing.I didnt talk to her the whole time.Her friends were looking at me like I didnt belong there.I honestly didnt.She cried saying no one is having fun,her friends ran over there to her to comfort her. I sat down and watched that and the whole party.I only talked to her mom’s bff the whole time.She was happy that I didnt do what they were doing,glad that my parents raised me that well.I had more respect for my body then that,now more then ever. I moved on from them,now I have some other “friends” I have to remove from my life.Im better without friends,actually happier.

    7. Monica is right. It’s so hard to find true Christian friends these days. In my circle of friends, only one of them is Christian and we’re not too close to be honest. I answered no to most of these and it’s kind of upsetting that I don’t have any friends I can really turn to. That’s why I rely only on my family and God during hard times. I try to witness to my friends and pray for them and be the kind of friend that I do eventually want.

    8. I lost a lot of friends when i became a Christian, i didn’t want to do what they were doing drinking have sex and doing drugs im positive if i didn’t have Jesus i would be just like them but the holy spirit changed me!

    9. I got 8 “yes’s”. There’s one friend that’s not a christian, but she would be ‘yes’ to all the questions here because she respects my beliefs. My best friend has been my best friend for seven years, and she is catholic. She didn’t even answer yes to all of these questions, like 2, and 8. For 2, sometimes she just needs to vent, because she’s not the kind of person who lashes out at the people she’s ticked at. And I patiently listen, and help her resolve the problem. For 8, she does this, but it doesn’t seem like she really knows what’s right when it comes to problems in my life. Because when I need help, I go to my Mom, or God. Or I just talk it out with God or write in my journal. I don’t usually bother my friends with stuff like that. So I guess I’ve never given her a chance to answer yes to 8.

    10. I scorced that 5 to 7 yeses and that leads me to my next question. School starts next week and I have a group of friends who I have to see all the time because we are in a cohord for early college (meaning we do everything together so that hopefully we will all graduate with an AA degree). So, Im extremely close to two girls, but it sometimes seems like they dont actually care about me. One of the girls made me cry in 6th grade and the first half of 7th grade and now says that since she got used to my annoyingness she doesnt mind me.Also, when I used to get beat up by some dudes she wouldnt do anything to stop it because she says that I have arms and legs and that she wont do anything until all items that I could use to defend myself were imbolized. The other girl and I have had spats in the past because if she disagrees with me she will be loud about it and tell me why I should believe what she believes.She also wont help me if some one is beating me up for the same reason. Another girl who Im friends with tried to fight me in 6th grade though now she denies it. She also acts offended when I call her mom, mom or call her my sister. She also brushes me off when she’s talking to someone else, but she wont let anybody else mess with me and tries to get me to toughen up because Im so sensitive. Another girl who I call my twin, makes me feel stupid because everything I do she has a problem with. This is due to the fact that I dont wear as cute clothes and sometimes I like to be werid and wear stuff that they dont like. A dude who I consider my friend always yells at me if I ask him a question that he doesnt like, but if he thinks I wearing something that will get me bullied he will pull me aside and tell me why he thinks I should take whatever it is off and he sometimes calls me his little sister, but he sometimes act like I annoy him.Those are my close close friends and the rest of the cohard dont act like they like me and dont want me to touch them and sometimes laugh at me. So basically my question is are my close friends really friends and what should I do because that cohard is the only cohard in my grade level?

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