Ask Aysha: Are Promise Rings Okay?
Written by Aysha Ives | January 11, 2013
I’m a freshman in college and my boyfriend wants to give me a promise ring. Are promise rings okay for Christians?
It sounds like you and your boyfriend are pretty committed to your relationship. That’s great–being fully committed is important in order for any kind of relationship to flourish. However, it also seems that your attention is divided as you focus on finishing college. This makes sense, because it’s also important to focus on completing your educational goals.
Since we’re on assignment on Earth, God wants us to be intentional about everything we do, including our relationships. If you truly believe your boyfriend is the person God has assigned to you as your husband, then a promise ring is okay. However, you should be sure you’ve heard from God about the situation before accepting the ring. Although it’s not a formal engagement, a promise ring does represent intention and it shouldn’t be taken lightly. Leviticus 19:11 says this:
Do not deceive one another.
There’s nothing wrong with accepting a promise ring, but you may want to consider the following before doing so:
- Have you consulted God? Has God indicated to you that your boyfriend is your future husband? If God has confirmed it, then great, go ahead and accept the promise ring–it’s only a matter of time before marriage. However, if you haven’t gotten confirmation yet, perhaps you should hold off on that promise ring. If it’s meant to be, it’ll happen, but it might be better to pump the brakes until you hear from God.
- Will the commitment interfere with school? Obviously, finishing college is important to you. Make sure that the level of commitment a promise ring brings won’t interfere with your academic pursuits.
- Is there any ulterior motive? Make sure your guy isn’t offering the promise ring for the wrong reason. Sometimes people will try to hold onto others if they feel insecure. Relationships require trust and the promise ring shouldn’t be a way to keep you from having (Godly) fun while at college. Also, make sure that your motives for wanting to accept the ring are pure. Don’t think that you have to take it in order to keep the relationship flourishing.
Whatever you decide to do, make sure that your intentions are honest and clear so that no one gets hurt.
What do you think about promise rings, girls?