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Ask Aysha: Does He Tease Me Because He Likes Me?

I have this guy friend I like a lot. He says my liking him isn’t a problem and even stops playing video games to come and talk to me. He also teases me a lot. When he was recently flirting with my best friend, he later told me that he was flirting with her just to make me mad. When people ask him if he likes me, he says “I’m not telling” or he just doesn’t respond at all. What do you think?

Guys sometimes can be pretty immature when it comes to girls. They might act a little goofy or try to “show off” to get attention. It’s not even unheard of for guys to tease girls to get noticed. What it boils down to is that some guys will behave in any number of ways to get the attention of girls!

However, when the “teasing” becomes mean-spirited, that’s when it becomes concerning. If a guy is behaving in a way that intentionally makes a girl jealous–especially if he knows that she likes him–then that may suggest he’s having fun at the expense of the girl’s feelings.

Also, when a guy knows that a girl likes him but refuses to acknowledge his feelings for her, it may be because he only wants a friendship. In fact, it seems he may be enjoying the attention, even if he’s not sure he wants to date her. That isn’t cool and it’s not Godly. Galatians 5:26 says this:

We must not make hard feelings among ourselves as Christians or make anyone jealous.

It seems like you may really like this guy, so this is probably a pretty tough situation to deal with. Here are some suggestions that might help:

  • Have a conversation. If you really want to know what he’s thinking or feeling, ask if you could chat with him alone. Of course, doing it in person is the best method because you’ll be able to see facial expressions. However, if that’s something that’s too hard for you to do, then give him a call. Keep in mind that this is not something you want to do by text or email unless you REALLY trust this guy. Remember, texts and emails can be forwarded to others.
  • Do NOT forget your worth! Regardless of what the outcome of the situation is, remember that you’re God’s girl! What that means is that you’re a precious gem–more valuable than rubies. Whether you end up dating this guy or remain friends, don’t forget that Christ determines your worth–not relationships.
  • Set boundaries. You shouldn’t allow a guy to mistreat you for fun and allow him to call it “just teasing.” Trying to make you angry or jealous isn’t a characteristic that you want from a boyfriend or even a friend. Don’t allow yourself to be in toxic relationships of any kind. Require guys to treat you with kindness and respect, or else you may want to consider not allowing them to be in your inner circle at all.
  • ALWAYS remember that God has the perfect guy for you! Pray about this situation. Ask God what direction you should take. If the relationship is meant to be, then God will reveal it to you. If it’s not meant to be, then He’ll reveal that to you, too. Whatever the outcome, God has the PERFECT guy that He’s grooming JUST FOR YOU!

The dating world can be a pretty slippery slope sometimes, but don’t forget how much God loves you. You deserve an awesome guy who focuses on reciprocating the same attention, kindness and love that you show him. Make sure that whatever guy that you choose to date loves Jesus and shows the same characteristics as Him. This doesn’t mean that you won’t ever disagree, but it does mean that he’ll be gentle with your heart.

What do you girls think? Do you have any other tips to share?

Image: Veer | Ocean Photography

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10 Comments

  1. Project Inspired

    Posted by wild101 on September 7, 2017 at 17:03

    this guy that I like thinks I’m pretty, and teases me a lot. sometimes we stare at each other and make weird faces. I’ve prayed to god about him… any advice?

  2. freedomlights

    Posted by freedomlights on January 26, 2014 at 17:31

    From personal experience, I can safely say that yes, most guys will tease the girl they like. If he’s worth dating, though, his teasing will only be good-natured and not cross the line of a sensitive topic (or at least if he accidentally does, he will be genuinely sorry for offending you). Make sure you always call on God for guidance in who you date, though––like others said, it saves a lot of hurt and heartbreak. (:

  3. Project Inspired

    Posted by daughteroftheking3 on July 22, 2013 at 16:39

    It’s so extremely common for boys to tease and even nag because they like you or want to get your attention. I’ve had a lot of experience with guys teasing me. I never discovered if he did because he was at my old school and I moved to homeschooling… Oh well just be sure to always remember Aysha’s wise words!!

  4. Nellie

    Posted by Nellie on January 6, 2013 at 18:30

    One of my guy friends is like that he said he likes to teases me and he also said he likes me. He always acts weird and then when i say “why’d you do that then” he just says “i did it for a reason” Im not really sure what that means but i assume its because he likes me….. (-.-)

  5. Project Inspired

    Posted by haley_nicole_4_Christ on January 6, 2013 at 12:22

    When I’m asked if I like a specific boy that I DO like, I usually say, “Not telling” because I really don’t want to tell!

  6. Paris

    Posted by Paris on January 5, 2013 at 21:03

    Make sure you ask God to reveal to you whether or not it’s a good idea to date him.It saves a lot of heartbreak.Trust me.

  7. DanieB

    Posted by DanieB on January 5, 2013 at 13:42

    Thats was exactly my question! This really helped me alot Thank You!!

  8. Project Inspired

    Posted by Horsealicious on January 4, 2013 at 19:55

    I suggest that all girls who have dreamed of their future Prince Charming should read these books: And the Bride Wore White by Dannah K. Gresh and Knight in Shining Armor by P. Bunny Wilson. They have made a HUGE difference in how I look forward to and envision my future husband. Both books help you to see what God’s plan is for you and how to make sure you follow it. They both give GREAT insight and preparation for becoming a good daughter of God so that when “Mr. Wright” Comes along, you’ll be prepared, know your boundaries and how to make sure you won’t cross them….. etc. They’re just packed full of good stuff! I encourage every girl to read them. (Including those who are already married or are in a relationship). =)

  9. PURPLECOWILOVEJESUS

    Posted by PURPLECOWILOVEJESUS on January 4, 2013 at 17:58

    It’s always difficult when u r really into a guy to see his flaws-but like everyone else he does have them. As girls, our emotional level can often cloud our judgement of a guy’s heart. So first off; do your friends like this guy? Do they warn u about him? If so-then this is probably not the guy for u. I get teased a lot by all my friends; some lovingly and others not so much. If you ever feel like crying about it though, then that is a HUGE problem. No one should ever make u cry because they “teased” you. Lines like “I was JUST KIDDING” are often cover-ups when someone was honestly trying to hurt you and then get weird looks or chewed out by your friends. Just remember that God loves you and He’s got the perfect guy out there for u. Whether or not this is him; I cannot say. Guy’s should be the first one to tell u they like you; if they don’t things get confusing and often mixed signals can break your heart. Don’t get caught in this trap. I know you probably really like this guy-and it’s great that he doesn’t care. It’s a ton harder when the guy does care and acts awkward around you. Just remember that if you are before or at teenage years that guy’s are EXTREMELY immature and that they are the biggest teasers. Watch yourself and make sure you are careful when you are in the middle of a crush; don’t say or do anything you will regret later. I hope this helps-I’ve learned that most often these tips have helped in my life and some of them I learned from doing the exact opposite. Don’t make the mistakes I made. God bless.

  10. designerlemonade

    Posted by designerlemonade on January 4, 2013 at 17:18

    This is true. If he’s just harmlessly teasing as in making a small joke, I guess that would be okay. But if he’s looking for a negative reaction from you, then it’s not good. I think having a convo is the best option – and you can tell him how uncomfortable you feel about it, which can make him see his behavior isn’t good.