Ask Aysha: Does He Tease Me Because He Likes Me?
Written by Aysha Ives | January 4, 2013
I have this guy friend I like a lot. He says my liking him isn’t a problem and even stops playing video games to come and talk to me. He also teases me a lot. When he was recently flirting with my best friend, he later told me that he was flirting with her just to make me mad. When people ask him if he likes me, he says “I’m not telling” or he just doesn’t respond at all. What do you think?
Guys sometimes can be pretty immature when it comes to girls. They might act a little goofy or try to “show off” to get attention. It’s not even unheard of for guys to tease girls to get noticed. What it boils down to is that some guys will behave in any number of ways to get the attention of girls!
However, when the “teasing” becomes mean-spirited, that’s when it becomes concerning. If a guy is behaving in a way that intentionally makes a girl jealous–especially if he knows that she likes him–then that may suggest he’s having fun at the expense of the girl’s feelings.
Also, when a guy knows that a girl likes him but refuses to acknowledge his feelings for her, it may be because he only wants a friendship. In fact, it seems he may be enjoying the attention, even if he’s not sure he wants to date her. That isn’t cool and it’s not Godly. Galatians 5:26 says this:
We must not make hard feelings among ourselves as Christians or make anyone jealous.
It seems like you may really like this guy, so this is probably a pretty tough situation to deal with. Here are some suggestions that might help:
- Have a conversation. If you really want to know what he’s thinking or feeling, ask if you could chat with him alone. Of course, doing it in person is the best method because you’ll be able to see facial expressions. However, if that’s something that’s too hard for you to do, then give him a call. Keep in mind that this is not something you want to do by text or email unless you REALLY trust this guy. Remember, texts and emails can be forwarded to others.
- Do NOT forget your worth! Regardless of what the outcome of the situation is, remember that you’re God’s girl! What that means is that you’re a precious gem–more valuable than rubies. Whether you end up dating this guy or remain friends, don’t forget that Christ determines your worth–not relationships.
- Set boundaries. You shouldn’t allow a guy to mistreat you for fun and allow him to call it “just teasing.” Trying to make you angry or jealous isn’t a characteristic that you want from a boyfriend or even a friend. Don’t allow yourself to be in toxic relationships of any kind. Require guys to treat you with kindness and respect, or else you may want to consider not allowing them to be in your inner circle at all.
- ALWAYS remember that God has the perfect guy for you! Pray about this situation. Ask God what direction you should take. If the relationship is meant to be, then God will reveal it to you. If it’s not meant to be, then He’ll reveal that to you, too. Whatever the outcome, God has the PERFECT guy that He’s grooming JUST FOR YOU!
The dating world can be a pretty slippery slope sometimes, but don’t forget how much God loves you. You deserve an awesome guy who focuses on reciprocating the same attention, kindness and love that you show him. Make sure that whatever guy that you choose to date loves Jesus and shows the same characteristics as Him. This doesn’t mean that you won’t ever disagree, but it does mean that he’ll be gentle with your heart.
What do you girls think? Do you have any other tips to share?