Ask Aysha: “Help! I Feel Like I’m Invisible to Guys!”

    I have a lot of guy friends but very few guys are actually interested in dating me. I know that God loves me and that He’ll send the perfect guy for me in time, but I have to admit that I really would like more guys to be interested in me. It’s especially hard to cope with when everyone around me is dating. Quite frankly, I’m feeling INVISIBLE. What should I do?

    I know it can be tough when you want to be in a relationship and things don’t seem to be aligning themselves the way you’d like. It can be especially difficult to be single during the spring and summer months, when it seems like everyone around you is in relationships. The warm weather combined with couples holding hands all around you can be heartwrenching when you long for the same type of experience. So what do you do when you start feeling invisible?

    Focus on YOU!

    I know this may sound like a clichéd answer, but it really is the best thing to do. What you don’t want to do is begin to feel self-pity or to keep telling yourself that you’re invisible, because then you’ll begin to emit that kind of energy into the atmosphere. Spirit attracts spirit, so if you’re feeling invisible or unworthy on a regular basis, then you’ll begin to attract people who’ll treat you like you’re invisible and unworthy.

    When you remind yourself of your GREATNESS and tell yourself you’re so special that God is taking extra time to make sure the guy that He eventually sends your way will be the perfect match for you, then you’ll avoid some unnecessary brokenness.

    It’s better to wait for God than to experience a relationship that could leave long-lasting hurts.

    When I was in high school and college, I wasn’t the most physically attractive person by society’s standards. I was pretty plump, my teeth were crooked and I felt invisible to guys. Unfortunately, I eventually began to attract people who didn’t value me because I didn’t really value myself. I’ve since learned that I’m more precious than rubies (Proverbs 31) and that God sometimes makes me wait because He wants His children to be the standard that the world looks up to.

    You may have to wait a little longer for the love of your life to find you, but maybe there’s a reason for it. Maybe God is trying to make YOU the standard in YOUR peer group! Wouldn’t it be something if God was trying to use you to show others the Godly way to have relationships? As people watch how God sends your guy to you and then how He prospers your relationship, He’ll get the glory through the blessing.

    Of course, it can be tough waiting on God, so I encourage you to do a few things as you wait:

    • Pray more so that God can give you the strength to endure and grow spiritually as you wait to find your Prince Charming.
    • Whenever you start feeling down, capture your thoughts and speak life into the situation. Remind yourself of your GREATNESS and speak Scripture that confirms this. Remember, “The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit” (Proverbs 18:21). You get what you say!
    • Don’t forget the purpose of Christian dating/courting. It shouldn’t be for recreation, but for finding your husband. Keep reminding yourself that God has the perfect guy for you and that you’ll find him when the time is right.
    • Don’t envy people who are in relationships. You don’t always know what’s going on in them, and besides, yours is on the way!
    • FOCUS ON YOU! Spend time loving yourself and making yourself better. This way, the energy that you emit into the atmosphere will draw back the positive aspects that you want from relationships.
    • Don’t forget about your girlfriends! Be sure to cultivate a circle of friends who love you and are there to give you support whenever you need them. And vice versa!

    Any other suggestions, girls?

    More Stories Like This on Project Inspired:

    Ask Aysha: “Is It Okay to Date My Best Friend’s Ex-Boyfriend?”
    Ask Aysha: “Are There Any Good Guys Left?”
    Ask Aysha: “Help! My Friends Keep Pressuring Me to Ask a Guy Out!”

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    Aysha Ives
    Aysha Ives loves God with her whole heart and has a desire to help hurting people. With a Masters Degree in Psychology, she combines her education and experience with her love for God to help people live whole and fulfilled lives. Aysha is an Author, Mental Health Provider, Youth Church Teacher, and the mother of one gifted little boy whom she absolutely adores. Aysha is honored to be able to share her love of God with Project Inspired readers. Aysha is also the author of God Cares About Your Stuff: How To Believe For Tomorrow When Things Look Utterly, Completely, And Totally Impossible Today, released February 2013- Available at Amazon.


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