Ask Aysha: “Help! My Friends Keep Pressuring Me to Ask a Guy Out!”
Written by Aysha Ives | March 22, 2013
I like this boy and I think he likes me. We haven’t talked about being in a relationship or anything, but we do spend a lot of time together. The problem is that my friends keep bugging me about asking him out even though I don’t feel comfortable doing that right now. They even make dirty jokes sometimes! What should I do to get my friends to stop pressuring me?
I’d like to commend you for deciding to take things slow with the boy you like. Relationships, whether they’re friendships or romantic, can be pretty tricky sometimes. Although I’m a firm believer that two people in a romantic relationship (especially marriage) should also be best friends, moving from a friendship to a relationship isn’t an action that should be taken lightly.
If telling your friend you like him isn’t something you’re ready to do, your friends should respect your decision and not pressure you to move too quickly. Here are a few tips that might help.
- Remind your friends that you consult God about decisions. Tell your friends that you’ve decided to let God guide every decision in your life. Let them know that you’re not going to be rushed into doing anything because your choices are based on what God says.
- Ask God for guidance. Since you’re allowing God to guide you in all areas of your life, then it makes sense to pray about it. Ask God to give you guidance about how to handle your friends. Also, when you’re feeling pressured, ask The Holy Spirit to give you the words to effectively respond to them. Jesus told His disciples in Luke 12:12, “The Holy Spirit will teach you at that time what you should say,” and the Holy Spirit will do the same for you in tough situations.
- Be open with your friends. Let your friends know that their pressure makes you feel uncomfortable and even dishonored. Remind them that, as your friends, they should respect you and honor your decision to not ask this guy out.
- Reconsider who’s in your friendship circle. If your friends continue to harass you, especially if they’re making dirty jokes, you may want to reconsider whether or not they should be a part of your inner circle. TRUE friends always choose to edify and uplift one another. If someone is trying to pull you down, then maybe you should spend some time away from her for awhile as you reevaluate whether or not you want to maintain the friendship.
- Don’t succumb to the peer pressure. If you feel like you’re going to make an improper decision to get your friends off of your back, put some space between you and your friends until you’re strong enough to resist it. The enemy will try to use anyone to get you to do things that may not be in your best interest at the time, and when that temptation occurs, the Bible says to flee from it. If your friends are your tempters, then spend some time by yourself or with others who aren’t pressuring you.
- Remember–if the relationship is meant to be, then it will happen! Don’t forget: If this is the guy that God has for you, then the relationship will absolutely blossom in time. Allow God to guide you and nurture your relationship, NOT your friends! Your friends may mean well, but be sure that your decisions have GOD’s stamp of approval!
What do you girls think? Do you have any other advice?
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