Ask Aysha: “How Can I Get My Boyfriend to Stop Being So Mean to Me?”
Written by Aysha Ives | April 25, 2013
My boyfriend has been really mean to me lately and sometimes he’s even a bit rough with me. He pushes me from time to time and sometimes I even end up a little bruised. I know that he loves me, but how can I get him to stop being so mean to me?
What you’re describing is abuse and it absolutely should NOT be tolerated in any way. You’re not a punching bag, nor do you deserve to be mistreated or talked down to in any way. Love does NOT hurt.
Christian dating or courting should be about finding a lifetime mate. Christians shouldn’t date the way the world dates, but should instead be dating with a purpose in mind. So when you’re in a romantic relationship with someone, ask yourself this question:
Is this someone who I can see myself spending the rest of my life with?
If the answer is no, then you should move on. If the answer is yes, then you should make sure God has given His stamp of approval on the relationship before moving forward. One way to help determine if the person you’re dating is a good fit for you, in addition to praying about it, is to determine if he’s consistently demonstrating Godly behavior. Seek out what the Bible has to say about husbands and then determine if this guy is a person who is worthy of you.
God says this to husbands:
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the Word, and to present her to Himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body (Ephesians 5:25-30).
Christ is the epitome of love! He was so concerned about mankind that He sacrificed His own life for the wellbeing of the Church. He exchanged His life for our lives. God would never demean you or physically hurt you–that kind of behavior comes from the enemy. So a person who is mistreating you emotionally and/or physically is NOT demonstrating agape love.
I understand that you love your boyfriend and breaking up with him may be quite difficult. However, you should never allow yourself to be in a position where you’re being harmed! God loves you and He wants the best for you. Allowing people to mistreat you is NOT God’s desire for your life. Please get help to get out of this unhealthy relationship!
Please know that I’m praying for your strength and healing, and so is all of Project Inspired. Also know that if you ask The Holy Spirit to help you, then He’ll comfort you and give you the strength that you need to heal from this relationship.
In addition, here are some other articles that might help:
Do you girls have any other encouraging words to add?