Ask Aysha: How Can I Talk to My Mom About When I’m Allowed to Date?

    How can I talk to my mom about when I’m allowed to date?

    I know it can be hard to talk to your mom about what’s going on in your life. You might think she’ll be upset with you for asking questions, or that she just won’t understand what you’re going through. So bringing up the issue of dating with your mother can be a pretty nerve-wracking and scary thing to do. But it’s important to communicate with her, so here are a few tips to help you talk to your mom about dating!

    • Recognize that it’s natural to want to date. God created males and females to be attracted to each other so that they will marry and create Godly families. However, God’s intention is for His people to eventually marry, so you should be mature enough to handle a relationship before entering into one. If your mom thinks you’re too young to date, there’s probably a good reason for it. However, if you disagree with her decision, take a moment to talk to your mom about it rather than being disobedient.
    • Know that your mother actually CAN help.  Believe it or not, your mother was your age once–and she knows EXACTLY the kinds of things that you’re experiencing right now. In fact, because they know how hard it is to be a teenager, moms generally WANT their kids to talk to them about what’s going on in their world. They may give advice or even say no sometimes, but it really is because they want the best for you.

    Keep in mind that parenting is a ministry, and God hand selected the mother who was given to you. He knows that your specific mom and dad have what it takes to help guide you to be the best YOU that you can be. If you can remember that your mother actually WANTS to help you, you’ll probably be more receptive to what she has to say–and less fearful about approaching her with your questions and issues.

    • Choose a good time to start the conversation. The best time to start a conversation is when your mother is relaxed and not too busy. Ask her if you can talk to her about something that’s important to you. If you’re not dating yet, let her know that you’re interested in knowing what the guidelines or rules are for dating when you do start.
    • Come to the conversation prepared. If you’re trying to convince your parents that you’re old enough to date, try writing down all of your questions or points that you want to make before you begin the discussion. That way you don’t forget anything important!
    • Most importantly, PRAY ABOUT IT! Ask God what you should say or do before you even begin the conversation. I’d even suggest praying with your mother before you start talking. Allow The Holy Spirit to direct you and you’ll be amazed at what a wonderful bonding moment it can be.

    Always remember that your mother has been appointed by God to help you be a better you. She wants to help and when you approach the conversation from that perspective, it will turn out so much better!

    Have you ever asked your parents about dating? How did it go? Do you have any other tips to add?

    Aysha Ives
    Aysha Ives loves God with her whole heart and has a desire to help hurting people. With a Masters Degree in Psychology, she combines her education and experience with her love for God to help people live whole and fulfilled lives. Aysha is an Author, Mental Health Provider, Youth Church Teacher, and the mother of one gifted little boy whom she absolutely adores. Aysha is honored to be able to share her love of God with Project Inspired readers. Aysha is also the author of God Cares About Your Stuff: How To Believe For Tomorrow When Things Look Utterly, Completely, And Totally Impossible Today, released February 2013- Available at Amazon.


    1. AAAAAAH! That was MY question!!! Thanks so much for answering it, Aysha! It was really helpful, and I think it will be helpful for talking to my mom about more than just dating. Thanks again! It really blessed me, and helped me.

    2. My mom has always said that my and my sister can date when we’re ready, just so long as like… my parents or his parents are there, or we can go in groups, like double dating. At least until we can drive ourselves.

    3. I was nervous the first time I asked my mom about dating, but only a little. I can be very open when I talk to my mom, and there’s very little I don’t talk to her about. I’ve pretty much matured past the point of caring if a subject might be embarrassing for either of us. I just ask :p

    4. Hey Aysha i’m 16 and can’t date till i’m 18. I’m not in the relationship with Jesus Christ that i know i should have. I am very insecure and really need new doors opened in my life. I would like to start dating before i’m 18 but i really need to know what you think. I did read the article above and it’s really helped a little bit.

    5. i’m only 13 i know i’m not ready to date yet but even if i was 17 my parents wouldn’t budge. i’m not allowed to date period like even if i was 26 and lived with my parents i wouldn’t be allowed to date .so when i think i’m ready i don’t know what to do because my parents wont change there mind and i know it would be wrong to date behind there backs so i don’t know what i should do. please help me any one if you can.

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