Ask Aysha: How Can I Talk to My Mom About When I’m Allowed to Date?
Written by Aysha Ives | December 13, 2012
How can I talk to my mom about when I’m allowed to date?
I know it can be hard to talk to your mom about what’s going on in your life. You might think she’ll be upset with you for asking questions, or that she just won’t understand what you’re going through. So bringing up the issue of dating with your mother can be a pretty nerve-wracking and scary thing to do. But it’s important to communicate with her, so here are a few tips to help you talk to your mom about dating!
- Recognize that it’s natural to want to date. God created males and females to be attracted to each other so that they will marry and create Godly families. However, God’s intention is for His people to eventually marry, so you should be mature enough to handle a relationship before entering into one. If your mom thinks you’re too young to date, there’s probably a good reason for it. However, if you disagree with her decision, take a moment to talk to your mom about it rather than being disobedient.
- Know that your mother actually CAN help. Believe it or not, your mother was your age once–and she knows EXACTLY the kinds of things that you’re experiencing right now. In fact, because they know how hard it is to be a teenager, moms generally WANT their kids to talk to them about what’s going on in their world. They may give advice or even say no sometimes, but it really is because they want the best for you.
Keep in mind that parenting is a ministry, and God hand selected the mother who was given to you. He knows that your specific mom and dad have what it takes to help guide you to be the best YOU that you can be. If you can remember that your mother actually WANTS to help you, you’ll probably be more receptive to what she has to say–and less fearful about approaching her with your questions and issues.
- Choose a good time to start the conversation. The best time to start a conversation is when your mother is relaxed and not too busy. Ask her if you can talk to her about something that’s important to you. If you’re not dating yet, let her know that you’re interested in knowing what the guidelines or rules are for dating when you do start.
- Come to the conversation prepared. If you’re trying to convince your parents that you’re old enough to date, try writing down all of your questions or points that you want to make before you begin the discussion. That way you don’t forget anything important!
- Most importantly, PRAY ABOUT IT! Ask God what you should say or do before you even begin the conversation. I’d even suggest praying with your mother before you start talking. Allow The Holy Spirit to direct you and you’ll be amazed at what a wonderful bonding moment it can be.
Always remember that your mother has been appointed by God to help you be a better you. She wants to help and when you approach the conversation from that perspective, it will turn out so much better!
Have you ever asked your parents about dating? How did it go? Do you have any other tips to add?