Ask Aysha: “How Do You Know If the Love Will Last?”

    How do I know if the love will last in a relationship?

    I completely understand the apprehension many girls have about entering relationships. They wonder if it’s TRUE LOVE and are concerned that the love might fade over time. You watch your friends break up, or you might even overhear one (or both) of your parents saying their spouse isn’t the same person that he/she was when they got married. So how do you know if a relationship is founded on true love and if it’ll really last?

    There’s a couple of things that you really should know about TRUE love. First of all, there are actually three types of love:

    • Eros: This is the warm and fuzzy feeling people experience when they first fall in love. It’s captivating and makes people feel like they’re walking on cloud nine. However, eros love is dependent on feeling and can dissipate when a person perceives that the other person has mistreated them in some way.
    • Philia: This is a kind of brotherly and sisterly love. You generally experience this type of love with friends, fellow church members and other people you like.
    • Agape: This is the all-encompassing love that will love even when people seem the most unlovable. This is the kind of love Jesus demonstrates and it’s the kind of love we should experience in marriage.

    Romantic relationships based only on eros may eventually disintegrate because eros alone doesn’t have enough substance to sustain the trials and tribulations of a relationship. Although eros is important to keep the attraction alive, the only way for a relationship or marriage to survive the tests of time is if both partners choose to demonstrate the agape kind of love. This kind of love is best described in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7:

    Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

    The only way to experience this kind of love is if God is in the midst of the relationship. It’s really important to pray before entering into a relationship with another person. And once the relationship gets God’s approval, then it’s extremely important to stay in fellowship with God. GOD IS LOVE, so He has to always be the third chord in your relationship in order for it to prosper and bloom!

    God created man and woman to be together in marriage so love is a beautiful experience. It can last a lifetime if both people are committed to God first and second to demonstrating the agape kind of love to his/her spouse.

    So what does agape love look like to you?

    More Stories Like This on Project Inspired:

    Ask Aysha: “Is He Busy? Or Is He Just Not Interested?”
    Ask Aysha: “I’m 17 and Don’t Want to Date! Is That Weird?”
    Ask Aysha: “How Do I Stop Thinking About My Crush?”

    Aysha Ives
    Aysha Ives loves God with her whole heart and has a desire to help hurting people. With a Masters Degree in Psychology, she combines her education and experience with her love for God to help people live whole and fulfilled lives. Aysha is an Author, Mental Health Provider, Youth Church Teacher, and the mother of one gifted little boy whom she absolutely adores. Aysha is honored to be able to share her love of God with Project Inspired readers. Aysha is also the author of God Cares About Your Stuff: How To Believe For Tomorrow When Things Look Utterly, Completely, And Totally Impossible Today, released February 2013- Available at Amazon.


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