Ask Aysha: “I’m Nervous Around the Guy I Like! What Should I Do?”
Written by Aysha Ives | January 24, 2013
I really like this guy, but I’m so nervous about talking to him that I hardly know what to do! Is there anything I can do to stop being so nervous around guys?
Getting up the nerve to talk to a guy when you really like him can be pretty nerve-wracking. You wonder what to say and you aren’t sure how to act. On top of all that, what if he doesn’t like you back? With all of this pressure, it’s not surprising that you’re struggling. But talking to guys doesn’t have to be so hard–here are some tips to help you out!
- Remember who you are. You’re God’s girl. This can’t be emphasized enough! Once you get a full understanding of how important you are to God, it won’t matter so much what other people say and think about you. It’s important to remember that even if things don’t work out between you and this guy, it doesn’t change how GREAT you are! So go ahead and strike up a conversation with him knowing that you “are fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14). God tells us not to fear hundreds of times in the Bible, so don’t let the fear of rejection stop you from stepping out and showing others how awesome you are!
- Focus on your strengths. Whenever you find yourself getting fearful about talking to your crush, remind yourself of all of your talents. Think about all the good characteristics you possess. Try using positive self talk to give yourself a quick pep talk when you’re about to initiate a conversation with this guy. When you remind yourself of your own greatness, it won’t be as hard to strike up a conversation.
- Start small. If you’re really on the shy side, then starting small may be best. Start with a simple “hello” or ask a question about a class assignment, Bible study lesson, directions, etc. until you feel more at ease talking to him. Soon you’ll realize that guys are human with strengths and weaknesses just like everyone else, and talking to him won’t be as intimidating.
- Keep in mind that guys get nervous, too. This may be surprising, but guys are just as nervous around girls as you are around them. Some guys say they’re MORE nervous than girls might realize. Guys try not to show how nervous they are in front of you, and if you keep this in mind, striking up a conversation won’t be so daunting.
- Practice talking to other guys. If talking to a guy you like seems unfathomable right now, then try practicing with guys you don’t like romantically. Make it a goal to talk to a different guy every day so that you can improve your conversational skills. Eventually, talking to boys will become second nature and you’ll be talking to the guy you like in no time. Watch out for a lot of flirting, though, because you don’t want someone to start having romantic feelings for you when you’re attracted to another guy.
- Continue to let your light shine and you’ll attract the right attention. As a child of God, pleasing God should always be your primary focus. Continue to demonstrate the love of Jesus to everyone you meet and people will always want to be in your presence. Even if things don’t work out with this guy, God will send the guy He has for you when the time is right.
Do you girls have anything other tips to add?