Ask Aysha: “Is He Busy? Or Is He Just Not Interested?”

    I went out with a guy about a month ago and had a great time. At the end of our date, he said that he’d try to answer my texts, but I haven’t heard from him since. Do you think he’s just busy or is he not interested?

    When you really like a guy and he stops communicating with you, it can be pretty hard to figure out what’s going on. You may be eagerly awaiting his text message, phone call or email and are probably quite disappointed each day that you don’t hear from him. It’s even worse when you reach out to him and he chooses not to respond to you. You might ask yourself, What’s going on? Is he busy? Is he not into me? Did I do something wrong?

    Well, the answer isn’t always that clear. There could be many factors that are contributing to the situation, but one thing is for sure:

     You’re God’s girl and you deserve to be treated with more respect!

    Okay, perhaps this guy is pretty busy, but does that excuse his behavior? When you have a lot to do, do you stop communicating with your friends completely? I’m sure that when you’re really busy, you still find time to have some level of communication with them. Likewise, if you know you’ll be unavailable, you’d probably let your friends know so they won’t expect to hear from you for awhile. That’s the Godly thing to do.

    Being non-responsive to people who reach out to you isn’t reflective of the love that Jesus commands us to demonstrate to others. Whether this guy wants to be in a relationship with you or not, it’s not okay to just leave people hanging like that. So, I encourage you to ask yourself this question:

    Is that really someone I want to be in a relationship with?

    Also, remember that every relationship doesn’t work out every time. If a relationship doesn’t blossom, remind yourself that God has already created your Price Charming! When the time is right, you’ll meet him. So it may be tough when the guy you like doesn’t answer your texts, calls or email, but that’s NOT a reflection of you. It just means that he’s not the right guy. In fact, you may have just avoided a bigger heartbreak later on.

    When guys disappoint us, girls sometimes feel a little depressed. But that’s not God’s desire for you! Remind yourself of your greatness and how much your future husband will cherish you. Spend some time pampering yourself while you’re healing. Maybe have a girls’ night or give yourself a manicure/pedicure. Explore some new hobbies or join new groups and organizations. And of course, spend more time praying and meditating on God’s Word.

    What do you ladies think? Have you ever been in this situation before? What did you do?

    More Stories Like This on Project Inspired:

    Ask Aysha: “I’m 17 and Don’t Want to Date! Is That Weird?”
    Ask Aysha: “How Do I Stop Thinking About My Crush?”
    Ask Aysha: “When It Comes to Kissing, How Far Is Too Far?”

    Aysha Ives
    Aysha Ives loves God with her whole heart and has a desire to help hurting people. With a Masters Degree in Psychology, she combines her education and experience with her love for God to help people live whole and fulfilled lives. Aysha is an Author, Mental Health Provider, Youth Church Teacher, and the mother of one gifted little boy whom she absolutely adores. Aysha is honored to be able to share her love of God with Project Inspired readers. Aysha is also the author of God Cares About Your Stuff: How To Believe For Tomorrow When Things Look Utterly, Completely, And Totally Impossible Today, released February 2013- Available at Amazon.


    1. Girls remember- it’s so important to continually put GOD first, and not a boy you have a crush on! You deserve to be treated like a princess so if he is ignoring you or not responding, he’s not the One that God has picked out for you!

    2. Oh gee. The same thing happened to me earlier this year. I genuinely thought this guy from college liked me. Over winter break, we talked all the time. He seemed so interested in me. But when we came back to school, we hardly ever spoke, and we live in the same dorm. At first I tried to initiate things but they never really went anywhere so I decided to just forget about it. And then I found out from a friend that he liked another girl anyway. Boys, even college ones, are truly something else.

      That being said, I’m actually glad it ended. I don’t want to be in a relationship right now, and getting someone to like me when I don’t want to date them is kind of rude. If someone treats you like that, you might want to re-evaluate why you want to be a in relationship with that person. God will never give you anyone who ignores or disrespects you. When a guy likes you, he will put effort in spending time with you (face to face!)

      • This is really helpful advice, it truly is. One thing though that I’m interested in is hearing this question answered from a guy’s perspective. I’ve asked a guy-friend about something like this, and he said “if he doesn’t even want to communicate, then it’s time to move on”. It was sad to hear, and I felt depressed for a while personally, but he had a good point. Although, like the article says, the answer isn’t always clear, I don’t think it’s good to be too judgmental and generalize when it comes to things like that, because you never really know until the truth comes out. It’s true that we deserve someone who will respect us and treat us right, so always keep that in mind. Pray, and like Aysha says, pamper yourself or explore new hobbies!

      • This is great! I’ve had a lot of guys ignore me over Facebook and I keep wondering what had happened. After a while of seeing things in their behavior I began to believe that these weren’t the guys that God had for me. 🙂

    3. I often find myself in these situations because of infatuation–we both like each other at first and can’t get enough of each other. But later on, it fades or just stops altogether. It hurts when it’s the guy who ends the communication–but I’ve been in the position where I’M initially ending it so I can sort of understand his perspective. When you don’t like someone anymore, that’s how it is. A good, solid friendship built over time has helped me determine if the relationship can go somewhere or if I’m just having a moment…and this friendship can take years but it’s worth it. And if the friendship never forms, it’s a sure thing to move on. Spent time to grow a steady relationship is better than a very quick relationship that leaves you in heartache. Of course, devote most of your time towards God and pray to Him for all things–especially when it comes to whom you date/court/marry!

    4. This is happing to me right know.we have been talking for a while and he is a busy guy but I mean he could send me a text to say hey I am going to be busy today so we can’t really talk. it makes me upset and my guy friends says I am overreacting am I?

    5. This is happening to me right now. We’ve had very short conversations in the past but for the past few months we’ve had actual conversations about random things and that’s what friends do haha. Now that school starts tomorrow for both of us and he’s taking a lot of classes (including college classes), I’m scared that we’re not going to be close friends anymore. He said that we’ll be going our own ways and that we won’t see each other as often when school starts. I’m scared that he’s going to ignore me. I’ve been rejected so many times and I don’t want to be rejected by one of my close friends. Am I overreacting?

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