Ask Aysha: Is It Okay to Want Guys to Like Me Even Though I Can’t Date Yet?
Written by Aysha Ives | December 5, 2012
Is it okay to want guys to like me, even though I can’t date yet?
It’s natural for girls to want guys to like them. In fact, God made it that way! God created males and females to be attracted to one another so that they’ll eventually get married and build God-fearing families together.
However, if you’re not dating, it’s not really fair to encourage guys to like you in a romantic way, because they could eventually get hurt. But it IS okay to get attention from guys in other ways–as long as the attention is healthy. Here are a few tips to help you maintain healthy relationships with guys when you’re not dating yet:
- Develop friendships. If you’re not dating yet, then don’t focus on romantic relationships. Instead, focus on building friendships. You’ll still get to interact with guys without complicating the situation. A bonus is that building friendships with guys now will help you learn how to feel more comfortable around them, which will help you tremendously when you ARE ready to date.
- Have fun. You don’t have to be formally dating to go on outings with guys. Grab a bunch of friends (girls and guys) and do something fun together. Spend some time getting to know some of the guys in the group. If you find one guy to be particularly interesting, then talk to him about his likes and dislikes and try to find some things you two have in common. You never know–an awesome friendship could emerge!
- Establish boundaries: If you’re not old enough to date or if you’re simply not into a guy, never EVER lead him to believe that a relationship will happen. Be clear that you only want a friendship and feel free to enjoy one another’s company. However, if you know that a guy really likes you in a romantic way, don’t spend a ton of time with him, especially if it involves a bunch of flirting. He may end up getting hurt. Remember, the Bible says:
“Do not deceive one another” (Leviticus 18:11).
- Don’t lower your standards. Girls sometimes wear skimpy clothing to get boys to notice them. But remember, you’re God’s girl and you want to always glorify God in ALL that you do. Believe me, the guy that God has for you will respect and love you for you, and a Godly man wouldn’t want his future wife wearing clothes that aren’t classy.
- Remember that God has someone special just for you. Remember, the purpose of Godly dating/courting is ultimately to find your husband. When the time is right, God will send him to you and he will lavish you with attention. Don’t spend too much time trying to get boys to like you, because the right one just will!
I know that it’s tough trying to balance friendships and relationships with guys when you’re not dating or courting. But these tips will give you the opportunity to interact with guys in a Godly, healthy way so that no one gets hurt!
Do you girls have any other tips?