Ask Aysha: “All My Friends Are Dating…and I’m Not! Now What?”
Written by Aysha Ives | January 17, 2013
My two best friends recently starting dating and now I’m the only one in my friend circle who doesn’t have a boyfriend. In fact, I’ve never dated or kissed a boy before. Although I’m proud that I’m saving myself, I do feel a little left out sometimes. So, what should I do while I’m waiting for my love story to begin?
It can be pretty tough when all of your friends are dating and you’re still waiting for your Prince Charming to show up. Your “Girls’ Nights” might become less frequent and it could start to get a little lonely at times. Although this isn’t an ideal situation, there are things you can do to get through this frustrating time. Here are some tips:
- Remember who you are. Your self-worth shouldn’t be determined by who you’re dating or if you’re dating. You’re God’s girl and He’s pleased you’re choosing to wait until the time is right to begin dating.
- Spend more time with God. God has given us the Holy Spirit to help us get through difficult times in our lives. When you’re feeling especially lonely, this would be a good time to fellowship with God. Pull out your Bible and read some passages that remind you about how special you are to God and how much He loves you. Or you could start a devotional. While you’re waiting to begin writing your own love story, spend some time learning more about God with a new Bible study.
- Meet new people. Of course you don’t want to stop being friends with your old friends just because they’re dating and you’re not, but you do want to find some peers to hang out with who have similar interests. If your current friends are spending most of their time with their new boyfriends, then you should focus on finding new and different things to do too. Find some girls (and guys) who are into some of the same things you are and have fun with some new people. Who knows–you might find your Prince Charming (if you’re interested in dating).
- Have STRICTLY GIRLS’ nights. Plan some girls’ nights with your friends with one rule–no guys (or talking about guys!) allowed. Spend time doing fun things, like manicures and pedicures, or watching movies. You might even want to turn it into a slumber party. However, it should be just about you girls having fun–without a bunch of conversation about boys.
- Set new goals. Choose some things that you like to do and expand on them. Do you like to write? Well, start your own blog or get started writing that novel you always wanted to write. Are you the artsy type? Perhaps you could start working on an exhibition–you might even decide to donate or sell some pieces. Focus on setting goals that will allow you to use your God-given gifts and talents to keep you busy…and help others in the process.
These are just a few suggestions to help you deal with being the only one of your friends who isn’t dating right now. Times like this can feel pretty lonely, but know that God will send the right guy for you during the right season of your life. Although wanting to date is quite natural, don’t forget that waiting for love is always better than moving too quickly.
What are some other suggestions you have?