Ask Aysha: “My Weight Limits My Relationships. What Should I Do?”
Written by Aysha Ives | June 6, 2013
I feel like my weight limits the things that I can do. Guys don’t think I’m as attractive and I feel left out by other girls who are way thinner than me. What should I do?
As a woman who has always struggled with her own weight, I know how difficult this issue can be for girls. It’s a tough topic that can be quite sensitive, but let’s talk about it.
First of all, true beauty is when you’re clothed with Godliness. Never ever forget how precious you are to God! Just because you’re not as thin as you’d like to be doesn’t mean that you’re not beautiful; it just means that you’re not as thin as you’d like to be. You’re STILL beautiful. Never forget your value!
The next thing we should consider is this: If you’re not comfortable with your weight, then commit to making some lifestyle changes. I weighed over 300 pounds until my early/mid twenties, so I know the struggle better than many. Keep in mind that you’re not doing this for other people; you’re doing this for YOU! Take a peek at this article for tips on losing weight in a healthy way.
Now, let’s look at some tips for dealing with relationships when you feel that your weight is limiting you:
- Know your worth. You’re God’s daughter which means that you’re of high value. Don’t ever underestimate yourself. When you think poorly about yourself, others might use that as a vehicle to ignore you or treat you badly. However, when people see that you don’t view your weight as a limitation, then they won’t, either.
- Focus on your strengths. The Bible says that you’re a light to the darkness, so let your light shine! Whatever you do well, spend time developing that talent. If you’re a social butterfly, then use your people skills to show the love of Christ to others. If you’re good at a specific task, then do what’s necessary to continually improve your skill. When you excel at what you do, not only will YOU feel better, but others will be curiously drawn to you. The Christ in you will draw people to you like a magnet, but don’t let your limiting thoughts about yourself interfere with the process.
- Teach people (including yourself) how to treat you. Always present yourself as the AWESOME creation of God that you are! Dress nicely and keep yourself well groomed. This seems simple, but it does volumes for you and your relationships. First, it reminds you of your own value. Second, it reminds others of your value. People who value themselves automatically teach others to value them as well. You can start by not allowing your weight to prevent you from always looking your best!
- Use positive self talk. Spend some time loving on yourself EVERY day. Write down positive self confessions and read them aloud each day. Or jot down positive characteristics about yourself on the bathroom mirror and read them aloud every time you look in the mirror. Soon you’ll begin to internalize the GREATNESS within you and realize that you deserve fulfilling relationships. Once you internalize this, you’ll begin to EXPECT awesome relationships and as your faith grows, God will start sending some remarkable people into your life.
- Pray for Godly relationships. God has it all in control. He loves you very much and He created people to be social. Pray for Godly relationships and God will honor your prayer. Despite how you may feel right now, in time you’ll meet your Prince Charming, and your life will be full of amazing female friends who won’t ignore you but rather, will celebrate you!
What do you girls think? Do you ever feel that your weight is a hindrance? What other advice would you give?