Ask Aysha: “What Does God Say About Being Single and Having Soul Mates?”
Written by Aysha Ives | May 30, 2013
Hi girls! There have been lots of questions lately about remaining single verses finding your “soul mate,” so I thought I’d answer a few of your questions in one post!
Is it okay that I don’t want to date or ever get married?
Getting married is not a prerequisite to salvation. God does NOT require people to marry. In fact, people who choose to remain single while still living a holy lifestyle may be in a better position to serve God than married couples. Paul says this:
An unmarried man can spend his time doing the Lord’s work and thinking how to please Him. But a married man has to think about his earthly responsibilities and how to please his wife. His interests are divided. In the same way, a woman who is no longer married or has never been married can be devoted to the Lord and holy in body and in spirit. But a married woman has to think about her earthly responsibilities and how to please her husband. I am saying this for your benefit, not to place restrictions on you. I want you to do whatever will help you serve the Lord best, with as few distractions as possible (1 Corinthians 7:32-35).
It’s ABSOLUTELY okay for a Christian to not date or marry as long as she continues to maintain a godly lifestyle. Some people are called to live life single, and God gives them supernatural strength to resist lust and other struggles that the enemy will try to present to an unmarried person. I think it’s awesome when a person is able to focus on God entirely without the distraction of romantic relationships!
Although some people’s calling will require them to remain single, God knows that most people will have a desire to marry. This makes sense because sexual intimacy is necessary to replenish the earth. When God’s people marry and produce children, the Kingdom of God can move forward on earth. So to answer the next question:
Does God create a specific soul mate for each person? And if so, why do some people desire to get married but never do?
This is a bit of a complex question. God gives us free will in life and marriage is one of those things that He leaves up to us. However, in order to have the best marriage possible, it’s vitally important that we consult God before getting married. Since marriage is supposed to be a permanent earthly union, it’s important that Christians enter that covenant after much prayer and confirmation. I believe that God will make known to each person who the ideal person is for him/her to marry.
God wouldn’t give you a desire and then not fulfill it. That would be cruel and God is a God of LOVE, not cruelty. If He gives you the desire to be married, then He’ll send your husband to you. However, it’s very important to understand that disobedience holds up blessings. Sometimes people who desire to be married are still single because they haven’t done what God has instructed them to do. However, having unfulfilled desires (that are holy) isn’t what God wants for your life.
So, if it’s your desire to one day marry, be obedient and bring your petition before God and in His timing, He’ll make it happen! Also, don’t allow the enemy to put faulty thoughts into your mind. If Satan sees that this is a concern of yours, then he’ll try to convince you that you’ll never get married. But I’ll leave you with this:
Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:6-7).
What do you girls think? Do you think everyone has a soul mate? Do you want to get married one day, or would you be happy remaining single?