Ask Aysha: “When Is It Okay to Begin Dating?”
Written by Aysha Ives | May 3, 2013
In your opinion, what age is a good age to begin dating?
As daughters of the King, everything we do should reflect who we are in Christ. 1 Peter 2:9 says that we are “peculiar people,” which means that everything we do as Christians should be distinguishable from the world. Therefore, even Christian dating should be approached in a different manner than worldly dating.
Christian ladies should date when they’re marriage minded, not just to have fun or to “get experience” with boys. God instituted marriage for companionship, but He also wants husbands and wives to go forth and raise Godly children. God established this order so that His Kingdom’s agenda can be carried forth from generation to generation.
When it comes to dating, I tend to be more on the conservative side of the issue because I believe that although people may change, societies may change and customs may change, GOD never changes. Dating for fun or “just because” isn’t what God had in mind when He created Eve as a mate for Adam, and He still doesn’t have that in mind for His children today.
With that in mind, there’s no specific age that Christians should begin dating; however, I would recommend waiting awhile. Although it may seem tough to do, especially if all of your friends are dating, when you decide to wait to date, it really can save you from dealing with unecessary temptation and heart break.
Waiting doesn’t mean that you can’t enjoy the company of guys! You absolutely can hang out with guys–and have fun–even if you’re not dating yet. Here are some suggestions:
- Go on group outings. Grab a couple of your girlfriends and a few guy buddies and head somewhere fun. You could see a movie, go to the beach, check out an amusement park or just walk around the mall for a few hours.
- Have a get-together at your house. Who says Christians can’t celebrate at home? Yes, the Bible says that partying the way the world does isn’t appropriate for Christians, but it’s okay to have small gatherings at your house. Go grab some appetizers, pull out a few board games (or video games), make some punch, invite a few friends over and have some wholesome fun right at home.
- Get involved in church or youth groups. Tons of really nice guys go to church every day. Becoming active in your church’s youth group is a great way to have fun with boys who share the same values as you. Although you may not be dating yet, you could meet some fantastic guys and form amazing friendships right at church.
- Join organizations at school. Get involved in activities that you like at school. If you like to sing, join the choir. If you’re good in math, join the math league. If you’re a sports person, attend sporting events. You’re bound to have fun with girls and guys alike while you’re involved in your favorite activities.
Girls, Proverbs 4:23 says this:
Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.
God instructs us to guard our heart for our own benefit–He understands how easily an unguarded heart can be bruised. This is why Christian ladies really should wait to begin the courting process until you’re a little older. However, this doesn’t mean that you can’t have fun hanging out with guys, as friends, while you wait.
What else can you do to have wholesome fun with guys until you’re ready to date? What do you think the right age to start dating is?