Ask Aysha: “When It Comes to Kissing, How Far Is Too Far?”
Written by Aysha Ives | February 15, 2013
I know that kissing can sometimes lead to worse things. So what is your advice on kissing? How far is too far?
This can be a very complicated and controversial question. Some people think it’s okay to kiss as long as it doesn’t go too far, while others don’t think it’s a good idea to kiss at all while you’re dating. My thoughts are on the conservative side because our job as believers is to glorify Christ in everything we do–even dating! When you’re deciding how far is too far, take these tips to heart:
- Consider courting. These days, many people date recreationally. But since the true home of Christians is Heaven, you’re only visiting this place called Earth for the purpose of furthering God’s Kingdom. You shouldn’t focus on the world’s customs, but should be aiming to please God. As a Christian, consider courting, not dating. This means that your dating is intentional. If you’re not sure you’re going to marry the boy you’re dating, then physical contact should be limited.
- Don’t tempt yourself. The Bible is clear about this. God knows temptation will come your way and He instructs Believers to flee from it. This is because He knows that the “spirit is willing but the body is weak” (Matthew 26:41). A lot of kissing can very easily lead to further temptation.
- Establish boundaries. Boundaries are important in relationships. Keep in mind that until you’re married, your boyfriend is really just your brother in Christ, so a lot of physical contact isn’t appropriate. The Bible says, “Greet one another with a kiss of love” (1 Peter 5:14), so a quick peck when you and your boyfriend meet up is fine, but when it turns into more, that could lead to temptation.
- Pray. Praying is the most important thing you can do as a Christian, so seek guidance from God on this issue. God said He would give you wisdom when you ask, and this applies to ALL areas of your life. Ask The Holy Spirit to guide you and listen when He tries to convict you when things are going too far. That small, still voice you hear is often God trying to get your attention.
If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and He will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. But when you ask Him, be sure that your faith is in God alone. Do not waver, for a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind. Such people should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Their loyalty is divided between God and the world, and they are unstable in everything they do (James 1:5-8).
My suggestion to you girls is to try to avoid too much physical contact so temptation doesn’t become an issue. Try going on double dates or dating in groups so you don’t spend too much time alone with the guy you’re dating. As God’s daughter, you should be limiting physical contact until you’re married to the one God has in store for you!
What do you do to avoid temptation? What do you think about kissing–how far is too far?
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