|   Log In

Beauty & Fashion

“At What Age Is It Okay to Wear High Heels?”

Every week, I go through the “Girl Talk” section of Project Inspired and look for those seeking advice and counsel. I want to help answer some questions you may have about living out your Christian life and walk of faith! We want PI to be a safe place where you can ask questions. 

This week in the Middle School “Girl Talk” forum, a preteen asked about what age it’s okay to wear heels. Check out the full post here.

With society pushing young people to dress older and immodestly in keeping with the trends of the day, it can be hard for a girl trying to grow into a teenager and wanting to fit in with the “in” crowd. Of course, there are times and places for high heels, but where, when and on what occasions? Is it odd to wear high heels outside of middle school dances or graduation? Should you only wear them to weddings, dances and special occasions? This week, I will answer this lighthearted and fun question for you preteens out there!

If you’re under the age of 12, I’d say it’s probably best to wait to wear high heels because you’re still growing. High heels are not only mature-looking, but can even be dangerous to walk in. It’s different if you’re wearing them for fun or dress-up, or you’re wearing an appropriate wedge for a special occasion such as a wedding—but outside of this, it probably isn’t a good idea.

The design of the shoe definitely makes a difference. If you’re going to a special birthday or event and want a small heel, there are preteen shoes with an age-appropriate height in the heel. Obviously, stilettos (very high heels) would look a little mature and probably too immodest on a younger girl, but when you reach your teenage years and you begin to go to proms, dances and other fancy occasions, it will most likely be appropriate then.

Here’s an example (in two colors!) of age-appropriate heels for a preteen:

 

Unknown-5

silver-high-heel-shoes

When I was a little girl, I loved dressing up in heels, and many little girls love putting on makeup, wearing pretty dresses and trying on new shoes—there’s nothing wrong with that—but the question here is more about wearing high heels on a regular basis. I would say if you’re in your teen years and your parents or guardians approve, they will most likely observe what looks best for your age. It never hurts to ask, and remember, you don’t have to be like everyone else to look and feel beautiful! I hope that helps!

PI Girls, what do YOU think? What age is best to start wearing high heels?

Image: iStockphoto | ThinkStock

POST A COMMENT

You must be logged in to post a comment.

57 Comments

  1. Leftie

    Posted by Leftie on July 10, 2017 at 16:46

    Those shoes are children’s shoes. By their preteen years kids will almost definitely have graduated to women’s size shoes.

  2. Project Inspired

    Posted by IsabelaGomez12- on June 13, 2017 at 13:58

    I respect your opinion but find it a bit inaccurate. I am twelve years old, about to turn thirteen. My mom is very strict when it come to heels to how appropriate they are and the height. She always explains to my the risks of wearing them at a young age,and I fully understand them. The I showed my mom this post she found the guide unfit. She bought 2 1/2 inch wedges when I was twelve. I was and still am pretty tall for my age. I balanced well in them and never fell. They were easy to walk on and didn’t hurt my feet at the end of the day. She has even decided to let me walk in 3 inches heels but that is the max. I can easily walk in them without falling. I wore the shoes that you see fit for my age group when I was 8.

  3. Project Inspired

    Posted by emilyc7328 on April 29, 2017 at 06:30

    I Personally think 10 should be 3-4cm high and Im 13 and i wear 8cm high occasionally (I wear chunky heels not stilettos). I only wear heels on special occasions because im still growing and i dont want to damage my legs.

  4. FashionObsessed

    Posted by FashionObsessed on April 4, 2017 at 16:49

    Yeah umm, I wore the preteen heels in 1st grade. I’m in 5th grade now and I’m rocking 3 inch heels.

  5. Marisol23

    Posted by Marisol23 on February 16, 2017 at 12:01

    The preteen shoes um i wore those in primary

  6. Project Inspired

    Posted by Phoenix1997 on July 27, 2014 at 11:23

    I enjoy wearing heels, I understand some of the physical sides of the arguement, and I have had some of those issues but not always due to heels. I have had past injuries that contribute into the factor, and I get some of the above reasons, however I wear heels more for strengthening my calf muscles it’s easier than going to the gym, and they also help u gain more speed in your walking pace. When I put on a pair of heels 3-4in (no higher than 5!) I walk slower, but once I put my flats on or run around barefoot, because my calves are stronger I can walk faster and burn more calories easier. It also helps train dancers (like me) to stand in correct positions. So in a sense heels are not always bad for you unless you wear them all the time, there are many pro’s and con’s to wearing heels, and quite honestly I try to get a healthy dose of both flats and heels, but u will catch me wearing heels out more than anything! It all depends on how you look at it and depends on how you see your daughter granted if I had a daughter I would not let her start wearing heels until 14! 🙂

  7. Project Inspired

    Posted by Emquinn on January 9, 2014 at 07:13

    I think kids under the age of 12 shoud not wear heels!

  8. Jesusandcupcakes

    Posted by Jesusandcupcakes on December 18, 2013 at 06:58

    To me it depends on the style and height of the shoes. My 8 year old cousin cried because she couldn’t get silver heels that WERE for kids but were SUPER grownup and had four inch heels!! I personally also think that putting 2-5 year olds in heels and compete for beauty queen is really dumb. They are kids and shouldn’t grow up believing you have to be beautiful on the outside in order to win and be number one. Maybe girls could start wearing heels at age thirteen where they start to have a personality and a certain style to follow.

  9. chicken_chick

    Posted by chicken_chick on November 12, 2013 at 22:20

    That being my little story there, not the picture!

  10. chicken_chick

    Posted by chicken_chick on November 12, 2013 at 22:17

    Super high heels on really young girls all the time, can make you look pretty slutty. When I went to my bfs graduation this year, there was another girl he was graduating with who is a model, and her younger sister was like 12 I think.. she was wearing these HUGE heels, plus see through-ish black tights sort of things that came up past the knees and stopped, then quite a ways above that was the end of her very tight tiny little dress. Plus way too much black makeup of course and that look like ‘come get me’. Although what made her look the worst was her choice of attire, the heels made her really tall and just awful looking, and she looked like she was trying to be a stripper, or at least close. It was then that my bf pointed out to me there was no point in being jealous of trash. (her and her older sister) And believe me, it was NOT that kind of a dress-up event. Everyone there (except them) were very conservative, modest people. It was a homeschool graduation too. I’m sure everyone there was appalled. She looked far from stunning or beautiful.

    Although the heels in the pic do look very kiddy, like very young girls. I’d say you could go a bit more. I’m almost 15 and I wear heels to church, pretty high ones if I feel like it. But, no girl should should ever wear heels like THAT ^ (no matter the age) and expect to catch a good man. Young girls especially. /:

    • Project Inspired

      Posted by emilyc7328 on April 29, 2017 at 06:33

      I actually had a year 6 graduation a year ago and most of the girls wore stilettos which was shocking! They put a whole heap of makeup on and they looked like they were 30. I just wore a cute pair of wedges (8cm) and some foundation, blush and mascara.

  11. Project Inspired

    Posted by emmr1212 on November 8, 2013 at 21:50

    I am 14. My highest heel are booties that are maybe 4inches. I never wear strappy and the heels are for fancy occasions.

  12. godsgal17

    Posted by godsgal17 on October 29, 2013 at 09:23

    Personally, I prefer flats since their easier to walk in! Uggs and flat boots are my favorites for fall and winter also. Although heels can attract more attention to the legs, I think they are fine as long as a modest outfit is worn with them.

  13. Speak4Elohim

    Posted by Speak4Elohim on October 27, 2013 at 06:35

    Well, I’m 14 and I wear heels with my skirts a lot (used to wear tennis shoes with them! :-P). When I was younger, I would wear small heels for occasions such as weddings, church events, Christmas family pictures, Easter, etc… But really I think the best way to decide on this is to ask your parents. Especially mom on this one, ’cause dad probably thinks heels are weird anyway. Just so long as you aren’t wearing something that hurts your feet. Some people start wearing heels at a younger age for show purposes. I have been in several musicals and we have to wear heels for those a lot.

  14. Publicpassion

    Posted by Publicpassion on October 15, 2013 at 19:33

    I started wearing heels on occasions at 12. I started wearing higher ones and heels on a regular basis at 14, when I started high school

  15. lilyworshipsongs

    Posted by lilyworshipsongs on October 14, 2013 at 13:27

    I personally started wearing smaller heels (one inch and under) when I was ten, but it wasn’t until I was twelve I went anything above that. Currently, I’m almost 15 and my tallest heel is 4 inches and I think until 18 that’s the tallest someone should go. I happen to look older than I am, so I can wear taller heels than most girls my age, but if someone my age looked twelve, I’d suggest a smaller heel so they don’t look like a kid trying to be an adult. It’ not that I think baby-faces are bad, but you have to work with what God gave you, and some girls need to realize this.

  16. ssutton98

    Posted by ssutton98 on October 13, 2013 at 18:19

    that’s just stupid ive been wearing heels since I was 5 and im christian

    • Rose of Emerlandia

      Posted by Rose of Emerlandia on November 9, 2013 at 14:46

      First of all, yes, there’s nothing sinful about wearing high heels when a person is “too young”. You’re right about that. They are just shoes and are not “immodest” (although they do supposedly make people’s behinds stick out, etc.). But for future reference (and you probably already know this) just because a Christian does something doesn’t make it okay. Christians sin too. You do have a point about the heels.

  17. NerdyChick334

    Posted by NerdyChick334 on October 9, 2013 at 23:31

    Y’all realize men were the first to wear high heels, right? And society is not making us more immodest. Immodesty has always been present in fashion. Heels shape one’s calves and were designed to make legs look more appealing. I think this question hinges on whether it’s actually good for your feet to use heels in your everyday attire. Stilettos shouldn’t be worn by young girls not because of “immodesty” but because it’s bad for their growing feet. High heels are nice for special occasions, but everyday attire is a no-no. Even flip-flops as an everyday item is a bad idea. they can mess up your toes and generally have no arch support. If you simply must have that nice calf and an extra inch or two, I recommend investing in character dance shoes (Only if you neer use them on the dance floor). They’re comfortable for movement and can go with a variety of outfits.

  18. codykatiebelle

    Posted by codykatiebelle on October 7, 2013 at 12:12

    I would say that a good age for high heels would be when you are 15.

  19. Crzy4Christ

    Posted by Crzy4Christ on October 6, 2013 at 12:49

    I am 14 and didn’t really start wearing heels until last year. This year the only heels I own are, a pear of nine west nude pumps, and black boots. I also have some black heels, but they are only 2 in. high. I have to say, I love wearing heels!

  20. Project Inspired

    Posted by kc2016 on October 6, 2013 at 08:45

    Im 15 and I only wear heels for special occasions like weddings, banquets, and Quinceañeras. But I have a friend who has worn high heels to school before but they never looked immodest on her. She just did it for fun and one pair was her Quinceañera heels and she needed to get some use out of them.

  21. KaylaPaige947

    Posted by KaylaPaige947 on October 4, 2013 at 15:34

    I’m almost 19 and I still don’t wear heels. I think I wore them a couple times growing up. I own one pair of heels and they are so low to the ground, they might as well be deemed wedges or flats. Not really, but you know what I mean. I don’t like wearing heels because they’re not comfy to me, and also, I’m already 5’10”.. so I feel weird being even taller with them on. I last wore a pair back in April for a wedding.. and that was it.

    I feel like it’s better to wait until you’re in your teens to wear them, but if you do wear them, wear the smaller heeled ones. I guess everybody is different and everyone’s situations are different as well.
    I really can’t say too much to the matter considering I rarely wear them.

  22. atla_bee

    Posted by atla_bee on October 4, 2013 at 12:29

    Oh sheesh….now I’m kind of embarrassed 😉
    I seriously just bought my first legit pair of high heels (shiny red) a week ago and I’m 19. The only reason however, was simply because I never had a reason to wear them. I wore flip-flops to prom & all…haha 😀

  23. GigiJR

    Posted by GigiJR on October 4, 2013 at 11:56

    I think it really de

    • GigiJR

      Posted by GigiJR on October 4, 2013 at 12:07

      Err, yes. Thanks Smartphone!
      As I was saying: I think it really depends on the heel. I have 3 or 4 pairs of heels that I love. They are simple & pretty. I have never worn stilettos or really strappy heels because, even now at 18, they are too mature looking for me, or at the very least, they give off a different impression than I generally choose to give off.
      I don’t think those shoes pictured are a very good option for preteens (I’m taking that as being around 10-12 y/o) because they do look very juvenile. There are a plethora of women’s heel options, many of which would be perfectly appropriate for a preteen.
      All that said, I only wear heels with skirts or slacks. Heels and jeans always look a little funny to me.

  24. Trinity

    Posted by Trinity on October 4, 2013 at 11:34

    I’m sorry, but I don’t see how heels are sexual. I mean, they’re often associated with ‘sexy’ outfits, but I hardly think a guy thinks a girl is hot based on what’s on her feet. I’d think if you want to wear them, go ahead, just be aware of the damage it could potentially do to your body if overused. If you don’t want to wear them, like me, that’s fine, too. Wear whatever makes you feel comfortable.

    • Project Inspired

      Posted by kc2016 on October 6, 2013 at 08:49

      @Trinity I do agree with you. I mean they’re just shoes but I think heels are supposed to make your legs and but look better so that’s probably why they seem “sexual.”

      • Trinity

        Posted by Trinity on October 16, 2013 at 13:23

        That makes sense. But as long as you’re covering your legs and butt appropriately, that shouldn’t be an issue. And if say your lower leg (totally forget what it’s called 😛 ) looks good, so what? I hardly think that’s the worst thing in the world when it comes to sexualization, like wearing shiny lip gloss or having long hair.

  25. LyndiMT

    Posted by LyndiMT on October 4, 2013 at 11:24

    Well I personally have been wearing shoes with like an inch or two of heel since before I was five. And my ten year old sister wears heels on a regular basis. I don’t feel like heels are a matter of modesty. In my opinion, if you can walk in them then go for it! I’m not saying that right year olds should wear six inch stilettos but I feel like heels aren’t really a big deal.

  26. SomeBeachSomeWhere

    Posted by SomeBeachSomeWhere on October 4, 2013 at 08:50

    Pretty much every pair of shoes I own is a pair of heels over two inches, I’m 15. You can wear heels whenever. I’ve been wearing them for a really long time.

  27. Project Inspired

    Posted by TheGoodLife on October 2, 2013 at 17:41

    I just got my first pair of heels a month ago, and I’m 16!

  28. hobbithobbithobbit52891

    Posted by hobbithobbithobbit52891 on October 2, 2013 at 15:47

    are you serious age-appropriate no offense but those look like baby shoes

  29. Paris

    Posted by Paris on October 2, 2013 at 12:32

    I love heels,and I started out that height in the pictures when I was 11. And I didin’t start wearing higher heels and stilettos until I was a teenager.

  30. Project Inspired

    Posted by ITOFAR on October 1, 2013 at 09:01

    I love heels and started wearing them officially when I was ten… (I had been wearing very low heels before then) I think the right time depends on the individual, her society and parents.

  31. Project Inspired

    Posted by Katinka on October 1, 2013 at 07:16

    When I was about thirteen or fourteen I started wearing fairly short wedge shoes. Even then I only was wearing them because I was WAY shorter than the rest of my friends. I just started wearing heels and I am almost eighteen, but I probably would have held off on that if I wasn’t so short. Honestly, I think the heel size can depend on the girl. Something taller might look more acceptable on a shorter girl. But all in all I would suggest holding off on heels as long as possible because they really aren’t that good on your feet. Plus, if you are a young teen or preteen they don’t make you look older so much as make you look like you are trying to hard and can get pretty ridiculous.

  32. katiebug1996

    Posted by katiebug1996 on September 30, 2013 at 18:52

    I like heels! 🙂 I enjoy wearing them to church every now and again and wearing them out sometimes. I usually stick to flats because they are more comfortable.. but I think heals are okay to wear, as long as you don’t wear too short of dresses/skirts with them. But I think 12ish is an appropriate age to begin wearing (1 inch or under) heels.

  33. mollymusic

    Posted by mollymusic on September 30, 2013 at 18:24

    I’m going to my friend’s Sweet 16 on Sunday, and she said everyone is going to wear heels. I don’t currently own any and I’n nervous to get some, I’ve never really walked around in them!

    • jmadisonk

      Posted by jmadisonk on October 2, 2013 at 11:06

      A great place to start is with a simple wedge heel. They are easy to walk in and definitely more comfortable than a normal high heel! Speaking from a personal stand point, anything between 2-3 inches is both comfortable and modest. Plus, you can find a lot of really fun and inexpensive wedges at Target and Marshalls or any department store. Hope this helps!

  34. chrissieluvzjesus

    Posted by chrissieluvzjesus on September 30, 2013 at 17:31

    I wear heels every Sunday for church, we’re kind of traditional, but I’m 12, people mistake me for a high-school student, which I think is weird, so I pass. My picture: http://grooveshark.com/#!/christloverchrissie. But, I avoid them because they’re not good for your feet, my mother(a nurse) says. So Imma follow her advice. 🙂 Like I should. 🙂

  35. Lefty1995

    Posted by Lefty1995 on September 30, 2013 at 16:34

    I’m 19, and I only wear heels if it’s absolutely necessary. Even then they’re only about half an inch. I think if I were shorter, I’d wear them more often, but considering I’m already taller than most of my friends, and I don’t like feeling like I’m towering over them.

    • Project Inspired

      Posted by Karyn14 on September 30, 2013 at 17:04

      Glad to see someone else feels that way! 🙂 I don’t really wear heels just for the fact that I already tower over others!

  36. lauramae

    Posted by lauramae on September 30, 2013 at 16:21

    I just recently bought my first pair of heels and I am 19! I am tall so heels are usually out for me! 😛 but and I’ll only wear them on special occasions and they make me feel pretty and sophisticated which is one of the main reasons I bought them!
    I would have to disagree a little bit. I think you should hold off to wearing heels until you are 16 unless they are little heels like the picture above ^ and only wear them for special occasions,yes. I think that wearing heels makes you feel more grown up. enjoy your childhood girls and hold off on the heels! so that’s why I would hold off 😉

  37. RachelMeeko

    Posted by RachelMeeko on September 30, 2013 at 16:16

    I avoid boots and other shoes I would wear on a daily basic, if they have heels, since wearing heels for long periods of time can damage you feet. But, I don’t see anything wrong with wearing heels (even those six inch ones) for Sunday or a special event. You wear the shoes for only a few hours, then once you get home you can take them off. I think wearing heels every day isn’t a good idea, but once a week or so shouldn’t be a problem. Even if you are a preteen (preteens aren’t as young as people seem to think) I don’t see a problem wearing 4 or so inches, as long as it isn’t on a daily basis. I have an 8 inch heel (plus a 2 inch platform, so it feels like 6 inches) that I wear with my maxi dress. My dress drags on the ground otherwise and it can’t be hemmed. (For the record, I am not a preteen, but I still don’t see why one couldn’t wear super high heels occasionally). Everyone just needs to keep in mind their style and try to dress their age, plus making sure not to wear those huge heels very often. But that doesn’t mean you can’t wear those fun high heels!

    • Project Inspired

      Posted by Katinka on October 1, 2013 at 07:25

      I agree in some aspects to what you are saying. I mean some heel doesn’t usually look bad on a pre-teen. But I have seen a few who wore heels so high they looked ridiculous. I think heels should either be a way to look taller or normal hight (if you are short) or just something classy to add to your wardrobe. Tall heels don’t really do that with many people especially not pre-teens. Most pre-teens who wear super high heels the heels seem to wear the girl instead of the girl wearing the heels. This actually makes them look more immature instead of older as they are looking for. If the girl is looking for a classy look then sky high heels don’t often give that impression until you are much older, even then it’s often debatable. I am almost eighteen and still don’t wear super high heels for that reason.

    • chrissieluvzjesus

      Posted by chrissieluvzjesus on September 30, 2013 at 17:33

      Exactly. Glad someone else feels the same way as I do. 🙂

  38. Project Inspired

    Posted by on September 30, 2013 at 15:47

    I don’t own any heels (I’m 17). I think they’re like foot binding for the modern era. I don’t think there’s any situation where you can’t substitute flats for heels and look just as good.

  39. cupcake99

    Posted by cupcake99 on September 30, 2013 at 15:36

    I will only wear heels when I want to dress up, like for church or something. Other than that I know that they’re not really good for me to wear them all the time. I really like ballet flats though! There kinda dressy but you can still wear them everyday.

  40. SunComesSmiling09

    Posted by SunComesSmiling09 on September 30, 2013 at 15:03

    I actually almost never wear heels. I’ve worn them once to a funeral, and once to a sweet 16 party, otherwise, I avoid them at all costs. I’ve never been able to find a comfortable fit for my wider feet.

  41. SlinkyKitty88

    Posted by SlinkyKitty88 on September 30, 2013 at 10:42

    Those aren’t pre-teen heels. Most six-year-olds wear shoes like that (They’re like princess shoes!). I’m talking about the style, not the heel height.
    Girls whose feet are still growing shouldn’t wear super-high heels, but once they stop (Mine stopped around age 14) wear whatever you’re comfortable in.

    I am really short, so people expect me to wear heels, but I suck at walking in them. And they hurt. I can do pointe shoes, but rarely heels. xD

  42. Mandi Pi

    Posted by Mandi Pi on September 30, 2013 at 09:46

    I wear heels (only on Sunday to church, or other special occasions), and I am young…I would never wear them every day (or even more than 1-2 times a week) though, because yeah, it can cause foot problems (and I personally have enough of those)…I wear pretty (or I guess REALLY) high heels, but I have gotten really good at walking in them and it feels natural by now, so there’s no worries of me breaking my ankles. 😀

  43. Project Inspired

    Posted by on September 30, 2013 at 09:36

    I personally don’t like high heels. They hurt too much. 😀 ! I know a 12 year old who wears towering heels. I don’t think that its biblically wrong, but it is extremely foolish, she is under 16 and it can cause serious health concerns, because her bones are still developing.

  44. goatwrangler

    Posted by goatwrangler on September 30, 2013 at 09:26

    Depends. Most kids that age are too busy wanting to run around and play to wear high heels. I don’t wear heels at all because I already tower over most boys my age. I don’t need another few inches added to that.