My whole life I was looking for a love that I did not know and could not find. My dad has been in and out of my life due to drugs and alcohol. I regularly attended church because my family made me. I was the type of girl who would laugh at the people raising there hands to praise God or laugh at the pastors. I had no understanding of the word of God even though I heard it all the time.. what I really did was tune it out. I turned to boys and to the things of this world that I thought would bring me love, but all I felt was empty and broken. I felt insecure and I cried every night because I didn't want to be alive anymore. I felt like my life had no meaning and no purpose, I felt used and worthless. It was the summer 0f 2011 that God changed me. I was at summer camp and it was during worship when I began to cry out to God and told him that if he was real to show me in some way, I told him that I was tired of living life the way I had been and I wanted a change. It was in that moment that I literally felt God shake me in such a beautiful and indescribable way. I knew that I needed to surrender my life to him in that instant. I didn't want anything to do with the old me. God took my broken and damaged life and turned it into a beautiful, new, precious life.. into a life WORTH living. I want to tell you that all it takes is one cry, one time of truly seeking God, and your life can change. When you give your life to God, everything doesn't suddenly become perfect, and your problems don't magically disappear. But God is right there, holding your hand and guiding you through each step and journey you will ever take. He wants to be the ultimate love of your life. The girl I used to be.. Its hard to imagine that was even me. I am NEW and its all because of one step that I took for my life to be radically transformed. He wants to use you for his kingdom, he wants to be by your side through everything, he wants to be your best friend and your father. His heart aches for you and he is deeply in love with you more than anyone in the world ever could.
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