First, let me start with the basics (like literally right now as I write this). I’m 18, have never dated, never been kissed, never held hands or…well, you probably get the picture: Extra Virgin. I have one week left in my first semester as a college freshman and am pretty much the only one in the group of friends I’ve known since fifth grade who isn’t engaged or in an serious relationship or pregnant. Funny thing is: I am perfectly okay with that! So…where am I going with this? Well, first of all, I’m not going to tell you the right and wrong way to do things (as stated above, I have next to no experience). In fact, this note is partly to whoever is reading this and partly just a personal rededication of a promise to my future husband I made when I was 13. So I’m just going to go ahead and get right to it.
SEX IS EVERYWHERE. Seriously, every single day, whether positive or negative, sexuality makes an appearance in our lives. On TV, at school, Bible study, the Internet…it has its way of getting around. Maybe it’s because it’s natural? See, in the beginning, God made us to be sexual beings (Genesis 2:24). You know, the same time when He saw what He created and saw that it was good. God made men and women to want each other, and that’s a beautiful thing! However, in today’s day and age, sex is often considered a hobby (kinda like arts and crafts or football) and not the sacred thing that it really is. To say that you’re waiting for marriage can be social suicide in secular circles. “Wait…seriously?” “So are you, like, religious then?” You know you’ve heard these before. Now please, just hear me out—and know that I believe 100 percent that sex is BEAUTIFUL, created by GOD, for MARRIAGE—but what if we put aside Christianity, spirituality and religion for a minute and consider other aspects of premarital sex?
So why wait if it’s not for religious reasons? For one thing: STDs. Everywhere we go there are posters and billboards advertising the huge, and constantly growing, issue of sexually transmitted diseases. Personally, this doesn’t make sleeping around seem appealing at all. Seriously, it’s like if beaches decided to advertise sharks.
Anyway, moving right along…how about our hearts? The original meaning of sex (or sexual intercourse) is to be connected with someone in more than just a physical manner. It literally means to become one, to be joined together in body, mind and spirit. Sex is the closest connection it’s possible to have with someone. Do you really want to be that close with someone other than the person you’ll someday pledge your life to? I understand that in today’s society it’s not considered that different from making out, and the chances that the person you marry will have already been with someone are pretty high, but in all honesty, wouldn’t you want to be the only one?
How about “Because I CAN”? Fact of the matter is God created sex for marriage, but He has also given us the power to choose (there are a ton of verses about free will; e.g., Joshua 24:15). The Bible warns about being sexually immoral (1 Corinthians 6:18), but in the end it’s my choice. It’s up to me if I decide to do things the world’s way or God’s way. I am choosing to wait BECAUSE I CAN and it actually has nothing to do with religion or statistics: I have chosen purity because I LOVE him. Because on our wedding night, myself is the best gift I can give.
Isn’t it funny that the same society that strongly encourages being different also strongly encourages you to be just like everyone else? In the book of Corinthians, Paul said, “All things are lawful for me, but not all things are helpful; all things are lawful for me, but not all things edify.” (1 Corinthians 10:2) Again, it’s our choice. Casual sex might be acceptable and pleasurable, but what are the benefits? Giving a piece of yourself away to feel good for an hour?
Like I said before, this note is partly for you and partly just a personal rededication of a promise I made to my future husband.
The part for you: It’s your choice. Don’t let others decide a decision for only you to make. I challenge you to make up your mind now, before others have the chance to influence your choices. If purity is your choice, write down your boundaries and be specific. Have a idea of what you want before you are thrust into a position where you have to decide on the spot.
Dear Future Husband,
Every day purity is a choice we have to make
and I choose you, on our wedding night. I am waiting.
I pray that you are, too. If you’ve already given yourself away,
I understand and will not judge you in any way.
I want you to know that you’re the only one I want. I may not be
your first, but I want you to be mine. I love you and I believe that
love is stronger than temptation: I choose you.