Building Healthier Relationships Part 1: Identifying Toxic Relationships
Written by Aysha Ives | August 15, 2011
It’s really important to spend time with people who are positive influences in your life. Although the Bible tells us to love everyone, God also warns us to not spend a lot of time in the counsel of the ungodly. Psalms 1:1 says “Blessed are those who do not walk in step with the wicked.” The first step in building Godly relationships is avoiding toxic ones.
The first step in cultivating healthy relationships is learning how to identify the ones that are NOT very healthy for you. Whether it’s an abusive boyfriend or a frenemy, it’s really important to detoxify your relationships. So let’s take a minute to explore signs that signifies that a relationship may be unhealthy or toxic:
A relationship is affecting your emotions negatively. God is a God of peace. In fact, He desires for you to live in peace so much that Jesus left behind The Holy Spirit as a comforter. If a relationship is constantly leaving you with a spirit of unrest, anger, despair, fear, hurt, or any other negative emotion, then it may be a sign that the relationship is unhealthy.
Your behavior is being negatively influenced. Peer pressure is very real and at times it’s difficult to resist the influence of those closest to you. This is why it’s so important to to keep yourself surrounded by peers who share your values. If you find that someone is frequently tempting you to do ungodly things, then the relationship is probably unhealthy. Similarly, if you find that you behave in ways that are out of your character when you’re in the presence of a particular person(s), then this is a sign that the relationship may be toxic.
Your health is being jeopardized. If you find that you’re in a relationship that is having a negative impact on your health, then this relationship is toxic for you. Do you feel so stressed out that you feel sick? Are you using unhealthy weight loss practices or allowing yourself to engage in reckless behavior that could affect your health over time, like drinking, using drugs or having sex? Being healthy is important and any relationship that interferes with your health is toxic!
Ladies, if something feels bad, often times it’s because it IS bad. Holding on to unhealthy relationships will only hurt you in the end. Take some time to identify the toxic relationships in your life so that you can begin to detoxify and move forward with healthier relationships. Check back for my next post that explores how to remove toxic relationships from your life.