Ladies, are you attracted to a “bad boy” type? You know, the guy who’s smooth and good-looking, has a crooked smile and a twinkle in his eye? He’s the mysterious one who’s social and confident and brave…plus, he’s a Christian (he says).
Okay, so maybe this is a stereotypical caricature reserved only for my fiction novels. But seriously, there is something about the “bad boy” that many a good girl can’t resist. Am I right? Is that girl you?
Well, if you’re a Godly girl, you should be looking for a Godly guy to spend your life with, right? And can a “bad boy” be a Godly guy? I don’t mean whether a “bad boy” can one day become Godly. I mean, can a “bad boy” type also be a Godly guy at the same time?
Let’s get a brief understanding of the “bad boy” (anything more could fill a book!). Of course, this breakdown won’t be applicable to all “bad boy” types.
In description alone, he’s the “bad boy,” so that in itself can’t be good. He’s the one who goes against the grain. He doesn’t follow the rules because he doesn’t think he has to. Maybe he plays truant or he’s too cool for school altogether. So is that a good thing? Is that really cool? Or are you crushing on someone who gives up when things get tough?
Maybe he shoplifts that pretty scarf you commented on. Is that a sign of love and devotion? Is it romantic? Or is he just a law breaker? When he talks back to a teacher or his parents, or when he curses and is offensive to you and his friends, is he defending his honor or yours? Or is he just disrespectful, obnoxious and rude? When he stands you up or doesn’t call when he promises, is he just a free bird, independent of the restraints of relationships? Or is he selfish and inconsiderate?
But as for you, man of God, shun all this; aim at righteousness, godliness, faith, love, steadfastness, gentleness. (1 Timothy 6:11)
A “bad boy” thrives on being risky and even dangerous—which means he’s probably going to get you involved in risky things, too. He may also put you in danger of losing your Christian way, because when you’re attracted to someone, you’re more likely to follow him, even if he leads you down the wrong path. Is this really where you want to go?
You see, a “bad boy” likes being bad, so it’s unlikely that he’ll be pushing you toward God or encouraging you in your walk with Christ. Instead, he’ll be guiding you away. After all, as a Godly girl, you’d be upset by his “bad boy” behaviors once you see the light, and you will if you remain a Godly girl. Then what?
So, can a “bad boy” be a Godly guy? Well, a “bad boy” and a Godly guy cannot be one and the same at one moment in time. Maybe a “bad boy” can one day become a Godly guy and vice versa. But there really is no such thing as a “Godly bad boy.” That’s just an oxymoron, right?
Either make the tree good, and its fruit good; or make the tree bad, and its fruit bad; for the tree is known by its fruit. You brood of vipers! How can you speak good, when you are evil? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. The good man out of his good treasure brings forth good, and the evil man out of his evil treasure brings forth evil. I tell you, on the day of judgment men will render account for every careless word they utter; for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned. (Matthew 12:33-37)
Recognize the truth behind the “bad boy” facade. The attitudes of these boys are often contrary to what God calls for in them.
Ladies, “bad boys” can be attractive, but keep your sights on the kind of guy that you want to spend your life with. Do you really want to marry a “bad boy” type and have him help you raise your children? Do you think that a “bad boy” will agree with the Christian values that you want to instill in your future family? If the answer is “no,” then stay away from the “bad boy.” He’s only going to distract you from what you should be focused on, and that is a life for God with a man of God, whose focus is on His Lord and who wants your focus to be the same.
Blessed is the man
who walks not in the counsel of the wicked,
nor stands in the way of sinners,
nor sits in the seat of scoffers;
but his delight is in the law of the Lord,
and on his law he meditates day and night.
He is like a tree
planted by streams of water,
that yields its fruit in its season,
and its leaf does not wither.
In all that he does, he prospers. (Psalm 1:1-3)
Ladies, do you think that a “bad boy” type can be Godly at the same time ?