Just Can’t Get a Guy Off Your Heart and Mind?

    Okay, so you have a crush on a guy! Maybe you’ve known him for a while or you just met him. Either way, you really like him. But for whatever reason, you wish you didn’t like him. Maybe he’s not a Christian, is a bad influence, hangs out with the wrong crowd, isn’t interested in being more than friends or just isn’t someone you see yourself marrying. So now what?

    It’s not easy getting a guy out of your heart once you’ve let him in, right? But sometimes the heart and the mind just don’t work together. Emotions take over, the mind runs rampant and it’s as if you’ve completely lost control of yourself. But ladies, don’t give up. There is a way out of the madness!

    The truth is, once you realize that there is a guy for you—and that this guy isn’t him—then you really can get him off your mind and out of your heart. Consider the following to help you!

    1. Focus on your future spouse. You may not know exactly who he is, but you know who he’s not. Once you remind yourself of the kind of guy you do want to spend your life with, then you will recognize that anyone else is just in the way of you finding him.
    2. Place God at the forefront of your life. When you put God first, it puts your life in perspective and you’re reminded that no guy should be elevated above God. It also helps you realize that your life is God’s and He will put the right guy in your life at the right time.
    3. Read your Bible. Everything you need to know about how to live your life is found in the Good Book. Not kidding! So, rather than spending your spare moments—and those in between—pining over this guy, refocus your attention to your life as a whole. When you read your Bible and understand what God expects of you, then you’ll be easily excited about your life, what’s ahead and that you’ll be sharing it with the right guy.
    4. Pray for strength, because as you know, you can overcome anything with the strength of God, including that crazy emotion that’s associated with a crush and confused with love. Scripture reminds us that there is no temptation that we cannot overcome if God is our strength. Never forget that!
    5. Pull yourself out of the world and remind yourself of the life you intend for yourself. This goes hand-in-hand with reading your Bible. As you know, many of those in the world have lost their way. They’re lost in culture and trends and fashion, all of which are dictated by the media. They’ve forgotten what God’s life for us is all about and have settled on this life and immediate gratification. In order to understand God’s plan for us, we must pull ourselves out of this world, which is where the “be in the world, not of it,” comes into play. Don’t get sucked in!
    6. Train your mind to divert its attention away from the guy. Every time he enters your mind, redirect your thought. Think instead about God’s plan for you.
    7. Don’t settle. Realize that when you give yourself to the wrong guy, you’re just giving yourself away. And you’re missing out on the right guy!

    Ladies, don’t get me wrong—it’s not easy to turn your heart off and refocus your mind! But it can be done, especially when you focus on God’s plan for you. When the right guy comes along, you will know, because there will be no doubt. You’ll know. So be patient and trust in God.

    Here’s a song to help you. It’s by Jamie Grace and it’s called “Just a Friend.” I already posted this once on PI, but for those of you who missed it, here it is again. God bless you all!

    Ladies, are you trying to get a guy off your heart and mind? Share your story. We love to hear from you!

    T.M. Gaouette
    T.M. Gaouette is a freelance writer, ghostwriter, blogger and fiction novelist. She was born in Africa, brought up in London and is now living in New England with her husband and four children. Devoted to Him, Gaouette is dedicated to glorifying God through her stories for teens and young adults. T.M. Gaouette is the author of "The Destiny of Sunshine Ranch" and "Freeing Tanner Rose," Christian novels for teens and young adults. She's currently working on completing her upcoming novel -visit for more on her Christian fiction work. Connect with her on and .


    1. Ah hmm I guess you could say o have a crush. I’ve liked him for 2and a half years. I tell myself I’m over him but I really don’t think I am. His best friend and me talk some and such and we talk just fine we joke around and such and then when it comes to talking to Micah well that’s a another situation. He says we’re friends and the only time we talk is if he talks to me first. In the beginning I could tell he was lonely and wanted to be his friend and well I grew stronger feelings for him. He has a girlfriend and I don’t picture him as my future husband so now it’s a matter of just getting over him. I’ve prayed a lot about it all. I’ve asked God to help me get over him but I haven’t been able to! Every time I think I’m over him I get feelings for him again. I don’t get it!I feel like if God thought I needed to get over him cause I’ve prayed repeatedly if he isn’t the one help me get over him and it hasn’t happened! I’m clueless here! I feel like God would want me to get over him! I’ve liked him since I was 13 1/2 and I’m 17and two months now. Help! What should I do?

    2. What if the man I can’t stop thinking about isn’t an ungodly man? How can I be sure that he isn’t the man God sent to me? How do I know if that’s not the reason I can’t get him out of my head or my heart?

    3. So, I’ve known this guy for 11 years and we didn’t talk for 8 and just got reconnected. I had a crush on him before and talking to him has rekindled that fire. I’ve prayed to God and asked him to take over my love life more than a few times this week because I honestly can’t tell if this is right… He wants to be a pastor and I feel that God’s will for me is to reach out to people, so I don’t know if this is good for me, or how to read the signals, and it doesn’t help that I get (and am getting) insecure when he doesn’t message me back and we were in the middle of a conversation.. it’s currently been more than a day and he has to picked up the conversation again and I can’t do it because it ended with me answering his question and asking him what his answer would be to the same question. What do I do??

    4. Hey kaddywatty I am so glad I came across your comment, because I was just in the same position as you recently. I just finished my freshman year of college and honestly it was a roller coaster ride mainly because I wasted all my attention to one thing a GUY. during my freshman year of college, I fell really hard for this guy who I thought was the one. He was the first guy I ever walked up to and told “hey I really like”. Fastward, we started talking, and getting to know each other, exchanged numbers. When we use to text, it’ll take a while for him to reply back to me and sometimes days. This was where I started to feel insecure bout myself and had so many negative thoughts and questions running through my mind. I lost focus on myself and my school. All I could think about was why isn’t he texting me back. It took me a while to realize and understand that this isn’t what God wants for me and to not settle. So I cut him off from my life and by that I mean I deleted all contact related to him including unfollowing on social media. I talked to God a lot and prayed a lot. My advice is to really pray about it and redirect your mind to God whenever u think of him

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