Chris Wheeler on Christian Dating: “Girls, Leave the Beef Jerky Behind” [VIDEO]

    Have you ever wished there was a guy you could talk to–maybe an older brother, or a trusted friend–all about dating? Well, Project Inspired girls, you’re in luck! We’re proud to introduce you to Chris Wheeler, a speaker for our friends at Girls of Grace, who wants to be your big brother in Christ. This week, Chris is giving us the lowdown on honor and respect in relationships…and a very special shout out to Project Inspired. Hear his words of wisdom here:

    Girls, do you agree with his advice? Sound off in the comments below! And ask any questions you may have for Chris–he’ll be answering YOUR questions in a future article!

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    We here at Project Inspired want to guide and inspire teen girls to be true to themselves and to God. We want to show young girls how to be people of value and confidence – how to be your own best selves – through leading a Christian life. Who are we? We're a team of girls, like you. We edit the site, we post to social media, we hang out in the chat rooms and forums. We talk with you, we listen to you, and we love you!


    1. Wow I love this video!!!! Its so true and Im glad the a guy is helping us girls to see that it is best to wait on a guy…. Me and my friend where just having the conversation that it is really hard to find a guy that respects you these days. But then we where like we don’t respect them so how should we go on talking about how guys don’t respect us when we don’t respect them? the main ways I think we can respect guys is to help them stay pure with their eyes even though we might not mean to do it guys are very visual and we can cause them to sin with their eyes when we dress un modest.. Also when we flirt with them, and try to talk them in to thing that we know is wrong in Gods eyes… I have always wanted to ask a Christian guy some questions about dating so here are a few of them…

      1# How can we respect guys?
      2# How can we help guys not to sin with their eyes?
      3# What is the best way to tell a guy that you just want a friend relationship and nothing more?

      • This is so very amazing, and so very true! One of the things I hate what guys do is go straight for the looks. They always judge the other girls by the way they look, sound, dress I hate that. They go for the girls that wear too revealing clothes. You want to be around a guy who likes you because of your values, your character, and who you are-not because of how you’re outside looks. To me it doesn’t what you wear, what you sound like what matters to me is what’s inside of their hearts that’s what counts. That’s what makes them beautiful on the inside and beautiful on the outside.

        Godly- Look for a guy with a passion Jesus. This should be be #1` on your list. Boaz asked God through prayer to bless Ruth (2:12)

        Diligent. Look for a guy who’s a hard worker. Boaz was a careful manager of his property and wealth (2:1)

        Friendly. Look for a guy will be your best friend. Boaz gave a warm greeting and welcomed Ruth to his field (2:4,8)
        Merciful. Look for a guy with compassion for others. Boaz asked about Ruth’s situation and acted on her behalf and in her best interserst (2:7)

        Encouraging. Look for a guy who contributes positively your growth. (in spiritual matters, character development, educational, and personal interests) Boaz pointed out Ruth’s strong qualities and spoke of them to encourage her (2:12)

        Generous. Look for a guy with a giving heart. Ruth needed footh and worked hard for it. Boaz saw that, appreciated it,
        and arranged for her to be given extra Food (2:15)

        Kind. Look for a guy with a kind heart. Boaz obviously cared for Ruth’s well-being. He also cared for Ruth’s mother-in-law, Naomi. Naomia thanked God for Boaz’s kindness toward her and Ruth (2:20)

        Discreet. Look for a guy who will protect your reputation. Ruth wanted to see Boaz in the evenings, and he honored her purity and send her home from the threshing floor before daylight. (3:14)

        Faithful. Look for a guy who keeps his word. Boaz followed through on his promise to marry Ruth (4:1)1

    2. I disagree I am 15 and I am dating my amazing boyfriend Michael who is 16. He is a total gentleman and I love him to death. (its my 1st relationship and we’re 6months and counting, which almost never happens with 1st relationships) I think that a lot of guys(and girls) aren’t mature enough and ready for that commitment, but some people are. It depends on the person/people. 🙂

      • I kind of agree with you, Grace_F. The video does have some good points, waiting for the guys to be men, rather than boys, but I think that it all depends on the guy and girl who are thinkin’ about getting involved in a relationship together. It’s very important that both the girl and guy are mature enough and ready and willing for the commitment. I wish you both the best of luck! (:

    3. Chris, what are your thoughts on courting instead of dating? Do you think it’s a good idea? What are the pros & cons? Not sure if courting is right for me. How do I know if it is or isn’t?

    4. Great idea Nicole! I really need something like this! Thanks(:

      Just to let you know every time I log in it says password in the username box. not a big deal just wanted to let you know in case something was wrong.

    5. This is great! Thank you so much for doing this, Chris!

      I’m 19, and I’ve never been in a relationship. I’ve made a commitment to myself and God to wait and see who He has in mind for me. But in our culture, it seems like if you don’t have a boyfriend now, your missing out. And even though I know that’s not true, I can’t help but wonder where my man is? I would love to be in a relationship, but waiting for “Mr. Right” is so hard! What are your suggestions on waiting for God’s best for me?

      • I am almost 22 and I’ve done the same thing! It’s really hard to wait but, then again, I’ve set standards for the man I want to marry. I’m wondering if I’m being too picky, though, because I’m SO old-fashioned and want a gentleman. Is it too much to ask for?

        • I’m the same way! But my mom always tells me that it’s good to be picky because if you’re not you could probably wind up with a really bad guy who influences you the wrong way rather than finding and awesome, sweet, amazing guy who will help you grow in God.

    6. I totally agree with Chris Wheeler! Guys during their teenage years are boys! They don’t actually mature until they get to college! I love the saying, “Wait for Steak!” LOL! But, I love the saying, because I think it will help me wait for the right guy!

    7. Nicole this is such a good idea! I LOVE IT!

      I totally agree with Chris and how we should wait for men. I have never been in a relationship because I promised God I would wait until the man he has planned for me comes along, but all my friends and family keep telling me I need to start dating because I am 18. It’s good to know that other people believe the same things and that I am not alone in my views.
      Thanks 🙂

    8. Not to be a brat or anything but I’d rather eat jerky than steak. 😉
      But I get his concept. Just saying…that was my first thought after watching this. lol
      Aaand I think it’s cool how he says big sweet(:

    9. He is awesome!!! Great advice.

      I have a friend that’s parents divorced when she was little and it scarred her for life. She has always craved for attention because she never had that fatherly figure she needed. She has some dating problems, she thinks she needs a guy now and she is still young-15. I have tried to explain to her time and time again that she doesn’t need a boyfriend and she needs to wait, but she doesn’t listen. She is also a Christian. Please help. All I can do now is pray for her

      • Hey @Brokiebear, I also know some friends who feel that way! Your right. All you can really do is pray for her, and sometime when you do get to pray for her also ask that God may just grow in the love that she needs. We can only encourage our christian friends so much, but only God can really change a heart. I hope this helps! praying God will give you wisdom and strength sister.

    10. I love what he said. And i just wanted to point out that i don’t think he was saying that you wait for a that guy when he’s an adult, just when he is mature and seeking God, not someone who is immature. I mean even adults can be a little immature.

    11. I love this. I have had those little kid “boyfriend” “girlfriend” thing going on when I was little yes, but I have never been in an actual dating relationship and I am totally fine with that! I dont want to date at my age because your right chris. It does take time for boys to mature but there are people out there who actually arent bad at the age we are.we are still young though so I dont excpect that 100% matureness tho lol! I am 14 and I actually get along better with boys. I have more guy friends then girls!:) its not a bad thing but sometimes I/us girls have to be careful because guys will say they are your friend but intend to be more. So just be careful girls:) its happened to me before. U just have to come straight up and tell them your one and only intention to be friends. I am going to patiently and happily wait for Gods MAN for me:)

    12. I Love this because I have been struggling with this for a long time. Now I understand better that I need to wait for a man not a boy. Girls do mature faster than boys so it makes sense to wait for steak = ) Thank You! Please put more of these up, they are very good and insightful! <3

    13. I agree 100% I also believe it’s important to help our brothers in Christ stay pure and waiting to find that MAN where we can both serve our Almighty God together.
      #Question 1: Is it wrong to find someone attractive yet be able to talk to them as friends and let a friendship grow?

    14. What if a guy is able to spiritually encourage you, but you don’t know if you’re ready for a relationship in your life? There’s this guy who I’ve been able to learn a lot from, and we’re kind of friends, but it’s pretty complicated… What kind of advice to you give on waiting that way, and even letting that relationship grow in a Godly way?

      • I’m kind of having a hard time with this whole aspect right now. I’m 17, and the guy I have been talking to is 18 and we get along so well. We both help each other whenever possible spiritually but I’ve been told by a couple people that they don’t like him. I really believe he’s different from what they think- they think he’s still a boy, while I deff. see him growing into a man more and more. But my parents are also going through a big divorce at the moment and my mom says she says some characteristics in my guy friend that are in my father, and not so great characteristics these are… I think I may just be scared of many things: my moms big opinions, her maybe not approval of him, scared of getting hurt and so on… What advice is there for this?

    15. Do guys only think about sex when they look at a girl? (Even if they are Christians?)

      Do guys lust after knees and thighs?
      And should girls wear long skirts instead of skinny jeans?

      Do guys care about beauty? And do they expect a certain level of it?

    16. 1) if a guy pursues you in more than a friendship kind of way, how can you tell them that you only want to pursue friendship and nothing more?

      2) How can you keep God first in a relationship with a guy?

      3) How do you know if a guy truly loves you for who you are (not just for your appearance, etc)?

      • I can really only answer the first one, and that is to straight-up tell this guy that you just want to be friends. There’s no easy way to do it. Beating around the bush never helps. Just say something like “I’m really touched, but I think we’d be better as friends” or something along those lines. I don’t have any experience with this, but I have heard multiple advice columns give their share of advice, so, I hope this helped 🙂 And I noticed that your comment was in April, but better late than never, right? 🙂

    17. i am homeschooled and there is a homeschooling ball coming up in May. My mom had me ask my crush out and now he is being distant. We had a really good friendship and now I NEED a response from him so how do I get a response without being too pushy?

      ~Ashley Rose

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