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College Beat: “Help! I’m Having Issues With My College Roommie!”
Written by Christi Given | October 31, 2014
Are you having problems with your college roommate and wondering how to handle the situation?
Of course I’ll always point you to God’s Word and prayer, but depending on the issue, you may also need to deal personally with your roommate, which may not be the easiest thing to do. Do you ever feel like you want to say something, but don’t want it to be awkward later? Well, again, pray before you speak or talk to your roommie and get your parents’ or mentor’s advice regarding your particular situation. It is always smart to get counsel from older, wiser people. We want to be honest with our friends and peers, but we also want to deal with issues in a loving, Christ-like manner, amen?
Next is that we need to speak gently and kindly. For example, say, “I wanted to mention something that’s interfering with my studies or sleep…I understand you have a different schedule; maybe we can work something out.” Or you can say, “Would you mind possibly using headphones while you study? I prefer x, y, z….” You get the idea.
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. (Proverbs 15:1)
You can mention that you’re a light sleeper and/or you can even choose to solve the problem on your own before bringing it up. Maybe if she is too loud, you can get earplugs, and then if the issue continues, you can mention something.
Next, we don’t want to attack when communicating; rather, we want to speak how we would want to be spoken to. I recommend giving a suggestion or a gentle request. You don’t want to be overly critical, which can damage the friendship. You want to walk in love and peace, amen?
Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God. (Matthew 5:9)
Finally, if the problem persists or if your roommie is totally disrespectful, you may want to do some research on how you can change or switch roommates, if possible. You don’t want to be in a tense, uncomfortable situation. God will guide you and protect you, so keep seeking Him and ask for His wisdom.
Tips for How to Handle Issues With Your Roommie
1. Pray and read God’s Word. Seek God first and He will guide you.
2. Ask your parents for advice. The Bible says to seek wise counsel when needed. From there, you can decide what to say and when to say it.
3. Give gentle suggestions. Speak in a loving manner (Proverbs 15:1).
4. Be a peacemaker. If the problem is fixable without resorting to conflict or trying to ask for the other person to change, try and handle it before confrontation.
5. Walk in love. Humble yourself and remember you are a reflection of Jesus wherever you go. Don’t be rude or critical, but nicely ask or try and solve the problem. Look up “effective communication” tips such as “I” statements and eye contact. Make sure it is a good time for both of you to calmly and respectfully talk.
I am praying for you, PI Girls! Love you! If you have any further questions, feel free to contact me on facebook.com/ChristiGiven. God bless you!